After setting up its first-ever 4G wireless broadband network in Portland, Clearwire tapped Secret Weapon Marketing to promote its merits: better internet speeds, broader coverage.
The result was a series of irreverent prints -- and "Sprinkles," a TV ad that compares wireless coverage to cupcake sprinkles. (Rivals are represented by a stingy sprinkling; meanwhile, Clearwire's coverage deluges the bakery with diabetes-inducing hail.)
"Welcome to the future," the narrator says smugly.
The industrial pollutants in the World Wildlife Federation's "Light Bulb" ad are only tired toys. But these miniatures -- small things we can easily control -- still convey the helplessness environmentalists feel when faced with oversized, eco-negligent businesses.
"Light Bulb" concludes with a male doll holding an energy-efficient light bulb. "You're doing your part," the ad assures us. "It's our job to help government & industry do theirs."
This message of gentle aggression is fast replaced by the image of a panda, an animal known to unfailingly melt hearts -- or in extreme conditions, cause brain explosions.
Sunil Shibad, the brains behind this whole debacle, just linked us to his new year greeting card.
Illustrated by the image of a gun barrel loaded with a single, heart-shaped bullet, the card reads, "Make love not war. Make love get AIDS. Either way you die."
We're still uncertain what to make of it ... but we're pret-ty sure that logic could use some retooling.
For its Grease-tacular Disco Pant, American Apparel slays another guileless chick on its altar of unrepentantly exploitative ad banners. Meet Shermine, who loves! disco!
Like our compromised heroine at 2AM, the ad dramatically blacks out with the closing sell: LE DISCO PANT.
American Apparel: sure, it's seedy as all hell. But if you've followed it as long as we have, then you must admire its unwavering loyalty to a single brand persona: rain or shine, in sickness and in health, in grayscale or by low-budget lamplight.
Even Microsoft can't be that consistent.
Sporting site Versus has launched a recent promotion entitled Show Me Your V. Yes, this is where that is going. Of the promotion Yahoo Sports blog Puck Daddy wrote, "Maybe our minds are so far in the gutter that we've got rats scurrying across them, but even Roger Moore's James Bond would believe this double entendre is a tad too telegraphed."
A thunderstorm of commentary followed.
Fast on the heels of its unscrupulous Whopper Virgin campaign (and the melodramatic responses it inspired), Crispin Porter + Bogusky introduce us to Burger King's Angry Whopper.
Infused with jalapenos and onions grown by disgruntled (read: sadistic and utterly unhinged) farmers, this hot-headed burger promises to "bite you back."
Red-faced yet? Go compose an angry-gram, courtesy of the King's darker side.
We like how the disclaimer reads, "Angry-Grams are intended to be humorous and should not be used with an intent to harass." Guess I should start rethinking my wry subject-line combinations of "mother" and "whore."
- Jack Morton Worldwide, Almighty, Weber Shandwick and Google join Citizen Schools to help kids succeed.
- Which Dog are You?
- "They only met once, but they stayed crunchy forever."
- Sam L. Jackson fronts for Virgin Media Broadband.
- "Fast casual" wha...? McD's training film.
- UK's Benylin is in the dog house for using ads to teach people how to call in sick.
A Humanitarian Lion supporter produced a video riffing off Burger King's Whopper Virgins campaign, where documentarians engage Third World inhabitants in hamburger taste tests -- and incidentally pop their hamburger-free cherries.
Unlike Burger King's ad footage, which makes backwater village life look exotic and friendly, the pro-Humanitarian Lion video uses images of abject poverty to illustrate "Whopper Virgins," followed by Nike Virgins, Playstation Virgins, Perrier Virgins and Human Rights Virgins.
The push point: "Millions of people cannot enjoy the world. Why not use our creativity and power to help them once a year?" A link to the Humanitarian Lion website wraps it up.
Poignant if lengthy. If nothing else, it illustrates the crassness of imposing Whoppers and Big Macs on people with bigger voids to fill.
Page takeovers work well if done properly, like this recent one for Ford. If, on the other hand, all they do is obnoxiously plaster a website with an endless array of banners - even if they are gorgeous images of Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson - the only thing they accomplish is to make one wonder if a million pop ups just opened in their browser.
Upload your photo! Change its size and position! Alter the skin tone! Mess with Saturation! Toy with brightness! Meddle with contrast! Choose a body style! Pick a hair style! Slip on some glasses! Accessorize! Save it! Share it! Add to gallery!
Thank you Puma.