OMG! You Have Dork Cling.
It's Dork Dodge! In this RPG game by JC Penney, you're a college girl trying to leave the dorm, where a hot but insecure love interest is waiting. Your job: to emotionally castrate the losers in your way. (Attacking them with items from Penney's Dorm Life line is usually a safe bet.) "Losers" labeled by Penney's include -- but are not limited to -- an incest-friendly hick, a Swedish exchange student, a bodybuilder and a goth.
Don't be too gentle or they'll follow you (dork cling!), thereby destroying your chances of a tasty hook-up forever. In that case, your best option is to ask a friend for help. (Oddly, the friends are as douchey as the men.) And don't dally too long or Mister Bouquet-of-Flowers out there will ditch yo' ass. (He's on a very tight schedule.)
But aww, it's the tech era, and some of these squares are cute. My favourite pick-up line: "Did you know 'NERD' stands for Never-Ending Rendezvous ... with Destiny? Look it up."