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Listen Up Lindsay Lohan And The Hollywood Anti-Boob Squad

herbie_loaded.jpg

Dear Lindsay,

We just saw your movie, Herbie: Fully Loaded. You know what? It was great! It really was. Congratulations. It was entertaining. It made us feel for Herbie. And for you. We cheered. We laughed. And, it did the original justice. Best of all, you looked great. Really great. So, to all those buffoons and gossipists who obsessed over Disney supposedly digitally reducing a certain part of your body but wouldn't be caught dead in a G rated Disney flick to confirm the myth, we say, "Go see the movie people! There's more Lohan jiggling in Herbie than in all her other movies combined." And get this. The movie was so good, the six year old we refer to as daughter who watched the movie with us didn't even ask, "Daddy, why does her chest keep moving?"

Anyway, that's not the point. Well, it sort of is. While you looked great on the movie, we're a bit concerned about the recent photos of you in which you appear to be in need of some serious McDonald's intake. You do know you don't look good sporting the Calista Flockhart, Lara Flynn-Boyle thing, right? We know what happened, though. Your agent and perhaps even you freaked out about the media's obsession with your breasts. That, combined with the fact the a Hollywood move rarely ever features a leading woman bigger than a B cup. Oh, sure. Guys can be huge but girls? Uh uh. You got big breasts? You get to play the bimbo part. The screamer in the horror flick. The background bikini babe. But not the leading lady part. Nope. Not in Hollywood. There, the good 'ol double standard rules, Lindsay. But, we think you should tell all those plastic Hollywood people who forced you to stop eating and turn into a twiglet to screw it and go eat a big, fat Paris Hilton Burger. They don't know what they're talking about. And you shouldn't be listening to them.

You are beautiful just the way you are/were, Lindsay. Don't let those Hollywood schmucks tell you your breasts are distracting and that audiences won't take you seriously. We say crap to that. We took you seriously in Herbie and we liked you a lot. Don't get sucked into all that Hollywood fakery. Don't let it run your life, girl! Please start eating again.

Written by Steve Hall    Comments (8)     File: Celebrity     Jul- 2-05  

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Comments

Also, make "private" sex tapes. vidzplzkthxbye.

Posted by: Nick on July 3, 2005 12:48 AM

And let's face it, a little less coke probably wouldn't be a bad idea either.

Posted by: drew on July 3, 2005 01:25 AM

Hehe.

The thin look is just so nasty.

Posted by: Rob Mortimer on July 3, 2005 08:57 PM

Teaching you children's taste:
H is for Herbie: Fully Loaded
http://www.yeeeah.com/weblog/2005/07/herbie_fully_lo.html

Posted by: Phil on July 5, 2005 07:17 AM

The movie was good? Didn't expect that... I may have to take my kid now.

Posted by: Tyler on July 5, 2005 01:13 PM

I saw the movie. it was alright, for a Lindsay Lohan film. wouldnt have expected it.
I think Lindsay should stop worring about her size.. i mean it is quite obvious she paid to get herself that way... but theres a old saying life goes on, but plastic surgery is forever

Posted by: Lily on July 11, 2005 03:15 PM

i like lindsay lohan even known if she said mean things i forgive her and she don't say mean things anymore hillary is the bitch ugly whore slut nothing good about her lindsay lohan is cute nice and she didn't have boob job she grew older and gained wait i saw it off the interent not this sight another one cause celebs say it and they found out that was just a roomor id love to hang out with her she's soo comfterable i like her she's sweet nice she's cool nothing bad about her

Posted by: chrristina on July 19, 2005 07:23 PM

hey lindsay lohan me and my friend darryl are one of your biggest fans me an darryl want you email address mine is i_hate_school3@hotmail.com and darryls is darry_products@hotmail.com plz add us plz well gtg love your biggest fans brenda and darryl bye

Posted by: brenda on January 8, 2006 02:04 PM

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