June 26, 2005
Fat Girls And Belly Shirts Don't Mix
While there;s nothing wrong with having a few stomach rolls, why is it so hard for fat bellied girls to realize skin tight, belly-baring shirts just aren't for them? You see it all the time and you have to wonder if these girls ever look in the mirror nefore they step out.
June 18, 2005
Envy the Cause of TomKat Mania
There's really nothing wrong with the whole Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes thing. Certainly Cruise is acting strange but who wouldn't after living 20 years in the land of Hollywood without a care in the world. Throw in a little Scientology and you've got the makings of a perfect freak. But if the two actually do like or love each other, who are we to judge. At least give them a few most or marriage, maybe a divorce or a bit of adultery. Then, maybe then, it'll be proper to have open season on the two of them.
The age difference is irrelevant. So what if he's over 40. So what if she's 24. Last I heard, people over 18 are allowed to make their own decisions. We can judge and we can ridicule but these are two people who have chosen each other and we, simply because they are famous and he jumped off a couch on Oprah, feel it's fine to crap all over them. Stranger relations have happened and been very successful. We just don't hear about them because they they happen in East Bum Fuck, Iowa instead of in Hollywood.
Of course, it's way too tempting to leave this alone. It makes great copy. And the media loves great copy. As do bloggers and seniors at their weekly coffee clatch. We can't help it. We can't control ourselves. Mostly, we angry because we aren't living the life of Tom Cruise of Katy Holmes, starring in movies, counting our millions and backing on the glow of popularity and fame. Admit it, you'd all like a piece of that. But since you can't have it, you'll just make life miserable for those that do have it.
The Car Blogged The Leaf Which Read
I'm not sure but the last time I checked, there was something going on in the way of actual information that, if you read closely, you will realize is very much like the thing I saw last month when we had this same discussion that seem to go circular. In fact, yes, that is exactly what happened and when the sun shines and the neighbors walk, the mailman makes his way up the road but doesn't cross the path of the school bus which is usually full of kids unless it's Saturday, then it's just full of old ladies going to play Bingo downtown.
On TV, there's usually news about the weather on everyday that helps you decide what kind of paste to buy when you make your way to the grocery store but never actually enter because you meet a friends who keeps droning on about some boring party he went to last night which his mother, who is married to his father, always makes him re-tell whenever he sees his friends. But after the drug store opens, then that's when the bike race begins so then there's lots to sit down and eat pizza.
The scientist I talked to yesterday said elephants are actually related to giraffes but the leaves on the tree always blow even if there is no wind because it's not really the wind that makes the leaves blow but the little muscles inside the leaves that are connected to the power source under the lawn which gets it's energy from the milk I had for breakfast this morning. So that's why my daughter actually know who to talk and can drive the airplane to the archaeological dig that her teacher said she had to go to because the picture on the desk was crooked.
Then, it was time for the movie.
June 14, 2005
Drivers Become Premature Idiots
While making my usual morning coffee run to the local Dunkin Donuts traveling the winding, wooded roadway, I passed a woman I often see taking her daily walk, raising hand weights up and down over her head. On the only straight segment of road between my house and Dunkin Donuts, I swerve out a bit to give her some room. I had already swerved back into my pane when a black Mercedes found it necessary to honk as if I had trespassed on their god given segment of road. Not two days later, the same thing happened as I pulled back into my lane. After I was back in my lane, some trashy white car felt the need to quickly swerve into my lane and back as if to warn me off its hallowed ground. I'm giving them the benefit of doubt, hoping the reason they became assholes for a moment was because they didn't realize why I had swerved out. Hopefully they'll understand I wasn't out trying to run over women who liked to exercise
June 13, 2005
Welcome to Nothing
There's nothing here.