Quiznos hooked (oh no they di'nt!) up with Playboy to riff on the disgusting "2 Girls 1 Cup" thing. While Quiznos has reportedly denied any involvement with this production, we can't help but wonder just how many people over at Quiznos are loving (even hoping) this thing gets as much exposure as it's getting. We still think there's some shenanigans going on here.
In the ad, two women in bikinis sit on a bench. One is enjoying a Quiznos sub as the other looks on. In fact she's enjoying it so much she can't quite contain herself. Happy to share the pleasure, she hands the sub to the other who can't get it into her mouth fast enough.
How best to commemorate the trendiest American icon today? With another American icon: the Chia pet.
"Your Chia Obama is a symbol of liberty. Opportunity. Prosperity. Hope."
Perhaps we're misinterpreting this ad but it sure looks like Lady Liberty is giving birth to or, worse, defecating a...what..."tired, poor" immigrant? What, exactly, is this ad trying to say? That America keeps pumping out the same shit over and over again? That America isn't into birth control? That it's healthcare system is so bad even Lady Liberty can't afford to have a baby in a hospital?
Please. Do tell. We're going to have nightmares about this for a long time unless someone supplies a more cherry interpretation for us to focus on.
OK, this is just wrong. It's one thing to watch Mena Suvari frolic in a bed of roses, a much punned scene from the movie American Beauty. It's quite another to watch a fat guy make eyes at you from a bed of Doritos. One is quite enjoyable. The other? Puke inducing.
Oddly, it's an Australian commercial created by Make in Brisbane.
Some ideas should never see the light of day. "Making Milkshakes" is one of them.
To plug its new orange cream milkshakes, Carl's Jr. releases this mildly bestial ad in which a hipster dances around a cow and tries shaking the shit out of it. We hate him. And we don't feel thirsty in the slightest.
Brought to our attention by BL Ochman, who seemed equally repelled by the prospect of an orange milkshake after recovering from this instance of audiovisual molestation.
If ever there were a commercial which made us not want to be associated in any way with the product being advertised, it would be this Clemenger BBDO-created commercial for Campbell's Chunky Fully Loaded soup.
Seriously. It's like a bunch of Darwin Award winners crossed with Evil Knievel wannabes in search of McGuyver.
We like to think our Adrants headlines, on occasion, are snark-filled gems of wit and pithiness but this particular headline wasn't written by us. Apparently, it was written by a copywriter whose first language is, it would seem, not English. Or the ad was carelessly pushed through some automated translation software which, as we all know, never ends well.
Add to that boner (look it up. the word doesn't have just one meaning) of a headline the expulsion of a milky white substance, some creepy fireman shapes and a woman who looks quite pleased after she swallows and you've got an ad that, well, would be right at home as an SNL spoof...if they were allowed to go that far on broadcast television.
What's it all about? Some kind of heartburn medicine from Gaviscon.
A YouTube commenter sums up this beer spoof quite well, writing, "Jesus Christ, you Americans have such a poor kind of humor. Very childish..." And if you really want to know just how bad our sense of humor is, check out this Stuckey & Murray commercial entitled Golden Shower.
And yes, that's exactly what it's all about. Complete with a Dirty Sanchez too.
OK, you all know here at Adrants we are fans of anything that's weird, wacky and wrong. But this Silk Soft-sponsored Danish toilet paper dispenser toilet dispenser is beyond wrong. Beyond wrong on so many levels. First, it's gross. Second, pulling toilet paper out of someone's ass pretty much guarantees it's going to have shit all over it already. And third, it'll make people puke causing the invention of a puke whole on the bathroom floor that, yes, will graphically represent the mouth of a person puking right back at you.
WTF? What is wrong with Joan River's face? Could it be any more stretched out? Damn. It looks like it hurts! Whatever. If it weren't for her freakishly manipulated face, there'd be no reason to watch her in this Celebrity Apprentice Guess That Stain video for All detergent. Lame. Lame. Lame.
Daughter Melissa, on the other hand, at least has a real face (well, accept maybe for those lips) in her role as the laundry fairy in a second version All's Rivers & Rivers videos. Still. Lame. Lame. Lame.
Again, just our opinion. You can check them out here and let us know.