Talking Furniture Insures Ad Industry's Survival


For even more horrific consumer-generated idiocy, be sure to check out's video contest in which people create videos that explain why they should win the $10,000 furniture makeover "through the eyes of their furniture." Make it stop. Please. Make it stop!

by Steve Hall    May- 7-08    
Topic: Consumer Created, Worst

Anachronistic Truth Campaign Commercial Gets Blank Stare


Continuing its illogical idiocy, the Truth campaign has dredged up yet another decades old quote from a "tobacco company executive" who is now likely dead if not certainly retired. This executive, in response to a claim smoking cigarettes during pregnancy can lead to low birth weight said, "...some women would prefer smaller babies."

This is idiotic on so many levels. First, it's an anachronism from 1971. Times have changed and no human with a brain in their head would ever say that today. If this ad ran in 1971, it would make sense. Today, it's a complete disconnect. Attempting to slam a tobacco company for something someone said 37 years ago is just stupid. Second, maybe women did and still do want smaller babies. After all, who really wants to squeeze out a 15 pound fattie? Maybe the guy was repeating something he heard while drunk at a cocktail party and it was taken totally out of context.

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by Steve Hall    May- 6-08    
Topic: Campaigns, Cause, Commercials, Worst

Hillary Gets Support From...Last Surviving Supporter


So here's one of those things that's so bad it's good or, well, perhaps it's just so bad it's just bad. You decide. Here's a dude who's portrayed as the last supporter of Hillary Clinton as the convention nears. Obama Girl he is not. Newsgroper's great at the fake blog thing but it's not so clear they're all that good at making spoofish video. Sorry guys. That's just how we see it.

Hey wait. We get it. It's supposed to suck! Genius! Brilliant! Awesome! The last standing Clinton supporter is a buffoonish emo idiot who can't lick and ice cream cone without getting it all over his face.

by Steve Hall    May- 5-08    
Topic: Good, Political, Video, Worst

Why Would Anyone Jump Through Hoops to 'Experience' Your Ad?


Check out this Jack Daniel's racing effort at your own risk. It'll appropriate your screen with its king-sized pop-up, deluge you with laggage and in some cases make you download software you don't want. And you STILL have to enter your birthdate.

All this to learn more about Jack Daniel's sticker-strewn Impala SS? No-bloody-thank-you.

You need either big balls or a life-changing message to force somebody through all this nonsense. And frankly, my life feels roughly the same.

by Angela Natividad    May- 2-08    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Online, Sponsorship, Worst

What Ho, a New Orbitz Game!


This one is called "Bing Bing." It's as sucky as the last one we played, but "Bing Bing" has comedic value: In lieu of traditional arcade sounds, a goofy recorded voice goes "Bing ... bing!" every time you smack into something.

by Angela Natividad    Apr-29-08    
Topic: Brands, Games, Online, Worst

Starbucks Fights Corporate Swelling with More Corporate Crap


Early today Advertising Age ripped into Starbucks for its Pike Place coupons and throwback cups (in stores for six weeks, a barista told us). All part of an ongoing attempt to rekindle stale sparks with a costly ($100 million) promotional campaign, which is looking more Grocery Chain -- and less Indie Cafe -- by the minute.

Once upon a time, I loved Starbucks more than my hypothetical Firstborn-to-Be. It'll take a lot more than a buttery homebrew and gaudy vouchers to rein in the trouble of a brand that's just become too commercial.

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by Angela Natividad    Apr-21-08    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Opinion, Promotions, Worst

You Wish, Microsoft.


We love internal propaganda. The thing is, Microserf or otherwise, nobody feels this way about Vista. NOBODY. And if they did, they damn well wouldn't rock out like it's 1999.

I'm in the ad:tech press room watching this video (thanks, MTLB), and the guy next to me -- a writer for VentureBeat -- just burst out laughing. "I just finished watching that right now," he said. "Oh man. I need to go lie down."

Every time the room gets a little quiet, he starts laughing uncontrollably all over again.

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by Angela Natividad    Apr-19-08    
Topic: Brands, Strange, Video, Worst

Next Cockroach You See, Shake the Raid and Think Zoo York


Ugh. Watch some street hoods spray paint Zoo York's logo on roaches, then shower them onto people in the Manhattan business district.

And here, in a concept slightly more benign, one roach calls another a "no-good cocksucking piece of shit asshole douche."

Nice one. Gotta use it some time, possibly on one of the bustier interns. And in other news, what the fucking-fuck-FUCK?

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by Angela Natividad    Apr- 3-08    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Commercials, Television, Video, Worst

Google Might Axe 300 DoubleClick Jobs, Mostly Stateside, and Shafts Performics


With its acquisition of DoubleClick finally secure, Google gets down to the more controversial part of not being evil: axing a shit-ton of jobs.

As of today Google started making with the mass lay-offs. The New York Times says it's possible 300 could go, but the GOOG ain't all bad; it's softening the blow by giving a few chumps "transitional" roles, which means you get to transition-the-hell-out after the two big ships become one.

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by Angela Natividad    Apr- 2-08    
Topic: Brands, Events, Online, Worst

'Fetch' Didn't Happen. Neither Will 'Shmmom'


The movie American Pie made the term MILF famous. You hear it everywhere. Even where you shouldn't like in kid's movies. Somehow we don't think the same will happen with the term Shmmom or Smoking Hot Minivan Mom. Yea, we know. It's a mouthful. Leave it to a local car dealer to think up this crap.

by Steve Hall    Mar-17-08    
Topic: Commercials, Strange, Worst

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