Shut Up, Stick Out Your Chest and Drool!

jessica_simpson_stampede_light.jpg

Photographer: Jessica, can you unsnap one more button for me?
Jessica: Like this?
P: Yea. Now put your left hand on the bale of hay...
J: What's a bale of hay?
P: Uh...it's that rectangular, straw-like thing...
J: Rectang...oh...like that square thing?
P: No, the rec...never mind. Yea, the square thing.
J: Like this?
P: Yea. Now lean left, sit up straight and stick your chest out.
J: You want to see my boobs?
P: Well, yes....uh...sorry...I mean no. I mean I...yea...no...just some cleavage.
J: Is this good?
P: Just a little bit more?
J: But the next button might pop open..wouldn't that be too much boob?
P: Girl, there's no such thing as too much boob...except this is an ad...not a Playboy shoot.
J: They're 34D, you know

P: Um, yes. We all know. Your father made that quite clear a while back
J: Hehe...he's weird like that
P: OK, now stare right at the lens..
J: The what?
P: Then lens...the camera!
J: Oh, the camera...sorry...OK. Like this?
P: Yea...now open your mouth a bit
J: ...ike...his...
P: and yea...now pretend you're about to fall asleep
J: You want me to fall asleep?
P: Not actually...just pretend
J: Um...how do I do that?
P: Just sort of close your eyes a bit...but not all the way...
J: Like this?
P: Yea. Now...Ooops...keep sticking out your chest.
J: Hehe...you like my boobs, don't you? I can tell.
P: Um. Hmm...let's just keep working...
J: But I can see...
P: Jessica....
J: Hehe...ok...sorry...stick my boobs out?
P: Yes
J: Like this?
P: Yes
J: Can you see enough of my boobs"
P: Yes, Jessica. Perfect. Now the look...
J: The look?
P: Jessica!
J: Oh right. Sorry. The falling asleep look. But what about the mouth?
P: OK, think of it like this. Ever see a baby sort of stare into space and drool?
J: Ew...yes.
P: Do that.
J: Huh?
P: Imagine you are a baby drooling.
J: Gross!
P: Believe me, the look will be great
J: But babies don't have boobs!
P: Well you do, girl. Big ones...according to your father. Now shut up, stick your tits out and drool!

by Steve Hall    Aug-20-08   Click to Comment   
Topic: Campaigns, Celebrity   

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Comments



Comments

Sanitized version of the original blog post title? Steve, are you being oppressed by pressure from "the man?"

Posted by: Patchchord on August 20, 2008 10:05 PM

no really - i don't get it!

Posted by: nile on August 20, 2008 11:09 PM


Nope --you lost it right at the start. That's not her left hand on the bale of hay.

What do I win?

Posted by: B on August 21, 2008 12:54 PM

Whoops. I'm an idiot who can't distinguish between "tablecloth on a leg posing as some sort of skirt" and "bale of hay". Sorry...

I blame the thumbnail. ;)

Posted by: B on August 21, 2008 12:57 PM

:-) Those thumbnails can be clicked. Click and see what happens:-)

Posted by: Steve Hall on August 21, 2008 1:09 PM

Yeah, I know / knew. Thanks. In this case when clicked she just gets bigger and dumber. :)

Posted by: B on August 21, 2008 3:33 PM

Yuk. No connection between the idea and the execution. Not bothered at all by the cleavage (there's nothing to see) but by the dumbness on the face.

Posted by: Rachel on August 22, 2008 7:57 AM

OOOH I LOVE THEM AND WOULD LOVE TO SEE MORE,AND OF JESSICA TOO!(HA HA)

Posted by: JEFF on August 22, 2008 11:42 AM

OOOH I LOVE THEM AND WOULD LOVE TO SEE MORE,AND OF JESSICA TOO!(HA HA)

Posted by: JEFF on August 22, 2008 11:42 AM

OOOH I LOVE THEM AND WOULD LOVE TO SEE MORE,AND OF JESSICA TOO!(HA HA)

Posted by: JEFF on August 22, 2008 11:43 AM







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