This 'Mexican Beauty' Will Make You Puke

OK, this is just wrong. It's one thing to watch Mena Suvari frolic in a bed of roses, a much punned scene from the movie American Beauty. It's quite another to watch a fat guy make eyes at you from a bed of Doritos. One is quite enjoyable. The other? Puke inducing.

Oddly, it's an Australian commercial created by Make in Brisbane.

Carl's Jr's Resident Burnout Shakes Milk Cows for Milkshakes

Some ideas should never see the light of day. "Making Milkshakes" is one of them.

To plug its new orange cream milkshakes, Carl's Jr. releases this mildly bestial ad in which a hipster dances around a cow and tries shaking the shit out of it. We hate him. And we don't feel thirsty in the slightest.

Brought to our attention by BL Ochman, who seemed equally repelled by the prospect of an orange milkshake after recovering from this instance of audiovisual molestation.

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Do Not Eat This If You Don't Want to Be A Doofus

If ever there were a commercial which made us not want to be associated in any way with the product being advertised, it would be this Clemenger BBDO-created commercial for Campbell's Chunky Fully Loaded soup.

Seriously. It's like a bunch of Darwin Award winners crossed with Evil Knievel wannabes in search of McGuyver.

It's Like A Fireman Came in Your Mouth

We like to think our Adrants headlines, on occasion, are snark-filled gems of wit and pithiness but this particular headline wasn't written by us. Apparently, it was written by a copywriter whose first language is, it would seem, not English. Or the ad was carelessly pushed through some automated translation software which, as we all know, never ends well.

Add to that boner (look it up. the word doesn't have just one meaning) of a headline the expulsion of a milky white substance, some creepy fireman shapes and a woman who looks quite pleased after she swallows and you've got an ad that, well, would be right at home as an SNL spoof...if they were allowed to go that far on broadcast television.

What's it all about? Some kind of heartburn medicine from Gaviscon.

I'll Have A Golden Shower With My Dirty Sanchez

A YouTube commenter sums up this beer spoof quite well, writing, "Jesus Christ, you Americans have such a poor kind of humor. Very childish..." And if you really want to know just how bad our sense of humor is, check out this Stuckey & Murray commercial entitled Golden Shower.

And yes, that's exactly what it's all about. Complete with a Dirty Sanchez too.

You Want Me to Pull What Out of His Ass?

OK, you all know here at Adrants we are fans of anything that's weird, wacky and wrong. But this Silk Soft-sponsored Danish toilet paper dispenser toilet dispenser is beyond wrong. Beyond wrong on so many levels. First, it's gross. Second, pulling toilet paper out of someone's ass pretty much guarantees it's going to have shit all over it already. And third, it'll make people puke causing the invention of a puke whole on the bathroom floor that, yes, will graphically represent the mouth of a person puking right back at you.

Joan and Melissa Rivers Fail Miserably in All Detergent Videos

WTF? What is wrong with Joan River's face? Could it be any more stretched out? Damn. It looks like it hurts! Whatever. If it weren't for her freakishly manipulated face, there'd be no reason to watch her in this Celebrity Apprentice Guess That Stain video for All detergent. Lame. Lame. Lame.

Daughter Melissa, on the other hand, at least has a real face (well, accept maybe for those lips) in her role as the laundry fairy in a second version All's Rivers & Rivers videos. Still. Lame. Lame. Lame.

Again, just our opinion. You can check them out here and let us know.

Pasty White Chicks and Desperate Virgins Need Vacation.

Hyatt's running a sweepstakes called The Big Welcome, where you can win a bunch of free nights in Unspeakably Awesome parts of the world.

That's cool and all, but the effort's being promoted with two wristslash-worthy attempts at irony.

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Yawn...Tom Cruise...Risky Business...Guitar Hero...Yawn

Oh please. Can we finally put that Tom Cruise Risky Business scene out of its misery? A moratorium, please? I mean seriously. Is there no creativity left? Do we have to keep riffing off famous movies scenes and other things until they've been so defiled they aren't worth riffing off any more? Please. Make it stop

Oh Look! It's the First Ever Customizable Video Clip!

Come on! Do people even bother to do the tiniest bit of research be fore making a first, best only claim? Apparently not. Even our sieve of a brain could come up with an example of what Woo Agency, here, claims to be a first.

The agency has just launched the "world's first customizable video clip" which allows people to...wait for it...place an image of their face in a Matisyahu video. Oh really? Seriously? Dudes, customizable video has been around for EVAR!

Even without doing research, the simplicity of this would have at least casued you to thing, "Damn, this has to have been done before.," right