Aww, Don't Cry. You're Murdering Trees.
Greenpeace has built a spoof site to take on Kleenex, which, since hankies went out of mode, dominates the wipe-your-eyes and blow-your-nose market.
The "Kleer-cut" site is a barbed duplicate of Kleenex's current "Let it Out" campaign, which encourages people to hit soggy emotional highs and head for the nearest floral tissue box. "Tell calm, cool and collected to TAKE A HIKE," it coaxes. "It's time to LAUGH until you CRY. SCREAM until you spit. Show your heart and show some tears."
In contrast, Greenpeace encourages people to "TAKE A STAND instead of CRYING" and "SCREAM until PEOPLE hear you." The goal's to get people all ragey about how Kimberly-Clark uses brands like Kleenex to bankrupt ancient forests.
We're not usually heavy on the Greenpeace love, but neither are we big on that whole Sylvia Plath state of mind. So sorry, Kleenex. We get what you're doing, but encouraging people to indulge the messier aspects of the human condition is just not a flattering way to sell tissue. (Seriously. "Scream until you spit"?!)