SEO Firm Launches '26 Week Plan' for Internet Marketers

Think of it as Purple Internet Marketing's 12-step plan for online marketers. Except with more steps. The big premise: "A website isn't a marketing medium."

Wait, what?

"A website," the founders argue, "is a catalyst to marketing opportunities."

Ohhh.

But don't take our grimace for it; see trusty testimonials from people like you!

method Ravages Mother Goose to Find Bathroom Buddies

You know method: people against dirty? We love how their ad copy is always a little provocative, but not so saucy that you can point fingers and go, "HEY, that's DIRTY!"

We opened our emails this morning and found ourselves face-to-face with this promotion for method's latest "Bathroom Buddies": le scrub + little bowl blu. (You know, like your favourite song!)

Suddenly tag-team toilet cleaning time seems ... sexy. And strangely mod.

Sprint Quick-Fixes Out of Kindness ... or Total Brand Negligence

Sprintcuts, a handy-dandy Sprint campaign, gives tips on how to quick-peel a banana and dry nail polish in a blink.

The campaign leads people to Waitless.org, which shares other somewhat-productive tips on "time rebates" that are supposed to leave you with the sense that Sprint = time savings.

We've actually seen this spot, Instant Baby Soothe, a few times on either Hulu or ABC.com. We thought it was cool, but until this very moment we had no idea whose ad it was. Which would actually be helpful, because then we'd know who to blame when our relatives "WTF?" us as we carry their spawn to a nearby sink.

Big-ups to Candace for sharing.

Incredible Inc: Punny, Less Incredible

Incredible Inc -- which is angling for that vintage comic book feel reeeeally hard but totally missing it -- is a promotion for Xerox's ink printers. Observe how the superheros have been subtly clothed in standard print cartridge colours: cyan, yellow, black and magenta(ish).

Objectively lame.

Support HOPE. Join Obama's Digital Patchwork Quilt!

If you're bummed about your creative inability to contribute a musical mash-up to Obama's viral war chest, we're found your solution.

Become part of the fabric of "Yes We Can"! Yeah, the video looks all screwed up and snowy for a reason. Mouse over the images and you'll see snapshots of upload-happy Obama worker bees. Just hope they vote, Obama!

The site was put together by Syrup for will.i.am, according to A Source of Inspiration.

Ad Council Launches Creative eNewsletter

The Ad Council just hopped aboard the online clue train and started its own e-newsletter, the Ad Council Creative.

It's pretty neat, actually. What it will do is showcase creative from ad agencies that donated time and effort to building campaigns for the Ad Council. The first three on the list include an eco campaign by DraftFCB, a child abuse campaign by Ogilvy & Mather, and a domestic violence series by McCann Erickson.

We'll probably be subscribing to keep ourselves updated on the wacky hijinks of cause advertising (there are many!).

Jarvik Pulled, HBO Subverts, Obay Continues, L'Oreal Does Second Life

- Pfizer has pulled its long-ish running commercial featuring Jarvik heart inventor Robert Jarvik because he was portrayed as a doctor when, in fact, he's not.

- HBO is at it again with quirky videos promoting their shows. These new BBDO-created videos show two stories twice with second ending the more daring one, representative of stories you might see on HBO.

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Got 7 Minutes to Blow on a Cigar Ad?

Neither do we. But this one -- for CAO Cigars -- has subtitles and guys that could be samurais in down season. That is, if you go by the clothes and otherwise fail to observe that they bitch about smoking all day and sleep sitting up.

The spot has something to do with CAO guys fighting a smoking ban so they can attend Chicago's Big Smoke in April.

Whenever you're finished trying to laugh at that, see Hitler Gets Banned for some quality subtitled commercial appropriation.

Facebook Traffic Declines, Time Spent Increases

Perhaps it's application fatigue. Perhaps it's incessant friend request. Perhaps it's social media overload but according to Hitwise, traffic to Facebook is down 27 percent for the week ending February 23 from a high during the holidays.

Hitwise acknowledges this could be a seasonal trend citing traffic increases during both the Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks due to a significant portion of Facebook's users (40 percent 18-24) being out of school and having more time to use the site.

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Jack Makes A Sandwich, Simmons Tape A Stunt

- Freakishly weird Jack in the Box has a new website, Make Jack a Sandwich, which AdFreak's David Kiefaber says, "revels in the kind of exaggerated 1970s sleaze I've only seen a thousand times before."

- Copyranter tells us that Gene Simmons tape was just a publicity stunt. Hmm. We never saw that coming.

- Make the Logo Bigger tells us this MasterCard should have run during the 80th Academy Awards as opposed to the dreck that did.

- It's One Show Week!! Yes. From May 5-9, The One Club will host its One Show, One Show Interactive and One Show Design events