Canadian Literacy Group Illustrates Frustration of Being 'Stuck'

This moving spot entitled "Stuck" for the ABC CANADA Literacy Foundation goes out of its way to get serious about adult illiteracy. The piece illustrates a fast-moving world in which a highlighted few seem suspended in time.

Great way to demonstrate that with limited or no reading skills, you can only get so far. Subtlety is indeed king.

Created by ACLC, Toronto.

Sharpies Cuts Through Crap, Gets to Point

Sometimes a well-written, polite letter just doesn't cut it. It certain times, what's needed is the purest, most unfiltered expression of thought and what better devive to transfer that blunt thought to a piece of paper than a big 'ol sharpie. In a new Brand Buzz-created campaign, that's exactly the message. There's no need to waste time with fancy words when you can quickly scrawl out your thoughts with a Sharpie.

A collection of :15's broke February 19 on national cable and print will hit March issues of Better Homes & Garden, Family Fun, Parents, People, Sports Illustrated, Martha Stewart Living, Redbook and Oprah.

See the ads here, here, here and here.

Kraft Encourages Naughty Microwave Habits with Site for Co-Eds

Aware of the average college student's ongoing state of starvation, Kraft puts together University of St. Arvin, where users can auto-generate depressed letters to parents and otherwise scam their way into some Easy Mac.

Our memories of dorm room subsistence are vivid and not very pleasant. We haven't touched Easy Mac since. But even if processed insta-food is behind us, microwaving stuff that shouldn't be microwaved is not.

We're glad we've been given the opportunity to experience this small pleasure from the safety of our own monitors. What can't a computer do for you today?

Vitali Domesticates Gay Marriage

In support of equal marriage rights, agency Young & Rubicam, Chicago join forces with director Max Vitali of HSI Productions. The resulting smile-coaxing spots crush the notion gays will do nothing but cross-dress and debauch if permitted to marry.

The series comically emphasizes the familiar and occasionally frustrating domesticity we all experience after a given amount of time with our partners. We also dig the candid tagline, "Gay marriage is just like yours. Only gay."

Thus inspired we thought it would be nifty to add "Adrants is just like you. Only sexaaaaaay" to all future marketing efforts. We find it catchy.

Descente Really Cuts to the Chase

Protect Your Penis, shout an otherwise boring-looking set of banner ads.

How do you not click? The following page hit us with massive text reading, "I'm not a real doctor, but I still care about your genitals." The message is flanked by a studious guy in a deceptively doctorish coat, smirking at us.

An elderly stranger expressing interest in our genitals is generally cause for alarm (we are modest, after all) but somehow these ads for Descente bicycle shorts just rub us the right way.

Like Mike at BRILF, we think Descente should take the campaign to the big leagues: virals, podcasts, medical information, what-have-you. If much ado can be made about male cramps, then by gad this too can join the ranks of the mushrooming pseudo-pharma community of advertising! Factory Design Labs is the proud penis presenter of this campaign.

Sexual Fantasies And Orgiastic Exclamations Warn of AIDS

Shalmor Avnon Amichay / Y&R has created a new campaign for the Israeli AIDS Task Force which seeks to remind us AIDS is still out there doing its thing killing, to date, 25 million people. After seeing one of the spots in the campaign, Oh My God, the next time you say "Oh my God" during a certain activity, you might be reminded of a less than desirable association between that exclamation and the orgiastic intensity you meant to associate with it.

The second spot, Fantasy, asks you to envision your favorite sexual fantasy; a threesome, by candle light, a quickie in the morning, with a virgin, as part of an orgy, from behind...all while assaulting you with images of death in the form of gravestones. Hmm. Another association we'd rather leave behind. But, we won't because we know the message is important.

PETA 2 Baits Visitors with Bonsai Kitten Reference

We don't know if PETA 2 is actually PETA-funded or an independent group seeking to affiliate itself closely and confusingly with the pro-animal-rights giant, but we visited their site after seeing a Gmail text ad that said "Shut Down Bonsai Kitten. You can help shut them down by signing the petition now!"

This amused us because we haven't thought of Bonsai Kitten in years. But upon hitting the PETA 2 link, we found no Bonsai Kitten references anywhere. And we seriously trolled the site.

This is when we realized we were cleverly tricked. And while they were busy hyping the merits of Facebooking PETA allegiance and asking what Jesus would do for the chickens, they were not going to give us Bonsai Kitten.

While we're actually really bummed about that, kudos to them for getting us to click-and-dig. And the use of a Bonsai Kitten reference, of all things? Pure genius.

We only wish there was actually something Bonsai Kitten-related on the site so we wouldn't feel so jipped. If you happen to find something, do link. This might affect the quality of our day.

Dolphin, Man Face Off in Epic Battle for Fish Sandwiches

Because our lives won't be complete without that next filet-o-fish, and because pesky dolphins always seem to be snatching them away from us right before our consummate bite, McDonald's brings us Dolphin vs. Man.

Dallas-based Moroch Partners are to blame for this follow-up to last year's "Sharkbait" game. This campaign features two new games that we actually kind of like: "Ocean Commotion" and "Aquatic Tennis."

It never occurred to us that the zany hijinks of dolphins may get in the way of our one goal: ongoing consumption of an undersized, occasionally stiff filet, the lukewarm bun that falls apart in our hands, delightfully soggy lettuce, and - lest we forget - that tartar-ish sauce.

Heaven help. If we weren't so busy suiting up to destroy dolphins at tennis, we'd serenade.

If somehow the filet-o-fish just ain't intense enough, we'll fast remind you that there's also a limited-edition double filet-o-fish available, which this promo also highlights. Try not to cream yourself at this very moment.

Ad Hugs, Bank Babbles, Heineken Spends, Starbucks Wonders, Starcom Wins

- Now here's an ad that really reaches out and touches you.

- Oh God. All we need is another meaningless marketing buzzword that capitalizes on yet another new trend.

- Just in time to comment of CareerBuilder's idiotic "firing" of its agency comes this Forrester report which claims marketers love to place blame on agencies but can't back it up with any sort of "failure metrics."

- Heineken has $70 million to spend but it's unclear who they'll spend it with.

- Starbucks' CEO laments some of the streamlining changes he's made and ponders its affect on the brand.

- What? Again? Starcom nabs Advertsing Age's Media Agency of the Year nod.

- Joe Jaffe is finishing his follow-up to "Life after the 30-second spot", titled "Join the Conversation: How to engage marketing-weary consumers with the power of community, dialogue and partnership and he needs your input for a survey he's doing on Conversational Marketing that will be a topic in the upcoming book. He's looking for brand marketers to complete the survey. Lend him a hand.

- Furniture retailer Levitz has signed on as a major sponsor of HomeTeam, the nationally syndicated weekly TV show that helps people become homeowners.

Poker Gets Serious. Loses Sex, Bootie, Streakers, Cows, Lingerie

Here's a refreshingly new approach to online poker advertising. Rather than strangely dressed booth babes, sex-laced silliness, strippers with surprise endings, politically stylized bootie, potentially removed fingers, branded streakers (1, 2), lingerie-clad pillow fighters and painted cows, we have serious poker players actually playing serious poker. Who knew? Full Tilt Poker knows and, in a new campaign created by WongDoody, it leaves all the silliness behind.

Rather than treat poker as some sort of game for retards (can't wait to see who emails me on that slur), the campaign elevates the game to what it is: a game of strategy, intelligence, intensity and skill. The eight television spots in the campaign were directed by filmmaker Errol Morris who helmed The Thin Blue Line and Fog of War. A supporting print campaign accompanies the television effort.