Why Would Anyone Jump Through Hoops to 'Experience' Your Ad?

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Check out this Jack Daniel's racing effort at your own risk. It'll appropriate your screen with its king-sized pop-up, deluge you with laggage and in some cases make you download software you don't want. And you STILL have to enter your birthdate.

All this to learn more about Jack Daniel's sticker-strewn Impala SS? No-bloody-thank-you.

You need either big balls or a life-changing message to force somebody through all this nonsense. And frankly, my life feels roughly the same.

by Angela Natividad    May- 2-08    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Online, Sponsorship, Worst



What Ho, a New Orbitz Game!

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This one is called "Bing Bing." It's as sucky as the last one we played, but "Bing Bing" has comedic value: In lieu of traditional arcade sounds, a goofy recorded voice goes "Bing ... bing!" every time you smack into something.

by Angela Natividad    Apr-29-08    
Topic: Brands, Games, Online, Worst



Starbucks Fights Corporate Swelling with More Corporate Crap

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Early today Advertising Age ripped into Starbucks for its Pike Place coupons and throwback cups (in stores for six weeks, a barista told us). All part of an ongoing attempt to rekindle stale sparks with a costly ($100 million) promotional campaign, which is looking more Grocery Chain -- and less Indie Cafe -- by the minute.

Once upon a time, I loved Starbucks more than my hypothetical Firstborn-to-Be. It'll take a lot more than a buttery homebrew and gaudy vouchers to rein in the trouble of a brand that's just become too commercial.

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by Angela Natividad    Apr-21-08    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Opinion, Promotions, Worst



You Wish, Microsoft.

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We love internal propaganda. The thing is, Microserf or otherwise, nobody feels this way about Vista. NOBODY. And if they did, they damn well wouldn't rock out like it's 1999.

I'm in the ad:tech press room watching this video (thanks, MTLB), and the guy next to me -- a writer for VentureBeat -- just burst out laughing. "I just finished watching that right now," he said. "Oh man. I need to go lie down."

Every time the room gets a little quiet, he starts laughing uncontrollably all over again.

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by Angela Natividad    Apr-19-08    
Topic: Brands, Strange, Video, Worst



Next Cockroach You See, Shake the Raid and Think Zoo York

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Ugh. Watch some street hoods spray paint Zoo York's logo on roaches, then shower them onto people in the Manhattan business district.

And here, in a concept slightly more benign, one roach calls another a "no-good cocksucking piece of shit asshole douche."

Nice one. Gotta use it some time, possibly on one of the bustier interns. And in other news, what the fucking-fuck-FUCK?

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by Angela Natividad    Apr- 3-08    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Commercials, Television, Video, Worst



Google Might Axe 300 DoubleClick Jobs, Mostly Stateside, and Shafts Performics

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With its acquisition of DoubleClick finally secure, Google gets down to the more controversial part of not being evil: axing a shit-ton of jobs.

As of today Google started making with the mass lay-offs. The New York Times says it's possible 300 could go, but the GOOG ain't all bad; it's softening the blow by giving a few chumps "transitional" roles, which means you get to transition-the-hell-out after the two big ships become one.

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by Angela Natividad    Apr- 2-08    
Topic: Brands, Events, Online, Worst



'Fetch' Didn't Happen. Neither Will 'Shmmom'

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The movie American Pie made the term MILF famous. You hear it everywhere. Even where you shouldn't like in kid's movies. Somehow we don't think the same will happen with the term Shmmom or Smoking Hot Minivan Mom. Yea, we know. It's a mouthful. Leave it to a local car dealer to think up this crap.

by Steve Hall    Mar-17-08    
Topic: Commercials, Strange, Worst



Chinese Wool Ad Feels Something Like Water Torture

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This ad for Heng Yuan Xiang, a wool company, pisses China off. We thought it was just the mob overreacting again, but -- having watched about half of it -- we're suddenly jam-packed with repressed rage. A great way to destroy someone's soul would be to pin their eyelids open and force them to sit through this for a little over six minutes.

The spot starts about :09 into the video, so don't be fooled by all that happy baby stuff at the beginning. Here's a positive: after one sitting, you'll feel uncomfortably familiar with all the animals in the Chinese zodiac. AND you'll have three new syllables burned forever into your brain.

by Angela Natividad    Mar- 6-08    
Topic: Brands, Commercials, Television, Worst



Questions Raised Over Whether Hillary Darkened Obama's Pigment

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For all her noxious crying and whatnot, Hillary Clinton is a well-honed jungle predator. "Winning. Winning, winning, that's my measure of success -- winning," she barked recently.

Having demonstrated yesterday that she's still a viable contender for the presidency, the question arises: what does it take to win, win, win like Hillary?

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by Angela Natividad    Mar- 5-08    
Topic: Campaigns, Commercials, Political, Television, Worst



To Plea for Plight of Pigs, PETA Exploits ... Yo' Mama.

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Here's a picture from a recent PETA stunt at Covent Garden in London. (If you're wondering why it says "Moo," it's because it came from our favourite Hilton.) Campaign copy reads, "Unhappy Mother's Day for pigs! GO VEGETARIAN."

See Make the Logo Bigger exercise deductive logic: "Wouldn't momma pigs have a bad day every day?"

No need to be coherent when you've got a naked MILF on her knees in a cage. And BFD says the woman in the cage isn't just somebody's mom -- she's pregnant.

Ugh, PETA, uuuuuugh. You make us want to tear the shin off an antelope with our teeth.

by Angela Natividad    Mar- 3-08    
Topic: Cause, Guerilla, Human, Worst








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