That's a Saturn, All Right.

If you watch any TV at all, you've probably seen that Saturn ad where a bunch of people go "That's a Saturn...?" and then "That's a Saturn?" and then (with contempt!) "That's not a Saturn!" followed by the admiring "That's a Saturn, all right!"

This campaign tack was taken to encourage new buyers to see Saturn with fresh eyes. But apparently the ad can also be used to reaffirm old beliefs.

Oops.

Smooth-Talkin' Beetle Flatters Model into Frenzy ... and Vice-Versa

Meet Max, the classic '64 Volkswagen Beetle and star of VW's new campaign. In it, Max is a German talk show host who interviews people like Heidi Klum and David Hasselhoff of Baywatch.

He's not the tough-truths type. Check out the Heidi Klum interview. If Heidi and Max each had a phallus, they'd both be bent double.

Nice shoes though, Heidi. The soles matched Max's hood after that "German engineering is so sexy!" line you gave him.

Aquafina Pins Piniella for Daily Words of Wisdom

If the bobblehead starts talking to you, squeeze the wheel and look straight ahead. It's probably just an Aquafina promotion.

To celebrate its snappy new designation as "Official Water of Major League Baseball" (sorry, there's an official water?), Aquafina has launched Lou's Daily Affirmations, featuring Lou Piniella.

Put together by Tribal DDB Dallas, yesterday's affirmation was "Life is always more interesting with a bat in your hands."

No need to tell me twice. The pinata might need convincing though.

Around Here, We Call Him the Poetic Prophet.

It's a dude rapping about design coding!

If my mom threw out my rap cassettes and replaced them with SEO rap (as opposed to rap about seeking out the Holy Spirit), she would have changed my life forever.

And I would have thanked her (as opposed to throwing things across the room and crying, because that E-40 cassette cost me three days of unspent lunch money, and also because I would never again have the opportunity to memorize all the lyrics to "Sprinkle Me").

More SEO rap here. Topics include conversion closing, paid search, link building and social media. Lyrics included.

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Mortgage Crisis 'Splained, More Sites Go Siteless, Car Porn Covered, Go Blog for Book Deals

- Kevin Horne reminded us of the existence of the Subprime Primer. All that fucked-up logic isn't just acid caricature. The mortgage crisis really happened this way.

- Modernista wasn't the only brand to go siteless. So has this Britney Spears fan site. And Jung von Matt in Stockholm.

- This Facebook app takes your existing profile pic and lets you turn it into a bar-hopping, casual-sex-having avatar. Okay, maybe not so much casual sex.

- Like cars? Aw, that's cute. See MTLB's NY Auto Show Car Porn Wrap-Up. We like it when he vents.

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'Brothers Forever' Guy Parties with EyeWonder in Trademark Supersuit

Renaldo Lapuz -- who gave American Idol fans whiplash with his infectious hurts-so-good tune -- rocked out with EyeWonder for the latter's first-ever "March Adness" event in Times Square.

March Adness, which was co-sponsored by Adobe and Akamai, kicked off the NCAA college b-ball tournament on March 20 with three concurrent parties. The other two went down in LA and Chicago.

Here's a closer shot of Lapuz with his awesome Simon hat.

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T-Mobile Asks Engadget Mobile to Stop Using Magenta

In yet another display of corporate legal idiocy, T-Mobile parent Deutsche Telekom sent a letter to Weblogs, Inc.'s Engadget Mobile asking them to stop using the color magenta in their logo. The letter states T-Mobile uses the color magenta in its logo and, as a result, people might somehow become confused as to what T-Mobile does and what Engadget Mobile does.

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Russian Mail Order Brides Need No 'Evolution'

The mail order bride thing is questionable at best but this new commercial for loveme.com which spoofs Dove's Evolution and claims Russian women need no retouching spoofs the original perfectly. Rather than the woman in the video getting retouched, it's her surroundings that need help rising to her level of beauty; "proving" the existence of natural beauty.

You could attack the morality of this from a million different angles but we're (damn it's really hard to stop doing this "we" shit) going to appreciate it for its stand-alone beauty, just like the commercial asks us to focus on beauty as the sole quality a woman has to offer a man who can't get a date for himself.

If Slow Graceful Camera Work is Your Thing, You'll Like This Lingerie Ad

If you like watching commercials in which the camera slowly makes visual love to a beautiful woman, then you'll love this new commercial for Livera Underwear featuring Dutch babe Yolanthe. There's really nothing else to say about this. You either like it or you don't.

