Stamp Out Fun Where It Lives -- Right in the Pancreas! Or the Liver.

Roller skates + ethnic noisemakers = Extreme Clothing Volatility. That's one life lesson I learned at NOLAF (the National Organization for Legislation against Fun), our latest source of advertainment.

NOLAF may sound cheesy and unoriginal (HANDTOSS, anyone?), but it works perfectly as an undemanding time-waster. Here are five reasons why.

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Truth Campaign Continues Broadway Musical-Style Idiocy

It's getting really painful to write about the Truth campaign. It's become so horrifically bad, it makes one want to digitize one's hand, shove it deep inside the internets until it finds the neck of the entity that created this horror show, squeeze really really hard and put the entity out of its misery. You know who you are Arnold and CPB people! Do you seriously believe this stuff is any good? Damn, it makes one wish you'd bring Derek Beckles back!

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iJustine Beats Crap Out of iPhone, Still Works, Ready the New One

iJustine of iPhone bill fame is hyping the new iPhone 3G in a video detailing how much abuse her current iPhone has withstood over the year+ she's owned it. And if you know Justine then you know any phone that can withstand her level of usage is a true test of a product's longevity. So as she continues to drop her phone, she only has one more day to wait until she gets a new one.

Italian Footballer Makes Impossible Shot for Nike

Martina from Adverblog sent in this video she worked on for Nike Football Italy which was directed by Acne and produced by Film Naster. In the video World Cup Italian national team footballer sets up the impossible shot and, with a bit of fancy footwork and intelligent use of physics, makes the shot.

No heavy branding, Just an entertaining shot for those who love the game.

Big Ass Party...Uh...ad-tech Conference Hits Chicago in August

Yes, it's time to pimp ad:tech. This time it's in Chicago and this time, aside from the fact there will be some decent keynotes from Google's Kevin Kells and author Clay Shirky as well as panels with Edelman President Rick Murray, Nielsen Online's Pete Blackshaw, Starcom's Chris Allen, NBC Universal's Peter Naylor and BlogHer's Jory Des Jardins among others, there will be great parties. After all, that's why you go, right? To get drunk and inappropriately fawn all over industry hotties...uh...I mean network with fellow industry colleagues.

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Playboy Capitalizes on Boing Boing Frenzy With Hot Blogger Contest

So in reaction to that stupid move Boing Boing pulled deleting content published on the site by Violet Blue, Playboy thought they'd cash in on the media frenzy by hosting a hottest blogger contest including, of course, Violet Blue herself and Boing Boing's Xeni Jardin among others.

Ariel Waldman, who, herself, was nominated a list of the Top 20 Bloggers We Want To See In Bikinis, points us to the contest in which Sometimes Daily hottie Amanda Congdon battles it out with Tekzilla cutie Veronica Belmont, dirty joke lover Julie Alexandria, video blogging cutie Brigitte Dale, Pop17 babe Sarah Austin, CNET Loaded's beauty Natali Del Conte and...Holy Mad Men boobs!...Business Week's Sarah Lacy of the famed SXSW interview debacle with Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg.

Yes, people, In our world, this is what matters. The hotness quotient. The hotter you are, the more likely you are to succeed in life. OK, so maybe that;s not entirely true but what fun would a list of the top ten bloggers ranked by the number of hard-to-spell, SAT-like words be?

Automated Language Translation Can Yield Humorous Results

No advertisement for a (human-powered) translation service could possibly do a better job than this image of a sign in China that was produced even though, apparently, the automated translation service used failed epically. For those in China who do not speak English, making an error like this is entirely feasible. After all, if the tables were turned, would an\ English speaking person with no knowledge of Chinese language be able to discern the difference between one hieroglyphic-like Chinese symbol over another?

Hey, Kids! Fight Smoking with Sampled Beats.

Fans of the irony-soaked music from the Sunny Side of Truth campaign can now mash them up, courtesy of a new Truth project called "ReMix."

Actual DJs and artists on the spin include Cobra Starship, Diplo, DJ Kaskade, Mix Master MIke and DJ Sega. Users can share tracks via mobile and download a complete album from the link above. So go do that, because you know you love yourself some free shit.

Grassvertising at Wimbledon, Green Patriots in Cleveland, SAG Deluges Idaho, Coca-Cola Rents-a-Blog

- To jazz up its Wimbledon sponsorship, HSBC commissioned two artists to make photographs out of growing grass. Brings a freakish new angle to "watching grass grow."

- Cleveland-based? Go be a patriot. A green patriot.

- Former CEO Carly Fiorina of Hewlett Packard is among the contenders for VP under McCain. George Parker is hella bummed.

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Because Your University Should Affect Your Choice of Razor

Right-slap on the back of the current issue of UC Berkeley's California magazine is an ad for an officially licensed Cal Berkeley Gillette Fusion Power Razor. (That's the one with five blades for your most comfortable shave.)

Feeling nostalgic? Pick the right alma mater Gillette for you!

Damn. They're just giving those licenses away.