OMG! You Have Dork Cling.

dork-dodge.jpg

It’s Dork Dodge! In this RPG game by JC Penney, you’re a college girl trying to leave the dorm, where a hot but insecure love interest is waiting. Your job: to emotionally castrate the losers in your way. (Attacking them with items from Penney’s Dorm Life line is usually a safe bet.) “Losers” labeled by Penney’s include — but are not limited to — an incest-friendly hick, a Swedish exchange student, a bodybuilder and a goth.

Don’t be too gentle or they’ll follow you (dork cling!), thereby destroying your chances of a tasty hook-up forever. In that case, your best option is to ask a friend for help. (Oddly, the friends are as douchey as the men.) And don’t dally too long or Mister Bouquet-of-Flowers out there will ditch yo’ ass. (He’s on a very tight schedule.)

But aww, it’s the tech era, and some of these squares are cute. My favourite pick-up line: “Did you know ‘NERD’ stands for Never-Ending Rendezvous … with Destiny? Look it up.”

Put together by EVB San Francisco. If for some odd reason you’re now into the Penney’s Dorm Life line, see Facebook page. I just love me a furry pink picture frame.

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

RECENT ARTICLES

TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

9 signs someone is kind on the surface but is keeping score

9 signs someone is kind on the surface but is keeping score

Hack Spirit

8 phrases that reveal someone never grew up emotionally, no matter their age

8 phrases that reveal someone never grew up emotionally, no matter their age

Hack Spirit

People who overthink small decisions are often just running them through words first, where most people would rely on instinct

People who overthink small decisions are often just running them through words first, where most people would rely on instinct

Global English Editing

Why the people who still send a thank-you note tend to be remembered longest

Why the people who still send a thank-you note tend to be remembered longest

Hack Spirit

9 things people with a very strong personality do that get mistaken for arrogance

9 things people with a very strong personality do that get mistaken for arrogance

Hack Spirit

How to give feedback to someone who takes everything personally, without softening it into nothing

How to give feedback to someone who takes everything personally, without softening it into nothing

Global English Editing