Draft FCB Gives Yet Another Reason Not to Select Them

Adrants reader Dresden directs our attention to the super-classy Draft FCB congrats ad to all the winners from last summer's Cannes ad festival.

Dresden wryly notes, "Perhaps they should be the first to receive the 'Neal French Award' for non-creative, derivative, tacky work trying to pass as advertising..."

Ooh, that burns going down. Bottoms up to Draft. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Brochure Offers Dinner, Drinks And...Rear Entry?

Flickr user skonen blades wonders if the last panel in this brochure with the copy, "Join us for...whatever you're in the mood for," is a bit suggestive. He's even gone so far as to provide his own labels for the panels from first to last, "Dinner. Romantic drinks. A night out with friends. Rear entry." Whoops. Rear entry? Hey, we don't write this stuff. We just share it.

Chips. Nut-Crushing. Japan. Need We Say More?

We wish we could come up with a title or description better than Adverb's "Doritos Japan Nut-crushing Package Design" but the fact is we can't - it is simply too apt. Even parsing it won't make it any better than that title already is: Doritos. In Japan. Makes nut-crushing package for chips.

Look closely because YES! - that is indeed a foot on the yellow man's nuts. Why do Japanese ads always hurt so good? - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Big Surprise: Candystand Puts Out Yet Another Candy-Related Game

Candystand, Candystand, Candystand:

"We've taken Origummy from our Extra Gum TV spots and "game-ified" him. Check out Extra Jetpack Mission -- another brand new game on Candystand.com. Certainly, not as complex as GT Racing or Mini Putt, but arguably more approachable and all-around fun." - Arbirtrary Candystand PR guy

Yeah well, we think Origummy looks high and is not too far a cry from South Park's stoned, lame-ass two-dimensional Towelie. The only difference is we're actually fond of Towelie.

Well, if you ain't got jack to do or you happen to be Canadian (interestingly, a lot of Candystand's games are made by Canadian groups like Fuel Industries in Ottawa), check out the game. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Penile Protection Panders Pithy Penis Peculiarities

If there weren't already enough sexual innuendo-laden marketing, Durex is bringing us even more seen-this, done-this, bored-with-this wink wink stuff on a site called The Pants Whisperer. On the site, you can find all the usual stuff: the hot doctor, the penis name generator, penis diagnosis, penis dickorations, a section called Bang It where people can upload videos of their personalized penile obsessions and, of course, the ubiquitous product information. So if you're feeling a bit inadequate today, head over to the site and pump yourself up with all sorts of penile obsession.

Christian Creates Christ-Centered Guidelines on Sex and Advertising

Adrants reader Mike sent us this manifesto on why sex and advertising are two pools that just shouldn't mix. Apparently sex in advertising is an assault on religious freedom, a form of lying and prostitution, and a contributing reason why consumers are covetous. The central authority is the Bible, from which twelve reasons are outlined on why it's totally illogical and immoral to attach a luscious naked body or lascivious thought to ... well, burritos, for example.

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Durex Makes Superhero Cutouts for Your Little Friend

Yes, yes, we know there's a flashbulb obstructing the image but this was too good not to share. We found this Durex ad in a men's restroom in a city dominated by college students, and we can't help but wonder how many actually put scissors to print and let their little buddies fly forth and conquer.

The text definitely leaves no room for the imagination. Or does it in fact encourage the imagination to reach mighty new heights? Maybe Durex should hawk a superhero cape for both heads and not just one. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Sony Pushes Peace in a World of Bullhorns

We can't always choose our in-flight seatmates and in a crowded airport it's only wishful thinking to imagine we can control our surroundings. Sony reminds us of this ongoing state of quiet angst with the new print series for their cheaper-than-Bose, noise-mumming headphones. Here's a male variant.

We think the campaign is fair considering they only recently decided to wake their marketing department up from a long slumber. They were on shaky footing for awhile as demonstrated here and here. We're sure we'll see more interesting work from Sony as time marches on. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Chipotle Changes the Way We Look at Aluminum-Swathed Burritos

Here's a Chipotle ad that made us feel a little weird about taking that next mouthful of beef. Did that come out wrong? There's just something about its metallic appearance that makes it look... oh, never mind.

Sometimes a burrito is just a burrito. We do like how they added "big burritos" at bottom. It really pushes the innuendo over the edge. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Bay Area Rapid Transit Says Thank You, Big-Brother Style

Northern California's BART system is running an ongoing "thank you" campaign, variations of which are plastered all over their 20-or-so stations. The ones we've seen include "Thank you, romance novel reading riders" and "Thank you, first time riders," among others including this one.

Having taken BART since our guileless preschool days, we think the campaign is rather sweet if not a little creepy. Really. We love that they know us so well but as we crochet or clutch our trashy novels we can't help but jerk our eyes around to see who's watching. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Firm Says Even Accountants Can Be Passionate, Sexy

Here's an interesting ad seen at the airport over the weekend. Chicago-based Grant Thornton wants to make it crystal clear that their accountants have the spice of life those other accountants so often lack.

A rose between the teeth is a clever way to make the point but the real question lies in whether they can also tango while calculating our tax return. Then we'll really be swept off our feet. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Viral Video Meets DRTV in Brilliantly Goofy Site Promotion

If you ever find yourself watching some obscure local TV station late at night in your hotel room while on some lame business trip in some lame city with your lame co-workers to pitch some lame client some lame new work your agency's done for them and a commercial like this one comes on, you just might quit your job immediately and enroll at The Viral Learning Center. Yes, you too can become a viral video expert.

At the Learning Center, you'll learn important viral video tactics such as filming yourself sitting at your desk, the art of falling, hurting animals, using animals to hurt people, working with excrement and vomit and "many more." This hilarious DRTV spoof takes whacks at both the DRTV genre and viral video itself all to promote, yes, a website that's all about viral video called Ziddio. It's one of those "we pay you for your video" site. Kind of like Revver with wit. American Copywriter points.

Schedules Change, Tree Wrapped, Toilets Mobbed, Moss Mad

- Cynopsis reports, "ABC has slid The Nine into hiatus status. The Wednesday night 10p time period this week will be home to a special edition of 20/20. Elsewhere, in another schedule change, NBC will replace Friday Night Lights on Tuesdays at 8p beginning December 26 with a third weekly installment of Dateline NBC. NBC has ordered up a full season of Friday Night Lights, but at this point has not announced its new time period."

- Swarovski Crystal is taking advantage of Rockefeller Center Christmas treee anticipation with a giant scaffold wrap.

- Apparently those Times Square Charmin toilets were a hit with people waiting up to 45 minutes to offer their leave behinds.

- Kate Moss may pull out of her Agent Provocateur marketing deal because she's miffed company owner Serena Rees is dating Clash bassist Paul Simonon, former husband to Moss' best friend Tricia.