Boxer Needs Really Big Hot Pastrami Up His...Nevermind

Not even ten seconds into this video in which a boxer tells his corner man he's got nothing left and needs something big, something really big, we're already yelling at the screen, "Bend over loser and take it up the ass like a man!" Then we realize it's not some cheesy porn flick, it's a Nemer Fieger-created, Twist-directed Subway commercial for the chain's new Big Hot Pastrami sub. Seriously. We know it's just us but the combination of "needing something really big" coupled with a bulging, footlong object made our mind go to an entirely different place than a Subway restaurant.