Sandwiches Talk, Gore Spends, Doritos Advertises to Aliens

- Two Arby's roast beef sandwiches talk to each other. Yes, it's an actual television commercial.

- Al Gore is spending $300 million to spread his global warming gospel.

- Doritos is running an ad contest in the UK which awards the winner to broadcast from a radar in Norway into space for 24 hours. Great media buy!

Miller Lite is changing the packaging of its signature Lite beer in April.

- Agency.com is expanding its management team with the addition of Dawn Furey as managing Partner. More like they're replacing their continuously revolving door of agency management.

- A good indicator CBS is catching on to what works on YouTube.

Cadbury Trades in Gorilla For Tricked Out Airport Vehicles

Here's Cadbury's new ad, a follow up to that Gorilla ad in which a dude in a gorilla suit lets loose on a drum set to Phil Collins' In the Air Tonight. This new ad trades in the gorilla for some tricked out airport trucks which have fun on the air strip to the tune of Queen's Don't Stop Me Now.

It's OK. A lot of work went into it. But after 90 seconds, you wonder what you're watching which, in some cases be a good thing. But, if you decide to stop watching before the last few seconds, you'll never know what it was for or that Cadbury would appreciate if you ran out to the store and bought one of their candy bars.

To Combat Underage Drinking, Alabama Targets Parents, Not Kids

The Parentalyzer was put together by Red Square Agency to tackle underage drinking in Alabama. It has stats on drinking and driving, tips for keeping tabs on teens, and ads where parents openly admit to letting their critters sip the sauce every once in awhile.

This is one of those campaigns that would piss me off if I were a bottle-slinging Alabama mom, but it's otherwise a riot to inflict on other people. (Especially while they're at work!) Are you brave enough to take the Parentalyzer quiz, which -- unlike your closest friends -- might be man (or, well, machine) enough to tell you that you're raising a future member of the AA?

Think about that over a nice soothing gin.

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Two Ad Guys Start Weird Brain Exercise Social Network

Like an account planner that actually knows the target audience he's bullshitting about in a new business presentation, George Parker writes us, "Cos, I know you guys are always looking for stuff... Steve, tits and arse, Angela, more intellectual stuff, I'm sending you something you might want to use in the category... "What do ad guys do when they finally get out of their BDA's?"

Yes, George know Angela and I very well. And we appreciate him sharing with us some "life after the Big Dumb Agency" which comes in the form on HeadstrongBrain, a new (oh God, not another one) social network that centers around...um...exercising the brain. He explains it all here which is a good thing because we sure can't.

Goodby and Silverstein Get Old, Like Young People, Party

OK, this is hilarious. Jeff Goodby and Rich Silverstein celebrate their many years in the business by portraying a bunch of senile old men in a video invitation to the agency's 25th anniversary party on May 8. In the video, the pair do all the stereotypical things old people supposedly do like fall asleep, lose their train of thought and drive around in those little automated carts. It's funny but thank God some hottie in a nurse's uniform pops her head into the frame towards the end reminding us nursing home living might not always be a bad thing.

Scorsese Joins MySpace, Bullies the Weak into Top 8 Subjugation

Speaking of people who might off you with a grin, Martin Scorsese joined MySpace and now my homepage is splattered with banner ads that read "MARTIN SCORSESE WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND!"

Tough to reject the guy who pimped Jodie and fed mobsters their lines for a whole generation. Plus, he has such an earnest smile. Almost like he wants to feed you cookies while peeling off your skin.

Adrants Gets Over Itself, Retires Royal We

OH: "It's about time those pompous fuck heads over at Adrants got over themselves and started writing like normal human beings without all that stupid "we" shit." OK so that wasn't actually an overheard from Twitter but it might as well have been. But that "we" shit has, indeed, been put out of its sorry-ass misery.

Yes, it's true. Over the weekend, Angela and I grabbed our digital sabers, dove head first into the vast archives of Adrants, swam through the sea of ones and zeros until we found that pretentious pile of cowardly grandiloquence hiding behind a pile of PUMA Cum Shot digits and promptly whacked his digital ass to piece Saw-style.

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Retirement Isn't Hard. Not Like Killing a Man without Breaking Eye Contact!

Here's a Ryan Iverson parody of Dennis Hopper's Ameriprise ads -- which were creepy to begin with.

Seems like it was just a matter of time before this guy got spoofed. Something about his choice of sunglasses and the way he touches index finger to thumb while talking. Plus, he does kinda vibe like he wouldn't mind killing you.