"Why in hell do people still try to make candy in potentially phallic-looking shapes? You'd think they would have learned by now....."
It's definitely a mystery worth pondering. Adrants reader Candace sent over this rawkin' shot of Hannah Montana's Concert Candy. The packaging features our Lolita du jour holding a mic up to her mouth while a giant gummy guitar comes at her from the left.
"Guitar and microphone shapes!" the package boasts, but that guitar doesn't look all that guitar-like, and I don't think the gummy mics will help either.
At left: featured ad on my MySpace today. I like how, after scaring the warmth out of your cockles, it takes the ultra-subtle "click here for tips!" approach.
Click-thru brings you here. I'm guessing the ad is for Celebrity Sexy Teeth, because it's the only product on the list I've never actually heard of, and it happens to be number one, and there's even a handy-dandy illustration on how you (yes, YOU!) can access a hidden discount link on the site.
Suspicions are confirmed upon scrolling to the bottom of the site, where Celebrity Sexy Teeth is promoted once more for good measure alongside this subtle arm-twister: "For women wanting to enhance their appearance, a good teeth whitener is a must!"
But I thought Mr. Right, and my ass-pinching boss, would love me no matter what I looked like?
AMC didn't take too kindly to the onslaught of Mad Men characters appearing on Twitter and sent a Digital Millenium Copyright Act take down notice asking Twitter to remove @Don_Draper and @PeggyOlsen. The accounts are currently suspended. There are other accounts on Twitter for the Mad Men characters Roger Sterling, Pete Campbell, Joan Holloway, Paul Kinsey, Sal Romano, Bertram Cooper and Bobbie Barrett. Many are still active though @joan_halloway has recently been suspended as well.
AMC was not behind the appearance of the characters on Twitter but its legal maneuverings may go down as the single worst use (misuse?) of social media. One of the characters, @paul_kinsey, was created by Mario Parise. When he created the account, he immediately contacted AMC to tell them what he was doing and if they had any problem, he'd immediately cancel the account. AMC never contacted him; it chose instead to take the legal route.
A commenter on Radar summed up the apparent strategy behind a new FFL Paris-created ad campaign for Wrangler, writing, "So let's connect the dots here - Wranglers are worn by cowboys. Cowboys like to shoot things. People who shoot things go hunting. People hunt animals. People are animals. Therefore, we shall all wear Wranglers and go headhunting."
With the tagline "We Are Animals," the campaign's images, shot by the oh so uber-hip photographer Ryan McGinley, depict women in the wild in various states of undress hunted, well, like animals. There's a video too.
Somehow, this high concept is supposed to sell jeans. Mostly, it's just pissing people off. In reality, it's just bad advertising that's trying to pass itself off as high art.
See all the "high art" here.
See the new Colorado Lottery spot by Cactus. It promised instant fun but didn't deliver, although the spot probably would've been mildly amusing if it weren't buttressed by a threat to hit us with talent fees if we host the goddamn ad and don't take it down by October 6.
Fucking wet blankets.
Because Coke's My Coke Rewards was performing dismally, some employees - all of whom were expressly forbidden at the outset - were asked to participate in the brand's My Coke rewards online promotions. Seemingly to boost activity on the site, the request seems to have backfired for employees who exceeded a pre-set limit of 2,000 points.
When one employee, Frank Grant, who did what he was told and participated in the program noticed he had accumulated more than 2,000 points and was made aware of the 2,000 point limit - likely buried deep within the fine print, he offered to return the merchandise he acquired from his points. Sounds fair enough, right? Wrong. Rather than rectify the situation in a normal fashion, Coke told Grant to resign or face getting fired. According to the Vellejo Times, many other employees faced the same situation.
Under "From" name "Work with Google," Cassabananawide.com is pushing the following spam-tastic email pitch: "Have you heard? People are using their computers to make $1,000's every week with Google!" The headline is flanked by the glowing image of a blonde giving an ecstatic male laptop-junkie a shoulder massage.
I love how it says "No product required" right next to an image of the software container, which features a prominent Google logo and that same picture of the girl giving a massage. What's that all about?
The call to action: "Yes please rush me my Google
happy ending software!"
Live in New York City? You're an asshole according to Windows Casino which has created an game called Torch Runner. In the game, an Olympic torch carrier must navigate his way past squirt guns and fire hydrants which threaten to extinguish the flame and avoid cars which threaten to, well, kill the torch bearer. Is this any way to treat a global sporting event which brings the people of the world together? Say what you will about Chinese politics but the Olympics aren't (or shouldn't be) about politics.
Rather than play this lame ass game, everyone should go watch Matt Harding dance his way around the world. Now that's much more akin to the spirit (at least in intent) of the Olympics.
The creators of this Mini John Cooper video must have been watching all those fake Nike videos while concepting. This joke is so lame and so stupid, it's amazing those charged with approving it didn't simultaneously barf and yawn at the same time. Even stupid people know the physics of this would kill the guy (and/or break the board) before anyone got off the ground.
Stupid trick videos are funny. But they have to be at least a tiny bit believable to work. And can we stop with the psuedo-amateurish, wobbly camera stuff? Even a five year old with a Flip video can hold a camera more steadily than the idiot who filmed this disaster.
Last week, we were sent a funny ad from AMV BBDO in which Mr. T guns down a speedwalker because it's just too goofy for Mr. T's style and, seemingly, for Snickers. Bob Garfield just reviewed it, gave it zero stars and called the thing...huh...homophobic? What a minute. What the fuck? Homophobic?? I'll be the first one to crap on an ad that is overtly homophobic but, seriously, WTF?? This is the furthest thing from homophobic. Homophobia NEVER crossed my mind when I reviewed this.