June 10, 2007: We never thought we'd tire of the millions of erectile dysfunction spoofs that have found there way to us but we finally have. It's just not that much fun anymore to listen to a fake voice over drone on about 36 hour erections while a dude walks around with a big dick prop sticking out of hin his pants. Except, of course, when that dick prop and closing elevator doors are in the same scene and the spoof stars Cuba Gooding Jr.
February 24, 2006: OK, we finally get it. This Pigs Anonymous thing. To promote the Advertising Women of New York's Good, Bad & Ugly Awards, Lowe created a site that calls men pigs. Oh but wait. We don't think anything's wrong with it. After all, men have been calling women bitches hoes and sluts for years. Payback's a bitch.
Certainly, you've all noticed how men have to be the stupid one in all commercials now, right? That's payback for all they years men made women stand in front their refrigerator glorifying it as if it were some sort of Godlike orgasmatron needed because no man gave a crap about a woman having an orgasm in the fifties.
December 6, 2007: Hey kids! Guess what? If you study hard and get good grades, guess what you'll get? No, not a college scholarship, sillys. That would be too boring. No, if you get good grades on your report card, you'll get a Happy Meal coupon on the card that you can use to get fat...uh...have a free lunch.
Yea, people, you read that right. In-school advertising's idiocy has spread to report cards. Yes, report cards. For covering the paltry $1,600 printing cost of Seminole County Florida's 2007-2008 report cards, McDonald's was able to place the coupon on the report cards of kids who received all A's and B's. Yes, you also read that right. Only smart kids are allowed to get fat.
May 6, 2007: With the simple but true tagline, "The Faster the Speed, the Bigger the Mess," this :60, launched April 26, from Ireland's Road Safety Authority and Northern Ireland's Department of Environment delivers a powerful but simple message: The faster the speed, the bigger the mess. Entitled "Mess," the commercial is born from statistics that find 30 percent of Republic of Ireland and 24 percent of Northern Ireland road fatalities are due to excessive speed. The spot is part of an increasing trend towards the use of reality-based shock and brutal honesty to deliver the message.
April 8, 2008: With a link like slinkyfoxvideo.com (dead link. now here) and a red lingerie-clad, girl-next-door hottie like the one in this video, viewership is almost guaranteed. Here at Adrants, we've seen a lot of videos used to promote all sorts of things. A lot of them. Most of them terrible. This, though, is one of the best. One could argue it's just another trashy sex-sells piece of crap but one would be wrong. The content of the video is directly related to what's pitched at the end of the video and it's wonderfully done.
In what appears to be nothing more than slapping the Green label on Bank of America's Keep the Change program, Citizens Bank has launched the Green$ense Campaign which pays customers ten cents for every electronic transaction they make but only up to $10 per month and $120 per year. Even without the facade of "greenery, Bank of America gives up to $250 per year with its program. And people don't even have to be green to get the $250.
Of course it's all to motivate people to bank electronically which uses less paper which, yes, is an admirable "green" effort. But, seriously, the real reason any bank would motivate its customers to bank electronically is to cut overhead (by hiring fewer tellers) and increase profit.
With cutesy headlines like "Being eco-friendly just got eco-nomical" and "The environment is like a bank account. Every little bit helps," the campaign rolls out in print, radio, outdoor and television.
If you've been reading Adrants for a while or if you've worked in the ad business for more than a day, you are well aware sex plays a big role in advertising. You are probably also aware, or should be, the phrase "sex sells" really isn't all that true all the time.
While everyone likes to create a hot ad featuring hot people who spew endless double entendres every once in a while, it's not always the right direction to take for every brand and target audience. Many times a sex-laced ad can turn people off and do more harm than good to the brand.
Keepin' It Realtor, a blog devoted to rewarding realtors for being true ground-floor creatives, is objectively awesome, if only because you've sat one too many times on the face of a grinning stranger who's plastered himself all over your park bench.
I used to be partial to the "great wings" guy, but Mr. Lamb at left really takes all. Wondering whether realtor ads grow more conservative -- or just more insane -- as the economy whirls down the porcelain funnel.
Vans partnered with FunMobility to disseminate all kinds of "Off the Wall" crap for your phone. Most of it is free, because all of it is an elaborate ploy to get your cell phone number, zip code and gender.
Following their Tuesday debate, both Obama and McCain's campaigns have released ads riffing off something the other person said. Well, that's not completely true. Both ads appear to revolve entirely around Obama, actually.
I don't know about you, but as a wee lass I yearned for the hip style advice that only Ford (the car company, not the modeling firm) could give me.
Responding to these dormant desires, Ford Fiesta is launching an e-zine called Neon Candy, "an uber-cool digital magazine set to feature the latest trends in music, style, movies and culture every young woman should know."
The 'zine includes a web drama profiling the fictional Jen, a journalist desperate to ride the cutting edge of pop culture. Wait, isn't that the plot to Almost Famous -- and every essay ever written by Chuck Klosterman?
Neon Candy is UK-based and, confusingly, comes fast on the heels of Tango at the Tower, when Fiesta strained to associate itself with love.
- Doritos is holding another CGM contest for the Super Bowl. Ooh, but there's a twist: win $1 million if your spot becomes the FIRST EVAR! consumer-generated ad to take No. 1 in USA Today's Ad Meter. (Here's what won last year.) Entries welcome 'til November 16.
The UK's Hallmark Channel and agency Ralph are promoting series nine of Law & Order: SVU with an online stress test. (Not to be confused with any such test you might have taken on a subway.)
Find out what it's like to operate as an undercover cop. You'll have something like five seconds to memorize a criminal profile, then you have to watch clips -- on which you'll be tested -- while pushing Space Bar to the sound of a pulse.
We were groggy when we did it, which I guess is no excuse; we fared horribly and are utterly unqualified to bust rapists for a living. Well, there goes my back-up career.