As always, domain-buying service GoDaddy took the fullest advantage of its liaison with Danica Patrick -- and her beaver -- for this year's Super Bowl spots, whose scripts appear to have been written by pornographers in financial distress.
Here's a trope you might've seen before: pubescent boy's fantasies, realized.
And this spot, confusingly dubbed "Baseball," plays on trashy court TV. I think it would be better served if it were renamed "Enhanced? I'll show you enhanced."
Cast votes for your favorite on GoDaddy.com up to January 23rd. Like last year, each spot continues in a (gasp!) unrated online version.
- Facebook shuts down Burger King's "Whopper Sacrifice" app, which offers users free Whoppers after they de-friend 10 people. The data-sharing giant treated the app as a privacy breach.
- Google shafts 100. Dodgeball will be no more; Google Video will cease taking uploads in a few months' time.
- Paris-based Havas is splitting CEO duties between COO Gabriel Saenz de Buruaga of Madrid, and CSO Anthony Rhind of London.
- How advertising works.
- Got a secret, but can't be bothered to make a postcard? Contribute to Big Love's web of secrets. Note that each secret you enter endorses polygamy. Kidding. Maybe.
- Get a load of Obama's beast.
- Oh nooooes, renting a movie is just too hard for some.
- The Social Path lists emerging careers of 2009.
- MTLB's gas-related wisdom.
- Eyewear for the poor.
Check out "First Time," the first-ever online video attempt by a company called Slendertone.
Put together by Publicis, the video depicts individuals, couples and groups either grinning or standing around uncertainly -- before their faces explode with either alarmed or joygasmic expressions.
The ad leaves you to guess what Slendertone actually does, but especially curious users are invited to visit slendertone.com, where all is revealed.*
Until you actually go out of your way to do that, however, you'll probably be standing around going, "It's a vibrator, right? Or an orgy-inducing party game?"
Probably doesn't help that at some point, the feel-good background song exclaims, "I'm about to blow, yeah!"
Having long ago concluded it never has to finance another agency-produced ad EVER AGAIN, Doritos announced the five finalists of this year's "Crash the Super Bowl" contest. They are:
1. "Free Doritos," Joe Herbert, Batesville, IN
2. "New Flavor Pitch," Oren Brimer, New York, NY
3. "Power of the Crunch," Eric Heimbold, Venice, CA
4. "The Chase," Chris Roberts, Burbank, CA
5. "Too Delicious," Michael Goubeaux, Los Angeles, CA
Impressively, they all share Doritos' abrupt frat-boyish brand persona. Almost like they were made by guys cut out of the same mold but of varying degrees of funniness.
We all hit an age where our innocence is lost and we should be kept away from balloon animals at all costs.
Know why? Because, given the opportunity, we'll grab two and make them hump each other, either out of boredom or to entertain other co-eds whose brains haven't fully developed yet.
Capitalizing on this sad phenomenon, Durex gives us its latest online vid, which Superfad CD Robert Rugan creatively dubbed kama-balloon-animal-sutra.
"When you get the chance to create 'kama-balloon-animal-sutra', everyone involved gets really stoked about pushing the boundaries as much as possible," Rugan beamed.
Here's an Amnesty International ad that depicts footage of ordinary people sticking their noses where they don't belong -- and stopping injustice, sometimes even death, as a result: a guy in a colorful button-down shirt throws a door open to free prisoners, a pregnant woman leaps in the way of a beating, a girl in a velour tracksuit takes a rifle from a young child.
Gotta say, we felt pretty nonplussed by the ad until we saw the kids with rifles, blowing smoke out of their nostrils and shooting into space.
The message? "Individuals can make a difference." The track is Until the Day is Done by Michael Stipe. Work by Mother/London.
You might have seen a walk-in fridge on TV or in movies. Typically they're used for storing dead bodies or hiding from a giant blob monster until you suffocate and/or freeze to death.
Rarely is a walk-in fridge an appealing thing.
But in "Walk-In Fridge," Heineken positions the frozen death box as the XY version of every Sex and the City fangirl's dream: the walk-in closet. It's good -- the kind of work we expect to see during the Super Bowl. And the walk-in fridge does indeed kick copious ass.
After the screamers have their joygasm, the ad wraps up with a simple enough tagline: "Heineken. Serving the planet." Suits just fine.
Work by TBWA\Amsterdam. The ad appeared on Dutch TV at the beginning of the month, but the PR firm says it drew over a million hits online in less than five days -- which is probably why they're bringing it hither.
This morning we got a press release announcing the launch of a riotously ironic! ad agency called WTF & Associates, spearheaded by president/CEO John Bristol.
Bristol says the objective is "to revolutionize art and culture." His team is purportedly also "putting the finishing touches on an ingenious multi-platform campaign" for a high-profile client.
Natch, we made a noise along the lines of "WTF...?", then visited the site, aptly hosted at wtfass.tv.
Click on the doors to watch some dementedly-cheery talking heads (in the style of this TD Bank Theatre campaign) make bullshit agency talk. And if you're patient enough, you may hear the actual pitch for said "high-profile client."
Clueless as to who? Find out below the drop.
No, not three-prong vibrators and gag balls. Actual toys. Like, to show off to your friends and/or prop up on the mantlepiece beside your as-yet-unwrapped collection of first edition Star Wars action figures.
Because being a toy-loving adult doesn't mean you've got sex on the brain 24/7. Some grownies are just gung-ho, copiously-tatted dorks that enjoy stylish mythological creatures. And flannel.
By BooneOakley/Charlotte for Niche, whose online store we visited out of curiosity.
Half its product categories (including TOYS!) have nothing in them. Bad e-tailer, bad!
More specifically, it wants its couches and desks and bedroom sets and carpets and oblong dishware inside the White House. (See concept design for the Oval Office, which doesn't so much say "President" as it does "patriotic single mom with puppy and kindergartener.")
And by adopting the "Change" message that worked so well for Obama, it hopes you'll help achieve its goal. Witness and wince while it slathers Washington, DC's Union Station with bright yellow propaganda:
o "The time for domestic reform is NOW!" (At left.)
o "Fiscally responsible home furnishings FOR ALL!"
o "Change Begins AT HOME!"