When we're presented the chance to launch ourselves out of a cannon to any destination in the world, we tend to get a bit excited. After all, that Outpost.com gerbil thing was pretty cool. Well after no less that 15 clicks and a seemingly endless collection of forms, buttons, drop down menus and a final challenge to enter personal information, our desire to hop inside the cannon quickly waned. For fuck's sake, marketers, if you're gonna offer up some silly time-waster, the least you could do is make it simple.
If you care, this whole cannon thing has something to do with Heineken, the UEFA Champions League Final and various prize packages. We know we're shirking our journalistic duties here but if you really want to see what happens when the cannon goes off, you'll have to slog through the site on your own,
Continuing their Emerald Nuts twisted quirkiness, Goodby, Silverstein & Partners has launched Goulet Bars, a site on which Robert Goulet tells us not to believe "that silly nut company" which says he messes around with people's stuff while their asleep at the office. Rather, he has your best interests at heart and wants you to eat his Snooze Bar which will help you go to sleep, not finish your work and thereby lower people's expectations of you so you won't have to do a lot of work in the first place. Love that logic. Goulet rocks!
On the site, you can download some sweet Goulet lullabies to ease you into that work-reducing, afternoon nap. You can also check out the nutrition section which responds to Emerald Nuts' "propagandist" nutrition literature by countering "Health is a non-issue. As a regular Snooze bar eater, you will spend close to 90 percent of your life asleep so who cares what kind of shape you're in for that other 10 percent." Hmm. Now there's a diet worth trying.
The whole thing is the perfect anti-sell that sells. Or at least we hope it does. Trouble is, or own unscientific testing of Emerald Nuts versus big boy Planter's, sadly, leaves Emerald Nuts on the lower rung of the taste ladder. No matter. All we care about here is cool advertising and Emerald Nuts has it in spades over Planter's who can't sop messing with that iconic nut in a tuxedo dude.
This is how Murphy's Law works. Soon after we finish ranting about the plethora of racing games already floating about in the ether, another avails itself to us. This one, however, is special because it contains spiffy surprises that are revealed when you speed or otherwise misbehave (it's for an insurance company, after all).
And note the demented version of the benign but neurotic Chevron persona.
We are not amused. Why doesn't anyone make gaming variations of Tetris? Those blocks have nothing to do but serve as ad space. And the Tetris-obsessed have nothing to do but stare at the blocks. Consider the marketing opportunity.
BMW recently launched Pursuit Across Europe (PACE), an animated drag race that takes place between Lisbon and Prague. Developed by Interone Worldwide Hamburg and artist Dirk Hoffman, it's actually a fairly clever way to introduce couch potatoes to new vehicle technology like brake energy regeneration and electric power steering.
If only it didn't lag so much. But maybe that too is a unique new BMW functionality, with esoteric yet explanatory nomenclature like Heightened Atmospheric Awareness.
Off-topic, we maintain that everybody makes a racing game and it would be really neat to have someone focus his or her energy on putting a really good car-washing game on the market.
A new dating site by Match.com goes head-to-head with eHarmony by leveraging the latter's tendency to reject clients who are gay, "unhealthy" or even just obstreperous.
Chemistry.com says "Come as you are" with TV and print spots featuring eHarmony rejects. They've also got a blog for airing every relationship-oriented topic imaginable, appropriately (that is, vaguely) called The Great Mate Debate.
To demonstrate its commitment to individual happiness, Chemistry.com gives users five free matches. And that's great, because if people change their minds as often as Match.com changes its campaign strategy, those freebies will come in handy.
Every once is a while it's healthy to have one's spelling ability tested. It's sort of like going back to high school minus all that clique-ish, cafeteria-style segregation or Mean Girls-inspired hatred. Helping us leave the high school years where they should be, Odwalla and game show champ Ken Jennings have partnered to create Be Soy Smart, a spelling bee site that tests ones spelling metal. We particularly like the tiny disclaimer at the bottom of the site which reads, "We're not saying Soy Smart will make you smarter, but it's a smart choice for vegetarian soy protein and Omega-3 DHA, an important brain component."
- Today, Joost announced that Turner Broadcasting will begin to distribute content on Joost from its well-known brands and properties, including Adult Swim and CNN.
- Here's a little bit of consumer-created hate directed towards Cingular whose phone's apparently can ruin speakers if placed too close to them. The video promotes Feeling Cingular, a site that is less than complimentary to the carrier.
- Fallon isn't happy. Citi has just moved most of its global creative account to Publicis Worldwide.
- The 11th annual Webby Awards has unveiled winners in 14 new categories.
Lonelygirl15 isn't the only girl selling out...uh...getting paid to do what she already does. Uber social connector ShareThis hooked up with Digital Influence Group to partner with YouTuber Abbegirl "to create a series of videos on how you share represents who you are." Her first video, Fashionista, has been viewed 37,000 times since its launch April 14 and points people to HowYouShare which explains how ShareThis works.
Purists might disdain this "soiling" of so-called "sacred" ground on which consumer-generated media walks but, like anything, if content is well done, sponsored or not, people will enjoy it. We enjoyed this.
To celebrate its new service from SFO, JetBlue leaps on the social networking bandwagon and pairs up with Going.com to get its schmooze on with young, upwardly-mobile scenesters, kind of like some other people we know.
Going.com, formerly HeyLetsGo.com, is another one of those "fresh takes" on that same photo-whoring friends-hoarding thing. To make Going.com's demo feel super-awesome, and hopefully to bring foot traffic through JetBlue's doors, the companies are hosting a three-city concert featuring The Teddy Bears and Albert Hammond, Jr. of The Strokes.
Winners of some contest will be shuttled through San Francisco, New York and Boston for all the indie fun and games.
We'd totally join but can't seem to find our horn-rimmed glasses anywhere. They're probably still in the bathtub from the last time we tried cutting for attention. Oh Albert H, if only you knew we were alive.
We're sure we don't need to explain why we're weirded out by I Am a Little Lad from Starburst, an effort to promote their new Berries n' Creme candy. Thrown together by TBWA/Chiat/Day, New York, the video features a little man who appears to secretly hate life but remains gung-ho long enough to teach us how to do the dance his mother made him perform in exchange for berries and creme.
We learned the hard way that when children are made to dance against their will, they maintain the tradition out of a unique kind of sadism. Nonetheless, the berries n' creme dance is fun and you can bet we forced a few new underlings to memorize the moves before we relinquished control and let them go home.
Lest you think we're pure evil, the little lad did spawn a number of followers who learned the catchy hop voluntarily.