Inspired by the video of a UCLA student getting repeatedly tased by cops in the school library, which was too sadistic even for us, Ad Freak decided to research how taser companies hawk their wares. What they found was this video depicting Taser execs zapping the shit out of each other to demonstrate a taser's non-lethal but efficiently trauma-inducing capacity. "If only your boss showed this kind of commitment," Ad Freak observes.
We're guessing university cops don't test tasers on themselves before dashing out the door with them in the morning. If they did, they might discover it doesn't quite tickle - though we might consider getting tased ourselves if it means a mind-blowing settlement from UCLA and watching some dumbasses get fired. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
Found! Long lost hippies from the 60's! We always wondered where they all went and now we know. Well, at least we know where two of them went. Donna Sheehan and Paul Reffell are co-founders of the anti-war organization Baring Witness which is all about peace...and nudity...and, well having a gigantic global orgasm. Yes, the two are behind Global Orgasm, an effort that urges the world to have a synchronis orgasm Friday December 22. Apparently, it's all to "effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy a Synchronized Global Orgasm."
Cue The Doors, Jefferson Airplane, Janis Joplin and all those other hippies turned legit activists. OK so a lot of them are dead now for various reasons but you get the idea. It's the return of the hippie. The Internet Hippie. They've discovered they can get their message out to a whole lot more people using the Internet than holding signs, protesting and shouting their beliefs to angry cops. OK, OK, so their not the first cause group to use the Internet but just go with us on this one. So rather than lying to your partner saying, "you rock my world" after you embellish that recent orgasm, now you literally can rock the world by joining this movement. OK, movement is a bad word. Who wants to think about that bodily function when there's a more pleasureable one to be had. Oh wait. Some people like to mix the two. Sorry. To each his own. Have fun.
Okay. We're not really sure what this Kyle Bone dude is doing with the whole anti-shirt thing, but apparently it has to do with a bunch of parachutes falling on his middle-American town.
To clarify, a PR guy sends us the following background on the docu-style campaign:
"Microsoft believes in the power of big ideas, and that there are countless great business ideas all over America, just waiting to happen. With the right tools, they can flourish and maybe even change the world. Microsoft small business account wants to help small businesses by giving away free software and the opportunity to make big ideas into reality."
Hm. Well, the US was the first country in history to include the pursuit of happiness in its ideal of unalienable rights, so whatever. But for the record and for our own pursuit of happiness, or at least snide smugness, we are playing with the idea of creating a "Lame" category in Kyle's honor. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
Apparently those living in Denmark have a care free attitude about a lot of things including speeding so the Danish Road Safety Council thought it was time for a different approach to enforce speed limits. The country now has Speed Control Bikini Bandits. Yes. It's exactly what it sounds like except the Bandits seem to have forgotten to wear their bikini tops when holding speed limit signs and urging drivers to obey the limits. Have fun with this witty campaign approach to speed control but if your boss doesn't like you watching naked women holding speed limit signs while shaking their boobs, you might want to properly angle your monitor before viewing.
Apparently tissue is experiencing a comeback and Kleenex wants in on hipsters: Our New Oval is a promo for their new oval-shaped tissue dispenser.
Kleenex has been long wedded to the ho-hum quadrilateral silhouette so here's a half-hearted kudos for thinking out of the box. Though their decision to go oval made us recall the logo ovulation critique Hurty Elbow posed about brands who somehow fall under the misguided impression that oval saves sinking ships.
Check out other promo ads here. And since no hipster campaign is complete without one, take the personality test too. If you're curious about Adrants' personality, we are into yoga and wise beyond our years. We don't know about all that om business but that last goes without saying, yeah? - Contributed by Angela Natividad
We have no idea whether this is new or not or why, once again, men are crapped on as unfeeling idiots and women are portrayed as the only ones who have sensitivity and can do laundry. Oh wait. Of course we do. Because it's all true. Men ruin beauty. Women preserve it. Or something like that. Argue amongst yourselves after you view this stainball hunting video from Shout.
Oh for fuck's sake. It's like a bunch of kids throwing sand at each other in a sandbox. Apparently, some Second Life dude stole some virtual possessions of others (using this replicator thingy called Copybot) and those others (sounds like Lost here) retaliated by shutting down their businesses all across Second Life and hanging "Sorry, We're closed. Thanks to Copybot!" signs in front of their businesses. And marketers really want to get into this muck.
UPDATE: Linden Labs, creator of Second Life has banned the use of Copybot. OK, boys.You can put all the sand back in the box now.
Yawn. Oh sorry. We have news to report here but we just get bored sometimes hearing the same things over and over and over again. Especially about mediums du jour (OK, OK, it's a world that took lots of blood and sweat to build) that are tinier than the balls on an account exec standing in front of a client who says the work won't "resonate" with the target audience.
Now what were we talking about? Oh yea. Times Square and all of New York is getting its SL freak treatment. That's Second Life for those of you that have been untainted by Second Life Herald or Nissan's SL automobile vending machine. The Ad Option, the company that brought American Apparel to Second Life is building out Times Square in Second Life to be completed in time for the ball to virtually drop New Year's Eve. Now, those in Second Life suffering years of real world withdrawal can get a virtual dose of it by visiting the Second Life version of Times Square and all the (oh yes) advertising the place will carry.
Because the House and the Senate weren't enough, Democrats want their own dating venue too. Democratic Match is for all the singles that have lost one too many potential mates by letting the dam break about their politics.
The site features a young couple giggling over their organic produce and it led us to wonder what a republican match site would look like. Oh wait, it looks like this.
Why do the republican couples look so bummed-out? Is the food, which seems to be a running prop, also organic? And what do they mean by "Sweethearts Not Bleeding Hearts"?! We're confused by these political love dynamics. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
Forget about the hyper-anal editors at Wikipedia that are always taking down our clever little quips on supposedly "serious" topics like nachos or Marie Antoinette. The serious action happens at Uncyclopedia, where you can throw down your anecdotal knowledge about kitten huffing and the real goings-on behind PETA. Don't you love how this wiki thing enables us all to bask in collective wisdom about the shit that really matters? - Contributed by Angela Natividad