"Ok, so this picture is a metaphor of-sorts," began Rachel Hulin in her last post for PhotoShelter. "You see, those are beautiful balloons. And we had a wonderful New Year's. But eventually the balloons floated to the floor. And then the cats ate them.
"And it's with this bit of knowledge that I sadly depart as stewardess of Shoot! the Blog."
Wendy's joins the amateur video club with "Crazy Lettuce." By now you know the score: two guys are involved. One can never hold the camera straight. At the very last second some zany shit happens.
In this case, a bushy head of lettuce consumes a wee little Wendy's burger. Link to meatatariansunite, a nightmare of poor wallpaper that does nothing but hurt eyes and demand emails.
If this is the one trick to succeeding in so-called "viral marketing," the medium ought to die fast and painfully. Unfortunately for Wendy's, the eyes-deceive-thee! gimmick that served Levi's, Ray Ban and Nike so well is all used up. People finally get the joke: these amazing feats in online video? They never happened. Know what else? They're ADS.
"Crazy Lettuce" has drawn less than 1100 views on YouTube, a mediocre rating (2 stars) and mixed response (of which there are 12).
...that whole "grammar" thing, though, you'll probably need to learn elsewhere.
The ad at left is part of a University of Phoenix campaign where consecutive ads finish the thought started by "University of...", probably with other gimpy platitudes:
University of seizing the day.
University of never giving up.
University of I CAN.
Ooh, just found a variant. University of my hopes. Didn't see that one coming.
What's McCain's campaign for real change? Bringing politics to more humble roots: the frozen foods market. It's McCain Potatoes -- now in three lovable styles! Because can you honestly call sweet potato fries crusty and old?
Didn't think so. "Go for the BLUE bag."
Thanks to Adrants reader Tom for the tip. Don't look now, but this might actually be funnier than VPILF.
The Eepybird guys got together with ABC's objectively hot Samurai Girl to wreak havoc on the landscape of perpetual paper-pushers. See them turn multi-colored Sticky Notes into makeshift Slinkies! It's about as engaging as watching a dude tip dominos -- which, oddly enough, never gets old.
Social marketing firm Digisynd sacrificed 280,951 Sticky Notes to produce the above-linked video. But don't take those protest signs out yet, Greenpeace! Most of the pads are probably still fit to realize their mediocre fates as grocery lists and passive-aggressive "friendly reminders."
Check out the "new face of divorce." FirstWivesWorld.com aspires to be the go-to social network for divorcees -- or women that expect to be divorced soon.
The site is chock-full of social media distraction, like blogs and videos from other casualties of wedlock. And like jilted partners trying with vigor to keep their outlooks sunny-side-up, desperately gleeful headlines shout, "A Single, Liberating Act: Reclaiming My Maiden Name" and "Divorce is the Best Thing Ever, Says Kate Hudson"!
But there are also practical lessons, like an old-fashioned schooling on the meaning of "honeytrap" and -- finally! -- a near-solid response to that irresistible question: do men have an infidelity gene? (Apparently some do.)
It's like the '50s! 2.0. With the most crucial difference being that while you drink alone, your charmingly redecorated home will ring with the slightly-delayed warmth and pixellated cheer of spankin' new digital chums.
Still perplexed? See video tutorial on why First Wives World exists.
Imagine it: endless champagne, a lively -- but intimate -- night life, creamy white sheets, Roman baths, and sweet nothings brimming from the mouths of chiseled strangers.
What's all this? Why, "The Life You Were Meant to Live," a less-than-subtle ploy by Leo Burnett/Chicago to get your pipe-dreaming ass into Caesars. Spots include:
o "I'll Have the Bubbliest Champagne" -- for the ladies!
o "Try it Before You Croak" -- for the couples! -- or maybe just singles that enjoy morning-after intimacy.
o "I'm the Funny Good Looking One" -- for graying men still pursuing validation!
Samsung partnered with the NFL to bring football fandom to the big screen. See a couple of the TV ads, lengthened for the 'net, at That's How I See It. A spot I've seen often is the one where a dad gives his son a Vikings helmet, heirloom-style, to wear while watching TV.
In general I feel like we've seen too much of this kind of thing before. (See fans! Fans like you! Fetch wallet!) But if you feel closely affiliated with a certain football team, maybe getting recognized by a big brand always feels fresh. Kinda like how I feel every time a rapper shouts my area code into a mic.
Some chick sent us an email just dripping with faux indignation. It was all, "Have you seen this site? There hasn't been anything so demeaning to women in the history of the internet!" Don't be a tease, honey, just say it: DEAR ADRANTS, PLEASE WHORE ECKO MFG.
And boy is it worthy. The job ECKO MFG tries accomplishing, with almost cheesy earnestness, is stirring drama over Ecko's "SEXIST!!!" manufacturing practices: bikini-clad women stitching jeans together. It could be The Stepford Sweatshop -- if Connecticut were ruled by frat boys and not WASPs.
- Copyranter calls it quits. Again. Don't worry, he'll still be writing for Animal New York, and he's open to sponsorship.
- Speaking of sponsorship, HBO whips out some wad for web celebs like lonelygirl15. The network is rounding up YouTube headliners for a web series called Hooking Up. Witness the lameness.
- Degourget doesn't like Esquire's first-ever digital magazine cover, which was sponsored by the "ugly-assed Ford Flex." The price we pay for bells and whistles.
- Clear Channel Radio hosted an event called Stripped, where artists play "stripped-down" versions of songs in a jammy "unplugged" setting. Why is this news? Because Miley Cyrus performed Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, that's why. Everything involving Miley Cyrus is news, especially when the headline reads "MILEY CYRUS STRIPPED."