Oh how we love contextual advertising. Surely, it's a very effective form of online advertising and does it's thing quite well about 98 percent of the time. That's certainly worth celebrating but it's that other two percent we love so much.
You know it. It's that two percent that give us turpentine ads next to stories about a girl who committed suicide by drinking turpentine. "Card Shark" credit card copy next to an article about a woman killed by a shark. A free dinner for two offer from Olive Garden next to a story about how 250 people fot sick after eating at one of their restaurants.
To cash in on the quiet misery that ornaments cubicle life, CareerBuilder gives us the National Gruntledness Index, which highlights the happiest places to work. Results can be divvied by industry. But if the NGI is any indicator of reality, Oklahoma City is the best place in the nation no matter what you're doing.
Contribute to the index by getting a read on your Personal Gruntedness. The test is longer than it should be, condescending in tone (hey, like your boss!) and set to music like "Brutal Flute" and "Celtic Hip-Hop." All told, it's not dissimilar to water torture or an elective butt-wax.
The average of your money, career and lifestyle comprise your final score. This was ours.
CareerBuilder, why do you want to hurt us when all we did was love you?
HP is looking for the world's most talented hands.
Entrants to the Idolhands contest could win $10,000 or one of four TouchSmart PCs. Contest ends February 28.
Having sat through five or six of these, we don't imagine the expectations are super-ambitious. If you're Vera Wang or Jay-Z, that is.
Other brands have have relegated talent to fancy fingertips include Guinness, Elle MacPherson (in panties, no less!), and Phaeton.
Oh, and Campusfood, if soliciting handouts counts.
Here's an advergame to promote Roscoe's Shake & Bake, which debuts February 8 for Universal Studios.
Austin-based Q1Media put it together in tangent with Makai. It's simple: all you have to do is dodge the food being thrown at Roscoe.
We've had more fun plucking our eyebrows. With quad-edge razors. It'll probably generate a lot of one-hit plays though, because it loads fast and is simple.
Maybe because it has so much trouble getting people into actual cars, Mazda is inviting users to test-drive its virtual cars on Southern California roads: Angeles Crest, Arroyo Pkwy, the Pacific Coast Highway and Decker Canyon.
There's an explanation for the odd action angles (for example, the one where you get a birds-eye view of the front wheel). Mazda observed that on YouTube, car enthusiasts strap cameras to the sides of their cars to show you how gears shift and such.
Okay, then. Now excuse us while we head back to Problem Playground.
It's not Justin Timberlake's Dick in a Box, but Dawn's Early Knights have our more immediate interests at heart: honey-sweet lovin', coated in chocolate romance.
Visit I Made You Breakfast in Bed, a Valentine's Day effort by Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Chocolate Clusters. (Score a $2-off coupon on the site, and visit The Pantry to find out how to make artificial roses seem less ... artificial.)
Props out to Eddie, who gave us exceptionally fresh morning creepage when he personalized the song for us. With rose petals.
Check out this fun new Honda ad by Wieden + Kennedy. Also see LOL-worthy website Problem Playground. It will bring out your inner Alice.
The effort is for Honda UK. We like the collective "HURRAAAAAAY!" in the site intro and its straightforward nav: "Click on things to go there. Click 'Home' to come back here." Site includes puzzles, 360-degree vehicle features, download options for the commercial, and a making-of-the-ad video.
Whoever said assembly line work was dehumanizing clearly wasn't employed in the Hybrid department. Suddenly we're starving for a big fat zero-emissions jigsaw.
Portraying KFC's Colonel as a sadistic prison warden, this new Kentucky Fried Cruelty campaign, in three videos, explores the supposed life of a chicken while under the control of KFC. There's kicking, beating, drugs, electrocution - all the necessary elements one might imagine in a Hostel or Saw movie.
Champion Alesha Dixon of Strictly Come Dancing stars in this valium-esque Ford Focus ad, which debuted February 1st on Ford.co.uk. Cake masterminded it, tapping Alesha for her number-one status among the Brits, and included nifty knick-knacks like instruments made of real car parts.
The latter sounded neat, but we didn't much notice. All told, the video lacks life and seems too smoked-out and tame to even be decadent. Nice icepick shoes, though. And okay, the personalized plate? Cheesy.
Maybe this is just another one of those clashing Brit vs. American sensibility things.
Psst, Ford and Alesha. Watch Beyonce and Armani do it.
Update: Oops. Look like we pushed an angry button. Brit fans are really sick of comparisons between Alesha and B (see YouTube comments).
...because she'll want you to -- way more than she wants that gold necklace, or dinner with you at her favourite restaurant, or a DVD copy of Flashdance.
There's something about this Mother's Day campaign for the Save the Manatee Club that appeals to us. And we're trying really, really hard not to believe it has anything to do with Conan's manatee fetish effort.