Last year Google turned your love life into an algorithmically solvable search problem. This year it's teamed up with Virgin to give us Virgle: the adventure of not one, but many lifetimes.
Apply to become a Virgle pioneer and you could win a coveted slot on a ship to Mars. It will be dangerous. It will be uncomfortable. It will be unnecessarily expensive. "But your enriched descendants will appreciate your sacrifice, which should render worthwhile your choice to spend the rest of your (perhaps radically foreshortened) life in deprivation and uncertainty," Virgle assures you.
If the bobblehead starts talking to you, squeeze the wheel and look straight ahead. It's probably just an Aquafina promotion.
To celebrate its snappy new designation as "Official Water of Major League Baseball" (sorry, there's an official water?), Aquafina has launched Lou's Daily Affirmations, featuring Lou Piniella.
Put together by Tribal DDB Dallas, yesterday's affirmation was "Life is always more interesting with a bat in your hands."
No need to tell me twice. The pinata might need convincing though.
It's a dude rapping about design coding!
If my mom threw out my rap cassettes and replaced them with SEO rap (as opposed to rap about seeking out the Holy Spirit), she would have changed my life forever.
And I would have thanked her (as opposed to throwing things across the room and crying, because that E-40 cassette cost me three days of unspent lunch money, and also because I would never again have the opportunity to memorize all the lyrics to "Sprinkle Me").
More SEO rap here. Topics include conversion closing, paid search, link building and social media. Lyrics included.
- Kevin Horne reminded us of the existence of the Subprime Primer. All that fucked-up logic isn't just acid caricature. The mortgage crisis really happened this way.
- Modernista wasn't the only brand to go siteless. So has this Britney Spears fan site. And Jung von Matt in Stockholm.
- This Facebook app takes your existing profile pic and lets you turn it into a bar-hopping, casual-sex-having avatar. Okay, maybe not so much casual sex.
- Like cars? Aw, that's cute. See MTLB's NY Auto Show Car Porn Wrap-Up. We like it when he vents.
The Parentalyzer was put together by Red Square Agency to tackle underage drinking in Alabama. It has stats on drinking and driving, tips for keeping tabs on teens, and ads where parents openly admit to letting their critters sip the sauce every once in awhile.
This is one of those campaigns that would piss me off if I were a bottle-slinging Alabama mom, but it's otherwise a riot to inflict on other people. (Especially while they're at work!) Are you brave enough to take the Parentalyzer quiz, which -- unlike your closest friends -- might be man (or, well, machine) enough to tell you that you're raising a future member of the AA?
Think about that over a nice soothing gin.
Speaking of people who might off you with a grin, Martin Scorsese joined MySpace and now my homepage is splattered with banner ads that read "MARTIN SCORSESE WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND!"
Tough to reject the guy who pimped Jodie and fed mobsters their lines for a whole generation. Plus, he has such an earnest smile. Almost like he wants to feed you cookies while peeling off your skin.
If you love Daily Candy but can't get it to jive with your Y chromosome, maybe it's time to subscribe to Gay List Daily.
The email list is "dedicated to making the trendy, gay individual even more trendy and gay." Now serving the nation -- but mainly Dallas, LA, Chicago and Atlanta. (Did we mention they're dying for advertising?!)
To get cozy with our slightly gayer side -- but mainly to find more new stuff to make fun of -- we registered for the email list today. The "thank you!" page graced our eager eyes with a pink cowboy (and oh, how we squealed!). It was almost too sassy to stand.
It seems we've taken a step backwards when it comes to online creativity. Not so much in terms of its excellence, rather its importance as a factor in online marketing. Certainly technology has made possible a vast array of online advertising units which provide advertisers and publishers the ability to tailor programs to marketers' needs. But what happened to taking advantage of online media's flexibility as it relates to creativity?
One more reason to join AdGabber: Hearing about Proposition 3-17, Guinness' (childish?) attempt to turn alkie shenanigans into a legit holiday, well before St. Patrick's Day.
Failing that, you could always hit your nearest college town and go hashing every week.
Here's some randy creative for Hot Video by CLM BBDO, Paris. The piece at left reads "Don't worry, both candidates get the secretary job." Wallpaper-style background shares what-all went on between the lines.
Other statements that soothe in more ways than one:
o "In case you were wondering, the pool boy really cleans out the pool."
o "Yes, the plumber does fix the leaking pipe."
o "Just so you know, the girl next door does get the sugar she came for."
o "Eventually, the pizza delivery guy realizes none of the girls ordered a pizza."
The premise of the campaign is to tell you what happens at the end of Hot Video's porn-tastical videos, because they're all (tagline!) so good you won't get to the end.
Now that the dignity of every service worker you know has been ravaged, feel free (or not) to visit Hot Video. The site's totally SFW and far tamer than the advertising, if only because it makes no sense visually or otherwise.