Adrants Offers Massive Year-End Orgasm(s)
What? Groan... Hello? Oh damn, is it 2008 already? Do we really have to go back to work? All that eggnog, skiing, presents and endless repeats of Christmas movies was becoming an enjoyable norm. Oh well. One does have to get off the holiday couch after a while, take a shower and re-join the human race.
We're sure everyone's feeling a bit groggy this first day back to work so we're going to bluntly kick you in the ass this morning with 2007's Raciest Ads of the Year. After all, a bit of T and A gets everyone up, right?
So, here we go. And since there's no reason to limit one's pleasure, we're not limiting this list to top ten or anything like that. We're just sharing what we think are worthy (read lame use of sex when all else fails) entries in this category. No worries if you finish before you finish. The goodies will be here when you're ready to go again.
In no particular order, we had Hombre Magazine celebrating the true reader reaction to the images in its magazine. We had Agent Provocateur create an entire mansion full of kinkiness. We had Perrier place a sexy thong-clad ass right in our face for no apparent reason. We had Orangina transform its juice into...ejaculatory fluid? We had French condom maker share with us a woman in the throes of a two minute, full blown orgasm.
We had a horrible FOX movie, The Comebacks, promoted with a not-so-horrible YouTube video campaign in which a bountifully breasted cheerleader cavorted in a men's locker room. At least that's where we think she was. All we've managed to notice so far is her cavernous cleavage bulging out a tiny top barely big enough to support her pulchritudinous breasts.
We had men's underwear maker JBS acknowledging the fact no man wants to see another man model underwear but they sure do love watching women model their under goods. Not to mention the fact girls themselves love to wear boy underwear once in a while too.
We had a campaign for Canadian retailer Mac Convenience put Orangina to shame with...a tree ejaculating on a woman's breasts. The campaign is aptly named WTF and WTF is exactly what you'll say when you view this glorious oddity.
Of course, we had the whole series of Obama Girl videos featuring the impossibly hot Amber Lee Ettinger prancing about to the Leah Kaufman-penned I Got A Crush on Obama. The series of videos promoted a political cause, Barely Political and were created by My Box in a Box creator Ben Relles.
We has Lee Cooper Denim give us British Bum Society Inspector Flemming who approached women on the street, checked out their asses and had them try on jeans in a booth equipped with a "bum-cam" forever cementing the marriage between online video and booty.
And just so this whole racy ad thing isn't tossed off as some sort of one sided obsession written by some horny male ad slut, we give you some ripped, six pack equipped maleness stripping down in the name of breast cancer. Hey, cancer sucks. Why not lighten up the nightmare a bit with some beefcake? We also had French clothing store Celio turn the table on the typical hottie wearing lingerie thing by offering up Les Shoppenboys, hot male ass (well, not all of them) which pranced about the retailer's stores.
And wait, there's even more hot male ass. We thought it was nice of Levi's to provide a different sort of eye candy in the form of ripped ab'd guys stripping in a locker room. This bit of visual pleasure gave the ladies something to look at while perusing Levi's latest offerings for the ladies. And then there was Burt Reynolds but we can skip that one.
Moving on, we had Diesel shack up two girls and a guy in a hotel room for some webcam action. The whole thing became their website for a week. We had the marketing book, Punk Marketing, promoted with videos of women reading the book while stripping. For Kreslova vodka, we had a lonely Russian man's imagination drift to the pleasures of beautiful woman clad in nothing more than tiny thongs and cleavage-enhancing lingerie.
We had the beautiful Aria Giovanni hook up with Brickhouse Mobile to create Ariamobile, a site where Aria lovers can download videos, photos and ringtones featuring Aria which led one writer to comment, "well I guess it certainly is one way men can get Giovanni in their pants."
It's just so hard...to stop, that is. Yes, we have more. Jim Beam gave us the Jim Beam Bimbo who, in a video, proved herself to be the world's most perfect girlfriend. We had a financial services company align a successful career with the ability to achieve a nice big erection later in life. Yes, they really did that.
And because everyone enjoys a nice orgasm every once in awhile, OhMiBod was kind enough to bring the ladies its iPod powered sex toy. Sloggi, as always, gave us plenty of thong-clad ass to look at. And finally, we had those French AIDS awareness ads that offered every one a peek into their future sex life even if it does include making out with a condom over your head.
Oh, and let's not forget all Tom Ford ads. All Dolce and Gabanna ads. And all American Apparel ads. And Che Magazine whose obsession with ass rivals even our own. Or yet another use of thong-clad ass for no apparent reason. Or, oops, Disney's sponsorship of webcam stippers. OMG, what has the world come to?
OK now that a torrential downpour of pent up sex has been unleashed on your ass (or where ever you prefer it), you can all go back to work now knowing you won't have to suffer this indignity for at least another year.