Danica Patrick Reluctantly Lives Out Every B-Porn Fantasy. Ever.


In its latest abuse of its sponsorship, and our eyeballs, GoDaddy sticks racer Danica Patrick in another situational porno-to-be: after pulling her over for speeding, a blonde cop -- bless her heart -- starts stripping down to show Danica she has what it takes to join her horde of URL-buying ad wenches.

Always a team player, Danica fakes it like this whole thing is mildly uncomfortable for her. The ad cuts out in typical GoDaddy fashion; you'll have to see the rest on the homepage after May 24th.

Past Patricksploitation: Danica baring beaver, Danica showers on command (complete with hot grade school teacher!), Danica confesses to enhancements.

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by Angela Natividad    May-22-09    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Commercials, Sponsorship, Video

Imagine if Everyone Saved On Your Phone Was a Crayon.


Wouldn't you be bummed if all those contacts melted, their ability to bring waxy bright colour to your life lost to you forever?

Of course you would. That's why you should download My Contacts Backup, a US Cellular offering, for free.

Such is the logic of "Crayon" -- simple and pretty, if a little counterintuitive. Work by Publicis & Hal Riney/SF for US Cellular. Production by Biscuit; post-production by Arsenal FX.

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by Angela Natividad    May-22-09    
Topic: Brands, Commercials, Promotions, Television

Reason #34958409 Why You Should Burn Home Videos Pre-Dating '95


Director Nir Bashan of Reactor Films/LA just sent us its latest work for AquaNet, one of those unfortunate brands whose persona is condemned to retro.

Leveraging that, Reactor -- in tandem with Buck Productions -- busts out with what looks like early-'90s footage of two kids with Highly Unfortunate Hair, lip-syncing to Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby.

It tickles.*

Where are these guys now? It doesn't seem right to laugh at a contemporary's childhood trauma without the victims sitting here, in the flesh, fighting to maintain composure.

Tagline reads "AquaNet: Keeping it stiff since 1991." We're treated to one last finger-pose before the video cuts. Fucking rad.

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by Angela Natividad    May-22-09    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Video

Cree Lures Beautiful People Out of Fluorescent-Bathed Purgatory


Cree taps into the desolation that comes with spending most of your life under office light, which has a special way of making everything look aggressively bland: an atmosphere that first suppresses you before driving you to violent insanity.

To a melancholy melody, casualties of cogdom are depicted in a languishing state, broken by words whose candidness, whose charm, coincide perfectly with an uplifting chorus: "There's so much beauty in the world. Just not in your office."

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by Angela Natividad    May-22-09    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Commercials, Good, Television

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Visine Wrings Fresh Tears from Fairy-Tale Captive


Mix the charm of The Elves and the Shoemaker with the Napoleonic Lilliputians of Gulliver's Travels and you've got "Kitchen," the print piece by JWT/NY for Johnson & Johnson's Visine.

The visual relates a myth about how all those tears get inside a wee bottle of Visine. Look closely: tireless miniature men conduct tear-gathering work around the frozen face and body of a glassy-eyed woman of normal size. Cut onions litter the table before her; elsewhere, tiny labourers bear buckets. One leans over a giant funnel and pours the harvested fluid into a Visine container.

"Natural tears formula. Don't ask how," the piece reads, crimson scrawl on a well-worn hanky.

Dark and beguiling, like good fairy tales often are.

by Angela Natividad    May-22-09    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Good, Magazine

Possibly the Best Climate Change Awareness Video Ever


Cannes Young Lions competition entries for client Oxfam Great Britain have been mixed -- and the stuff we've seen has been wince-worthy, running the "Horrors!" gamut from complete mundanity to gratuitous panty-dancing violence.

That all changes with "Douchebag Pie," arguably the greatest climate change awareness ad for Generation: YouTube ever created.

And if it singlehandedly brings the word "douchebag" to the French lexicon, then all the better.

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