Somehow associating bling with Absolut vodka, Swedish agency Greatworks has created a History of Bling-Bling video in which the genesis of bling is attributed to cavemen affixing rocks on their sticks, Egyptian's fixation with gold, Romans converting their chariot's into lowriders, Vikings' use of gold for dental work, the Ming Dynasty's origination of the word bling-bling and the era's vases becoming blinged out cups used in the hip-hop community, the Renaissance periods use of large gold clocks hung around their necks and how 80's yuppies perpetuated the obsession with Absolut, hence the brand's success. It's all to promote Absolut's limited edition Bling-Bling bottle in hopes the brand can kick Grey Goose's ass and get some of its bling back.
First, and we're no hip-hop expert, we've always been told it's bling and not bling-bling. Second, pronouncing oneself as cool instantly makes one uncool. Third, oh forget it, it's all just a big, witty, inside joke. Or at least we hope it is. Besides, Absolut has simply run out of bottle styles for its ads so this is all that's left.
Looks like it's a good month for men and their menstrual issues. Catch Up Lady points us to Men with Cramps, a site about male cramping which has "directly or indirectly influenced all the most important events in our history." Sufferers are invited to participate in a study with the MacInnes and Porritt Institute which houses the illustrious Dr. Fardel. One participant confides that male cramps "Is like a tiny man playing a triangle in my stomach."
- Alluding to porn star Houston's apparent record of having had sex with 620 men in one day, Copyranter marvels at the capabilities of this True dating service model who can seemingly get 1,000 new singles an hour.
- Adverbox has a nice set of Virgin Money print ads which claim "Bling is King."
- Commercial Alert's Gary Ruskin says Disney's recent announcement of new food guidelines are weak and still allow for the marketing and advertising of to much junk food.
- Nielsen Media Research is launching GamePlay Metrics, a new rating service for video games. The service hopes to establish new metrics for the buying and selling of advertising in video games and to track the activities of gamers across other media platforms, such as TV and the Internet.
If you've ever wondered what a menstrual pad does when it's not between a woman's legs, this video might help provide an answer to that crucial question. In this video for Seventh Generation's chlorine-free feminine products, a guy dressed as a pad goes about his innocuous daily routine just so we can all feel...well...according to the press release "at ease with the topic of periods." Not that anyone educated past grade nine should really have a burning phobia about feminine hygiene but apparently some do, hence the creation of the supposedly educational video. Either that or it's some sick fantasy for guys who like nothing better than to spend the entire day between a woman's legs.
Something that may (or may not, depending on how you look at it) appeal to the vast expanse of red states in the country: PETA puts the heat down on non-human milk drinkers by reminding us that if Virgin Mary's vitamin-rich human milk was good enough for Jesus, so too should we stick with the good stuff.
This would be neat and even meaningful if not for the fact that, once you're over the age of maybe three, it's a social faux-pas for milk-lovers to latch themselves to a nipple and partake (depending on how you look at it). Then again, people get riled up over the topic of breastfeeding anyway so here's a sanction from us: guess it doesn't really matter how old you are. Suckle away. -Contributed by Angela Natividad
Uh-oh. Guess now is a bad time to figure this out, considering social networks seem like rabid acquisitions that go for a pretty penny - like, gazillions of pretty pennies at a time.
But did we actually need to tell you this? Were you really ever under the impression all those ads slathered across MySpace's site were achieving anything? There's only one way to market on MySpace: save some money, throw together a somewhat clever site, and whore yourself out to where the eyeballs really go - the Top 8. - Contributed by Angela Natividad
Continuing its fixation with strippers and their apparent ability to convey Napster's marketing message, the once free-for-all now pay-for-all music service has trotted out yet another stripper to illustrate just how bad the iTunes buck-a-song premise is compared to Napster's all you can eat offering. We suppose the analogy works. After all, no one really wants to own a stripper. They just want to rent one for a little while until they're...well...finished.
We're sure this Captain Your Halloween promotion and accompanying cheesy DRTV-style commercial are supposed to be kitsch-filled fun but, we just don't see it. Perhaps it's seeing grown adults in Halloween costumes meant for kids. Perhaps it's a liquor company's trying to make a kid's holiday into an adult's holiday. Perhaps it's just Captain Morgans' attempt to be dumb in order to be seen ad funny when it's really just dumb in the first place.
While everyone's fawning all over Google's purchase of YouTube, the poor guys over at pipe and tube equipment company Universal Tube whose web address is utube.com wish the party would end because, apparently, several million people can't tell the difference between YouTube and Utube causing the company's president Ralph Girkins to tell CNN, "It's killing us." Indeed it is. The site is currently available. Hey Google, help a little guy out. Send a spare server or three over to these guys so your $1.6 billion party doesn't put this guy out of business.
Borat, an anti-Semitic journalist personality invented by comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, has riled up Kazakhstan with publicity attempts to generate interest in his upcoming movie. An irate President Nazarbayev, concerned about Westerners taking Borat seriously, assures us all that "contrary to Borat's claims, [Kazakhstan] is not a nation of drunken anti-Semites who treat their women worse than their donkeys." We're not really sure why this kind of thing is a political issue considering Fez has made us laugh over stereotypes for as long as "That 70's Show" has been around, but whatever, every country is different and has the right to decide what kind of news should be a diplomatic priority.