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30-Year-Old Men Play Stupid High School Tricks on Drunk Friends It's a forgone conclusion that men are idiots, right? Think of it this way. If an alien ship were to orbit the planet and take a look at the plethora of beer commercials floating around the interwebs, they could only come to one conclusion. Men, when consuming -- or even just thinking about consuming -- beer, are blithering buffoons who have no socially redeeming qualities. The Top Six Ways to Use Social Media for Kick-Ass Business Results Of course you're already implementing social media and social business strategies for and within your brand but have you covered all the bases? Are your social activities and strategies the best they can be? This Social Media Pocket Guide (one of the best we've ever seen!) from Spredfast, part of the Adrants whitepaper series, outlines the top six objectives every company should consider having at the core of its social strategy. The guide helps point companies in the right direction for creating and implementing social media initiatives based on proven success tactics. In this 40-page social media guide, discover: Kate Upton Has Sex With Hot Pocket, Dreams of Snoop Dogg In Kate Upton's latest dalliance with food -- it's like some kind of aphrodisiac for her -- arrives home with her roommate, gets hungry, seductively changes, heads to her bedroom, turns on Larry King, practically has an orgasm while consuming a meaty Pocket and slips into a psychedelic dream featuring Snoop Dogg doing a mashup of Biz Markie's 1989 hit "Just a Friend (You Got What I Need) which ends up "You Got What I Eat." Now if that isn't a dirty double entendre, we don't know what is. Yea, selling sandwiches with a fantasy in which Snoop Dogg sings to Upton about how much he'd like to eat her. Chickens Sing Human League's 'Don't You Want Me' to Sell Chicken None of you under the age of, say, 35, will understand the freakishly odd appeal of the Human League's 1981 hit "Don't You Want Me." It was the number one song on the Billboard 100 in July 1982 for three weeks when a place called "Brothers 4" in Falmouth Heights on Cape Cod was the place to be seen. OK, the place to be seen if you were a college kid toiling in the Cape Cod restaurant scene and you choice of nighttime activity was slightly limited. Lassie 'Cries Wolf' to Help Man Get Expert Gold Beer Oh what men (and advertising copywriters) will do to get a beer. Tapping the fairly tail-ish "cry wolf" scenario coupled with the old-timey trustworthiness of Lassie, New Zealand-based Colenso BBDO have crafted a witty commercial that cuts to a man's truism; he would rather be having a beer with friends than, well, do just about anything else. And, he'll do just about anything to get that beer with friends. Just watch any non-Clydesdale Budweiser Super Bowl commercial. Mystery Billboard Teaser Campaign Taunts NSA [UPDATED] Two mysterious billboards have appeared in New York. One, located on West Broadway near Canal Street, reads, "Your data should belong to the NSA" and the other, located at 27th and Broadway, reads, "The Internet should be regulated." A Clear Channel spokesperson, David Grabert, confirmed to Animal New York the work is part of a teaser campaign saying,"For now, I am respecting the creative campaign and reserving comment on who the advertiser is." Company Mails Free Vibrators to Federal Employees During Shutdown Oh the wit and whim of some marketers. Acknowledging the fact a substantial number of people may have more time on their hands having been affected by the government shutdown, online retailer Vibrators.com is mailing out 200 free vibrators each day to anyone who uses the discount code "shutdown." So, yes. this isn't exclusive to federal employees but the promotion is certainly aimed at them. The company promises to deliver 200 free dildos daily until the shutdown ends. The offer is limited to 200 per day so as not to overrun production...which, of course, you know it would if the count were higher. How to Use Call Tracking to Prove Email Marketing's Value to Your CEO Not So Old School Anymore It seems like every week there's another article proclaiming the end of email as a marketing tool. But the truth is that email marketing has never been more popular, and with good reason: - The rise in smartphones and tablet adoption has made it easy for people to access your emails from anywhere at anytime. - Depending on your industry, most leads will require some form of nurturing before they are ready to engage with a sales rep. - Sophisticated email delivery tools like those in marketing automation solutions now make it easy for you to create targeted, relevant, personalized (and perhaps most importantly, automated) email campaigns. It should therefore come as no surprise that according to a 2013 benchmark report from MarketingSherpa, 64% of companies planned to increase their investment in email marketing in 2013. Sony's 'Carrie'-Themed Coffee Shop Prankvertising Stunt Goes Viral Well how about that. After all these years reporting on prankvertising stunts occurring mostly overseas because, well, we like to sue people here in America for doing shit to us, we have a bona fide, kick-ass, prankvertising stunt right in the heart of New York City. How Content Marketing Helps You Pick Up Girls In an excruciatingly boring, overly-long "homage" to Apple's "I'm a Mac, I'm a PC" campaign, the International Content Marketing Summit is out with a video that tells us the way to get a girl is through targeted conversation rather than a numbers-based, "spray and pray" approach. Now, on the surface, this approach aligns well with real life. After all, walking up to every single girl and asking her for sex is far less likely to get anyone any sex. Taking the time to get to know each other through conversation at least begins the process of determining whether or not, ahem, further engagement makes sense. 
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