Oh look! Trojan really does care how women feel during sex. Oh sure, they make all kinds of ribbed condoms and stuff but if a lady's man can't last long enough for all that ribbed goodness to do its thing, it's all kind of pointless. Enter Trojan Vibrating Touch, a battery-powered finger widget that delivers...um...personalized pleasure and is pretty much guaranteed to last as long as it takes...unlike the aforementioned male-powered method of stimulation.
Well if you ever want to watch the world's longest, most boring dissertation (um, blatherific business babble) on in-text advertising, give this Cannes Fringe video a watch in which Asa Bailey interviews Vibrant Media CMO Sean Finnegan who goes on and on and on and fucking on about the insanity that is in-text advertising.
Back when the first Harry Potter movie came out and, while on the train bound for Hogwarts, Hermione, played by Emma Watson, responded to something Harry or Ron by saying, "pleasure!" in the thickest of English accents, I was hooked. Then I slapped myself realizing she was like 12 at the time.
Fast forward to 2008. Watson, now 18, has been selected by Chanel as the new face for the company's Coco Mademoiselle fragrance following Keira Knightley. Watson has, no doubt, grown up to become a beautiful woman certainly worthy of appearance in a Chanel campaign, albeit with the proper repackaging. Yes, she's got one more Harry Potter movie to do but the girl's gotta get on with her life, don't you think?
Paris Hilton might find today's phrase handy. But I plan to use yesterday's -- "Excuse me, I thought this was supposed to be a luxury gym?" -- later this afternoon, when all those horrifying children start pouring into the local gym's rubber mat area. Being a bitch in Dutch strikes me as potentially more satisfying than being a bitch in Queens English. (And by Queens, I mean the one in New York.)
Guy wants Drumstick. Girl wants Rolo Chocolate Cone. Other girl wants Arrow Chocolate Cone. Guy still wants Drumstick. Guy becomes drumstick. Girls eat him. Guy says, "easy on the nuts." What's not to love?
On June 18 at 5PM at Macy's in San Francisco, Giorgio Armani will unleash a giant poster with a David Beckham image from the Emporio Armani Underwear campaign. Shield your eyes little ones as the big one may be too much for you to handle. That or scrawny Victoria who'll, no doubt, be there to make sure her husband's junk remains her own, might smack you with one of her fake boobs.
Check out The Giant by agency Les Ouvriers du Paradis, possibly the most charming bathroom fairy tale ever. You don't have to speak French to infer why Lotus' Just 1 is the toilet paper of choice for mythically large men.
It's so absorbent, you'll only need one sheet! That's the kind of claim that titillates T.P. abusers like me. (I like to yank generously. It's a habit I'm trying to break.)
I want to argue the spot's more logical in the manner of its pitch than Charmin's squeeze-fetish Whipple spots, but that argument fell to pieces when the giant made with the elongated Lotus-fondling.
To cement its position as a dedicated supporter and sponsor of all sports - not just Olympics and football championships - Hyundai, with help from Duval Guillaume Brussels has launched a new campaign illustrating its support for even the most obscure sports such as dung beetle ball rolling, office waste basketball, pissing and, my favorite, bedroom Olympics.
The original writer of AgencySpy, SuperSpy, has launched Fifth Column, which aims to improve the advertising business by soliciting comments for improvement which will then be sent to the agencies they apply to and, ultimately published for public consumption.
On Advertising Fifth column, formerly anonymous blogger SuperSpy now refers to herself as Sabrina Duncan which, if you do a Google search doesn't help much since all you get are endless listing of Kate Jackson's Charlie's Angel character, Sabrina Duncan.
And, we're off! Cannes has kicked off and the first set of shortlists have been announced for direct, promotion, media, press, outdoor and radio. The lists are long but some favorites are there including the McDonald's Salad billboard. It's all here.