We had high ad hopes for Classmates.com. When they started unrolling the "She married him?!" ads we thought, how cute, they're going to play on cliches. High school is rich with them.
But an otherwise promising direction's lost its luster as Classmates.com failed to give us much more than the same pair of ads and the same cliche, both featuring the bespectacled chick we've come to consider their poster child.
Apparently this darling has stopped bringing in the dosh because Classmates.com is going interactive. Here we find their first effort. In line with the nostalgic yearbook photo theme they bring us ... an image jigsaw.
Unless you're Picasso there are only two moves worth making. If even then you're not clever enough to put the pieces together, just follow the green arrows on each square. Try not to blink; you might miss one.
Man, Ed O'Neill has come a long way since his Married With Children Days. Now he's a spokesman for an AOL effort which urges people to watch videos on AOL video for zero cents a day. Aside from the fact, in order to view the videos, one needs a computer (which costs money) and an Internet connection (which costs money), it all sounds pretty good. Oh, and you have to look at ads too. But those really are free. Nothing like begging for ad impressions. Hmm.
Those Punk Marketing guys really know how to capture attention. In a surprise hijack of our ADHD-afflicted mental states, a bathing Cleo appears for the sultry third installment of the book's twisted "storytime with a stripper" effort. And while arguably more chaste, we like it way better than PETA's striptease state of the union.
"Business people must rise up and take back subtlety," Cleo purrs as she toys with a bar of soap. Interesting point. And we're appalled that we sat through all 4.5 minutes of it. If this is indeed the best way to capture an antsy websurfer's attention, how best to capture a reader's? Does the book come with illustrations?
Catch the first and second vids here.
Aware of the average college student's ongoing state of starvation, Kraft puts together University of St. Arvin, where users can auto-generate depressed letters to parents and otherwise scam their way into some Easy Mac.
Our memories of dorm room subsistence are vivid and not very pleasant. We haven't touched Easy Mac since. But even if processed insta-food is behind us, microwaving stuff that shouldn't be microwaved is not.
We're glad we've been given the opportunity to experience this small pleasure from the safety of our own monitors. What can't a computer do for you today?
In support of equal marriage rights, agency Young & Rubicam, Chicago join forces with director Max Vitali of HSI Productions. The resulting smile-coaxing spots crush the notion gays will do nothing but cross-dress and debauch if permitted to marry.
The series comically emphasizes the familiar and occasionally frustrating domesticity we all experience after a given amount of time with our partners. We also dig the candid tagline, "Gay marriage is just like yours. Only gay."
Thus inspired we thought it would be nifty to add "Adrants is just like you. Only sexaaaaaay" to all future marketing efforts. We find it catchy.
Protect Your Penis, shout an otherwise boring-looking set of banner ads.
How do you not click? The following page hit us with massive text reading, "I'm not a real doctor, but I still care about your genitals." The message is flanked by a studious guy in a deceptively doctorish coat, smirking at us.
An elderly stranger expressing interest in our genitals is generally cause for alarm (we are modest, after all) but somehow these ads for Descente bicycle shorts just rub us the right way.
Like Mike at BRILF, we think Descente should take the campaign to the big leagues: virals, podcasts, medical information, what-have-you. If much ado can be made about male cramps, then by gad this too can join the ranks of the mushrooming pseudo-pharma community of advertising! Factory Design Labs is the proud penis presenter of this campaign.
The Number 23, a New Line Cinemas movie having to do with obsession and paranoia, spreads the disease with this interesting would-be viral.
How it works: fill out information about a friend, then enter his e-mail. Friend receives relatively innocuous e-mail asking him to play a game. He's asked for his birthdate and favourite number.
The information you entered about him is then revealed to him in a creepy and intimate manner, along with applicable tie-ins to the number 23.
We dig the idea but considering the Adrants-specific demo was probably made for Adrants Steve and not Adrants Angela, we were more bewildered than scared.
We have no wife to kiss. Unless the game predicts the future, in which case we're super weirded out. We didn't think we swung that way.
We don't know if PETA 2 is actually PETA-funded or an independent group seeking to affiliate itself closely and confusingly with the pro-animal-rights giant, but we visited their site after seeing a Gmail text ad that said "Shut Down Bonsai Kitten. You can help shut them down by signing the petition now!"
This amused us because we haven't thought of Bonsai Kitten in years. But upon hitting the PETA 2 link, we found no Bonsai Kitten references anywhere. And we seriously trolled the site.
This is when we realized we were cleverly tricked. And while they were busy hyping the merits of Facebooking PETA allegiance and asking what Jesus would do for the chickens, they were not going to give us Bonsai Kitten.
While we're actually really bummed about that, kudos to them for getting us to click-and-dig. And the use of a Bonsai Kitten reference, of all things? Pure genius.
We only wish there was actually something Bonsai Kitten-related on the site so we wouldn't feel so jipped. If you happen to find something, do link. This might affect the quality of our day.
Sinless, who by now we suspect spends an unusual amount of time trolling The Fame Game, shares a very white rendition of 50 Cent's In Da Club. Bad rapping and emo glasses aside, we couldn't stop staring at the tassle swinging helplessly from one side of the headliner's hoodie. We are easily mesmerized by little details like that.
"White men can't rap..." our Fame Game-loving friend observes almost wistfully, and even if that's so, they can sure trumpet and clap hands in a cramped space quite decently. When we do our song-and-dance, we normally need a wide berth.
Because our lives won't be complete without that next filet-o-fish, and because pesky dolphins always seem to be snatching them away from us right before our consummate bite, McDonald's brings us Dolphin vs. Man.
Dallas-based Moroch Partners are to blame for this follow-up to last year's "Sharkbait" game. This campaign features two new games that we actually kind of like: "Ocean Commotion" and "Aquatic Tennis."
It never occurred to us that the zany hijinks of dolphins may get in the way of our one goal: ongoing consumption of an undersized, occasionally stiff filet, the lukewarm bun that falls apart in our hands, delightfully soggy lettuce, and - lest we forget - that tartar-ish sauce.
Heaven help. If we weren't so busy suiting up to destroy dolphins at tennis, we'd serenade.
If somehow the filet-o-fish just ain't intense enough, we'll fast remind you that there's also a limited-edition double filet-o-fish available, which this promo also highlights. Try not to cream yourself at this very moment.