Enlarged Ego? Patchy Facial Hair? Plain Awkward? Adrantsarax May Be Right for You

This is awesome!

For client Cedra, Door Number 3/Austin put together Get Your Drug On. It confirms a suspicion we've had for years: that making a drug, or at least the ads for a drug, is as easy as Mad Libs.

Also, gotta love that waiting room music.

Twix Tears One Out of the 'Choose Your Own Adventure' Playbook

Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books that pretty much let you decide whether you'd die two, or twenty, pages into the story? Visit Twix.com for a grown-man version of the game. You won't get to ride any unicorns, but if you're lucky, you might get to ride something else.

The adventure is called "Get the Girl." The protagonist convinces a girl to come home with him by inviting her over to blog about the media. (That gets me every time.) But there are obstacles! Mull your options over with Twix. (Helpful hint: at the very end, pick "Be honest." You'll dig what happens.)

Accompanying spot: "Oh, blogging! I love blogging!"

Trojan Vibrating Touch to Solve Ad Conference Boredom

Oh look! Trojan really does care how women feel during sex. Oh sure, they make all kinds of ribbed condoms and stuff but if a lady's man can't last long enough for all that ribbed goodness to do its thing, it's all kind of pointless. Enter Trojan Vibrating Touch, a battery-powered finger widget that delivers...um...personalized pleasure and is pretty much guaranteed to last as long as it takes...unlike the aforementioned male-powered method of stimulation.

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Guy Asks Girls to be Careful With His Nuts

Guy wants Drumstick. Girl wants Rolo Chocolate Cone. Other girl wants Arrow Chocolate Cone. Guy still wants Drumstick. Guy becomes drumstick. Girls eat him. Guy says, "easy on the nuts." What's not to love?

Lotus Toilet Paper Absorbs More than Its Fair Share of Moisture

Check out The Giant by agency Les Ouvriers du Paradis, possibly the most charming bathroom fairy tale ever. You don't have to speak French to infer why Lotus' Just 1 is the toilet paper of choice for mythically large men.

It's so absorbent, you'll only need one sheet! That's the kind of claim that titillates T.P. abusers like me. (I like to yank generously. It's a habit I'm trying to break.)

I want to argue the spot's more logical in the manner of its pitch than Charmin's squeeze-fetish Whipple spots, but that argument fell to pieces when the giant made with the elongated Lotus-fondling.

Even Pissing and Sex Are Considered Sports by Hyundai

To cement its position as a dedicated supporter and sponsor of all sports - not just Olympics and football championships - Hyundai, with help from Duval Guillaume Brussels has launched a new campaign illustrating its support for even the most obscure sports such as dung beetle ball rolling, office waste basketball, pissing and, my favorite, bedroom Olympics.

Check out all the ads here.

Former AgencySpy Writer Aims to Improve Ad Biz With Fifth Column

The original writer of AgencySpy, SuperSpy, has launched Fifth Column, which aims to improve the advertising business by soliciting comments for improvement which will then be sent to the agencies they apply to and, ultimately published for public consumption.

On Advertising Fifth column, formerly anonymous blogger SuperSpy now refers to herself as Sabrina Duncan which, if you do a Google search doesn't help much since all you get are endless listing of Kate Jackson's Charlie's Angel character, Sabrina Duncan.

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Mentos Continues Kiss Fetish With Kiss Fight

Unless you''re into rough play or S&M, fighting and kissing usually don't go together. Unless, of course, the fighting and kissing take place during Mentos' Kiss Fight. So if you're bored, like to repeatedly press your keyboard's arrow keys or just didn't get it on they way you thought you would with that hottie of your dreams this weekend, have a go at Kiss Fight and get your kissing needs met.

It's a little less sick than Mentos' earlier effort, Kiss Cam. But not much.

Dude, Children Are Serious Athletes!

Playing against the somewhat limiting squeaky clean image the International Children's Games has, Grey SF came up with a campiagn that makes kids look at bit more...hmm...Dennis Rodman. Cuz, well, who wants to see a perfect Limited Too kid with Hannah Montana sneakers when you can see kids with tattoos, soccer ball heads and ears pierced with golf clubs?

Grey Creative Director said, "Once people heard about the idea, help came from all over. World-renowned photographer Jill Greenberg joined the team. Then the free media poured in with billboards, wildpostings, bus shelters, and posters. But best of all, the kids ate it up. So much so, we offered free haircuts and henna tattoos to any kid who wanted one, turning hundreds of kids into walking billboards."

Nothing wrong with a bit of kid-powered viral marketing. See the other two ads here and here.

Comcast Retires Slowskys In Favor of Turbine Rabbit Thingy

Created by Goodby, Silverstein & Partners and directed by Biscuit's Noam Murro, Comcast has ditched the Slowsky turrtles in favor of some hyped up, freaked out, genetically fucked with rabbit with jet turbines strapped on its back driven by an over-caffeinated kook all to,...ya know...illustrate how fast Comcast internet is. I like.