Strongly Worded Copy Required to Communicate With Idiots

Strong words are sometimes required when writing copy or talking to lazy losers who insist upon parking in handicapped parking spots when their only handicap is being an idiot. Click here to see the strong words.

Crispin Porter + Bogusky Scripting Burger King-Themed Movie

It's well known we in the ad business are just a bunch of Hollywood wannabes stuck creating ads when we'd rather be making movies and hangin' with the celebs. One agency got tired of its wannabe status and is making a movie. The agency is Crispin Porter + Bogusky and the movie is being scripted to take place above a Burger King restaurant. Yes, CP+B is scripting a movie which may or may not star the King. What it will do, likely, is prominent feature Burger King and, if the movie is any good, open up a whole Pandora's box of imitators.

Ads promoting movies. Ads before movies. Ads in movies. An entire movie crafted to be an ad. Is anyone else pulling out their hair right now and screaming, "Stop! Stop! I wanna get off! Please! Is there life on Mars? I don't care, I volunteer to be the first!"? OK, we can't help it. We can't wait to see this movie. But CP+B really needs to come up with a Burger Queen (no the gay kind). The King just doesn't have the right eye candy qualities to attract all those 16 year old boys that frequent movie theaters.

Coke Copies Mentos, Launches Own Video Contest

Now we know why Coke reacted in such a blase fashion when all those Diet Coke/Mentos videos made the rounds. They didn't want to hype something that might take away publicity from them doing the exact same thing Mentos did: create a contest/site where people can submit videos and win prizes. Now we can envision what it must have been like for Coke spokeswoman Susan McDermott, in reaction to freaked out Coke execs running into her office screaming, "Kill this Mentos thing! Squash it! Eradicate it! We're about to commoditize a grass roots effort and take all the spontaneity out of it! And those fuckers over at Mentos are gonna beat us!" All the poor woman could do was toss off the geyser videos like they were inconsequential when, in reality, they were the very same thing Coke had planned in the first place. Let Mentos steal Coke's thunder? No way. But too bad. They already did.

Anyway, Coke is encouraging people to submit videos that align with the company's new tagline, "The essence of you." The videos will be rated by visitors and then judged by a collection of professional filmmakers. AQKA created the new site.

Everyone Lies When It Comes to Porn

George Simpson, as only George Simpson can, in a piece called The Sun Sets On Naked Women, debunks a recent Nielsen//NetRatings study on the porn surfing habits of the British and calls everyone a liar. The study claims "only" four in ten British men look at porn and Britain's kids only look at porn by mistake "while looking for something else online."

Commenting on the unlikely honesty of teenagers, George writes, "Anyone who has a teenager under his or her roof already knows that teens are the most accomplished liars in the world - and that expecting them to say anything other than that they stumbled across ComeOnMyFace.com while looking up the capital of Botswana was idiotic to begin with." Classic. And very true.

Concept in the Air, No More 'Skip Ad' Button, Fuel Moustaches

- Screw the creative conference room. Hold your next concepting session at an elegant dining table suspended in the sky.

- Tacoda's Dave Morgan thinks online ads will become so good and so relevant that the ubiquitous "skip this ad" button will no longer be necessary. Excuse us while we pick ourselves up off the floor after ripping open an ab while laughing at this thought.

- For no reason at all, Fuel Industries celebrated Moustache Day last Friday and thinks every agency should do the same next year. Whatever.

- Here's a United Colors of Benetton ad that compares a bit more than just skin color. Definitely something not to look at at work or at least when no co-workers are around.

- Here's a useless factoid. Mundane Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil has the highest brand equity according to a recent Harris Interactive study.

- Mazda's new Mazda3 commercial from JXT Dussendorf. Eh. We've seen better.

- PointRoll has partnered with Fandango and will now embed ticket sales into their expand-o-banners.

Leave it to Sisley to combine a udder full of milk and a beautiful model with white stuff all over her face.

Cuervo Black Campaign Unsells Target Audience

Adrants reader John Eppstein doesn't like the new Cuervo Black campaign which promotes it as an ingredient for a Cuervo Black and Cola. He thinks the ads are a bit pretentious and a turn off to the very audience the campaign is trying to reach. We'll let him explain:

"Have the people in charge of the current Cuervo Black ad campaign secretly been paid off by the competition? Or are they simply too stupid to understand that, while an obnoxious, oversaturated ad blitz may get a product to stick in the audience's collective memory, it is not always a desirable result? The current Cuervo Black ads inspire a strong aversion response in a large segment of the market. The smug, insincere voice reading lines obviously written by some flack who thinks everybody is even more stupid and vacuous than himself are an immediate turnoff..... and when this advertising is scheduled in heavy saturation the result is people swearing that they will never, ever partake of the product that this noxious advertising is attempting, oh so clumsily, to shove (or pour, in this case) down their throats."

more »

Publishers Clearing House Acquires Search Site Blingo

Extending its foothold in the area of sweepstakes, Publishers Clearing House, that company with those people who show up at everyone's door except your own, has acquired Blingo, a search site that randomly hands out awards to people who visit the site. Blingo was launched in 2004 and has handed out 22,000 prizes since that date.

Nude Trampolinist Promotes Wedding Contest Movie

When Adrants reader John Brock sent us a link to something about nudes bouncing on a trampoline, our interest was piqued. Unfortunately, that piqued interest was short lived. Rather than the expected trampolining woman with big breasts bouncing uncontrollably, we get a guy'sbig bouncing belly. It's all to promote a movie called Confetti which is about UK comedians and three couples who somehow compete to win a bridal magazine contest for "Most Original Wedding of the Year."

Adrants Goes to ad:tech. So Should You

Not that you haven't noticed but ad:tech is advertising all over Adrants. ad:tech is a show I go to three times a year and no, they are not paying me to say this. They pay for ad banners, not my personal opinion of the show which is this: in all seriousness, if you are even remotely involved in any aspect on online/interactive marketing, you really should go to this show. It's not only that there are tons of exhibitor companies that you can work with to better your online marketing but it's also all the personal and business networking that goes on during the show.

Excluding the proliferation of creative award shows, there aren't many times each year the country's ad industry gets together to simply learn what's new and to watch booth babes hand out...oh sorry, they don't have those any more except for the few who slip in undetected. Anyway, enough about that. Seriously, it a great conference, I always have a great time there, learn a lot and meet new people. Then again, I don't get out much but, again, that's besides the point. This is about you, not me. So go. Learn, Have fun. and be sure to find me and say hello. Get info here. Register here. If you use discount code ATCHAB, I think you can save 20 percent. And don't worry about that talking head at the bottom right on the screen. You can shut her up with a click of the mouse.

Mentos to Launch Geyser Video Contest

After Mentos caught wind of all this video that displayed explosive geysers when Mentos and Diet Coke are combined, Mentos said, "Cool. This is great." Coke, apparently suffering from some sort of refusal to believe the way advertising message are conveyed have changed dramatically said, "It's an entertaining phenomenon. We would hope people want to drink more than try experiments with it." Right. Anyway, Mentos is leveraging (oh, I hate that word) the trendlet and will launch the Mentos Geyser Video Contest in mid-July. As B.L. Ochman reports, the contest will encourage people to send in their best videos of the mixture and, presumably, win prizes for their efforts. Coke, on the other hand, will likely sit this one out but, at the same time, thanks Mentos for encouraging people to buy Diet Coke. Yup, it's a win-win.