GoDaddy Needs to Retire Breasts That Don't Bounce

img_candice_041106.jpg

Dear Bob Parsons,

While your infatuation with Candice Michelle is clearly understood, your infatuation with placing her in commercial after commercial is not. We'd be more likely to understand that infatuation if the commercials were actually any good but with each new addition to the collection, the commercials slip further down the hill towards uninteresting mediocrity. It was funny once when Candice couldn't keep her top on. It was mildly funny when she rubbed her boobs against the window while on that window washing scaffolding. But it's hardly funny at all to watch her run through sprinklers across a golf course while an old dude gawks "Oh, the GoDaddy Girl!" Some amount of interests in the spot might occur if Candice's water-soaked breasts actually moved in a manner resembling human physiology rather than that of a plastic surgeon's creation.

That said, the spots wouldn't be any better if Candice were flat or a natural 36DDD. Since the original Super Bowl spot, Bob, an important thing called creativity seems to have eluded you. No doubt Candice is a wonderful person but it's time to move on. The gimmick is dead. It's time to leave the whole bimbo routine behind. Perhaps, with your new GoDaddy Girl, Danica Patrick, the obsession with big, fake breasts will wane. Now, if you want to feature yet another GoDaddy Girl who sports big breasts that actually move while in motion, we might not be so critical. Oh but wait, then we'd simply be perpetuating the stereotype of casting women as objects of desire. We'd never want to do that, right, Bob?

So, Bob, it's really time to move on. It's time for a new approach. Time stop the ogling, the breaking tank top straps, the wet t-shirt runs, the bimbo maneuvers. Oh fuck it. Just go out and build a stable to GoDaddy Girls rivaling the collection of Maxim Girls and you and your business will be gold.

Equally Breast Obsessed,
Steve Hall
Publisher, Adrants

Written by Steve Hall    Comments (15)     File: Commercials, Opinion, Racy, Super Bowl 2007     Oct-24-06  
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Comments

Steve

I'm confused. You don't like the crap that godaddy throws out there but you generally applaud the CPB work. Which let's be frank, the CPB work, for the most part is the same contrived crap. Perhaps if CPB were doing the Godaddy work we'd be talking about how fantastic the work is.

Posted by: TimmyT on October 24, 2006 11:14 AM

I don't know what's more pathetic... oh wait, yes, yes, I do. It's commenters who complain about CPB on posts that don't even mention them!

TimmyT

I'm confused. You don't like the crap that AdRants throws out there but you generally applaud the non-CPB work. Which, let's be frank, your complaints about CPB work on posts that don't even mention CPB, for the most part is the same contrived crap. Perhaps if you weren't commenting on CPB work on non-CPB posts, we wouldn't be talking about them in the first place.

Posted by: ariel on October 24, 2006 01:59 PM

But Danica is fast, get it? wink wink.

Posted by: snake on October 24, 2006 03:25 PM

You young punks keep on fighting, Danica can come play in my yard any old time. If she said come here boy, likely the two of you would be wagging your tails and on a run.

Posted by: Old Redneck on October 24, 2006 04:02 PM

By the way boys, Candice could make you play fetch any day of the week. She does draw a bit of attention and haven't heard any others who are tired of seeing her, yet.

Posted by: Old Redneck on October 24, 2006 04:07 PM

He should get Christoph Clark from Evil Empire to direct some of his commercials. His "Big Natural Tits" series is the best!

Posted by: Netmerc on October 24, 2006 07:30 PM

Great. Now you did it. Bob's gonna come out with the GoDaddy Guy just to piss you off.

;-p

Posted by: makethelogobigger on October 24, 2006 07:41 PM

What's more pathetic? I'll answer that: The hpocrisy in knocking virtually the same exact crap that CPB does, but applauding the that same crap when CPB does it.

The GoDaddy campaign works; you need only to look at market share since the campaign launched to see how well it works. The same can't be said for some of the CPB work.

Keep mind I'm not knocking CPB. I am, however, knocking the sheep like attitude we have on this site for CPBs work.

Posted by: TimmyT on October 25, 2006 09:45 AM

I think we've equally crap on CPB as much as we've praised them here. I don't see any similarity between the GoDaddy work and CPB work at all so I don't get the notion of comparing the two. Sure, the GoDaddy campiagn may still be working. I'm just bored with it. That's all.

Posted by: Steve Hall on October 25, 2006 09:55 AM

Steve

I'm talking about shock value for shock value's sake. CPB's BK work is just that. Godaddy's work is just that.

Ariel

I'm not surprised you'd defend CPB, given your ties to VML.

Posted by: TimmyT on October 25, 2006 10:02 AM

OK, fair enough, Timmy.

Posted by: Steve Hall on October 25, 2006 10:09 AM

Oh please, Timmy - I don't work with CPB and I've certainly talked trash on previous projects of theirs - I just find it AWFULLY BORING to bring them up on a post that has NOTHING to do with them.

It's not so much defending them (because I'm not), so much as it is knocking you.

Posted by: ariel on October 25, 2006 10:23 AM

oh please, there is very little this child won't talk trash on

Posted by: your mom on October 25, 2006 04:26 PM

Well I just bought www.GoDaddysGirls.com
and GoDaddy Dosnt own it. Digg the story at Digg.com

Posted by: Go Daddy on March 22, 2007 11:53 AM

Well I just bought www.GoDaddysGirls.com
and GoDaddy Dosnt own it. Digg the story at Digg.com

Posted by: Go Daddy on March 22, 2007 11:57 AM

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