Learn the secrets to making seven million dollars in two years -- all for just $6.95 S&H! "How's this for a super trade?" the site gushes.
And while you're power trading, how about some PowerThirst? We're sure the Power Trading guy will appreciate the only energy drink augmented with TURBO PUNS.
Why strain the dancing girls for votes when the 2008 presidential candidates can play paintball instead?
On Miniclip, they can. And thank heavens. Nothing says POTUS like a paintball ass-kicker. (We'd say Hillary's got the competitive advantage there. We bet she's loaded with quiet rage!)
There's a streak of sadism in this year's holiday efforts (observe 1 and 2). We blame it on the hell CGM has wreaked on our psyches.
To illustrate this devolution in goodwill, last year iStudio was all about helping people on their holiday consumer journeys. This year, loud and clear, they DO NOT WANT to deal with you. Or your crappy gifts!
The "greeting" lets voyeurs sift through a bunch of weird shit the agency's been sent. If you like something (we kind of dug the zodiac thong), highlight it in red and send the agency a note about why you deserve it.
LOL. To help big, stodgy Microsoft reinvent itself for the creative kiddies, Wexley presents Hey Genius.
Hey Genius includes a jobcuzzi (for steamy interview de-stressing), a genius transporter, and brain massage stations for geniuses suffering from finals week.
If only these attempts to make Microsoft cool actually coincided with one another. (See Zune and Vista efforts.) And if only Apple didn't already have a Genius training program.
And how much do you want to bet that even if Microsoft did draw young, sexy (bedraggled?) talent away from Google or Facebook, those same kids would still feel a little jipped upon walking into Corporate? Uh, it ain't exactly Californication in the Pacific Northwest.
In lieu of a season's greeting, AIS, London gives us a holiday tool we'd actually like to use.
The Staffblaster attacks dronelike employees -- likely sleepy, hungover and shoddily dressed -- right as they walk through the door (typically between nine and 10 AM).
Must do wonders for morale.
Back in the day there were these two cute little girls named Ashley an Kate Olsen. They stole the hearts of Americans for years with their oh-so-huggable antics on Full House. All was well in America.
Then, they turned 18 and all hell broke loose. All the Olsen Twins legal clocks struck 18 making it OK for every guy to "enjoy" the twins without moral repercussions. All their movies started to suck. They became fashion-clueless potato sack wearers. And...OMG...they wore fur!!!
Here's a message we've never seen before.
Dude. Is this the same drink that's been promoted as the life of 11 countries? You'd think they'd have a fairly agnostic site.
WTF, Pisang Ambon? Is this some sort of joke? Your PR guy promised us cross-media, karaoke and webcam delights. WHY CAN'T WE ROCK THE PALACE?!!
Update: PisangAmbon.com does what its subsite won't. Check it out for videos of a cute blonde bartender mixing drinks. It's all very exciting and green.
And yes! There's karaoke. (Click on the clipcaster.tv icon.)
Meet the good for nuffin' Virtual Account Manager for Burns Marketing. He's great at looking like a douche bag and making "What the fuck?" faces when you ask him questions. We despise him because he's essentially a subservient chicken that isn't subservient. He doesn't even try.
The purpose of the VAM is to make people feel like they're being helped, even while Burns Marketing is away for the holidays. Ha ha fuckin' ha!
Hey, this is pretty nifty. CT-based Shift Control Media, which builds casual games for marketers, has relaunched its website with help from Vancouver's mod7.
The site vibes like an RPG game: You're an alien exploring human behavior and interning at a Madison Avenue agency. The reading's a little heavy compared with the few instances of action, but then again you get to hear bullshit words like "synergy" from alien ears.
The alien also observes that "all the attractive humanoids work in marketing." Hell yes, little green man.
Sucking helium solely for the effect it has on your voice is a time-honored tradition among kids, and probably the only instance of substance abuse you won't get vilified for.
Couple that with an effort like Elf Yourself, and you've got a bonafide interactive promotion for Alvin and the Chipmunks, the feature film based on our favourite childhood show. (Next to Shera and He-Man, anyway.)
Hit Munk Yourself to get "munked," (Get it? Chipmunks?) without the helium. It's definitely safer, even if it cuts the fun in half.
Catch our munked rendition here. And read more about the customizable viral craze, and how it relates to our old buddies Alvin, Simon and Theodore, at Brandweek.