Brazil Takes Home Cannes Young Cyber Lion

Adland tips us to the winners of the Cannes Young Cyber Lions. The site reports, "Gold in the Cyber Lion category goes to Fabiano de Queiroz Silva and Marcela Mariano Dias. Silver goes to Korea and Joong Sik Choi and Seok Jin Shin. Bronze goes to Lithuania and Raimonds Platacis and Märcis Mikelsons." More to follow.

'Get Smart' Whored, Mommy Scolds McCain, Man Conceives Soda, Jack Hits the Track

- matrixx pulls a fast one: to score coverage for a cross-promotion between Vespa, Subway and Get Smart, it produced a write-up for us. "Please do feel free to use or rewrite the whole thing," the matrixx rep said generously. What a nifty guy. And here we were thinking we had jobs to do.

- David and Goliath put together Jack's Track, a racing game that makes the most of Jack Daniel's NASCAR sponsorship.

- MoveOn says this anti-McCain ad is its most effective ad EVAR. It involves a baby. Meh.

- Bun in the oven? Learn how to troubleshoot.

- What a strange way to market a cola. I'm disgusted. But also sold.

Wanna Party? Leave McCain with Mom and Dad

Hoping to recruit film buffs to the Democratic Party, Truth Through Action launched its first indy production, Blue Balled. Where it lacks political depth, it compensates in party-line zeal.

Nice use of the Requiem for a Dream theme music. And we totally caught that nod to The Graduate!

It's a failsafe ploy for fast appeal: No one ever gets tired of the "I'm 19! Tonight's my lucky night!" plotline, right? I'm guessing not; otherwise, Porky's, American Pie and Chico State would be fresh out of relevance.

Crappy jokes aside, we look forward to seeing future stuff from Truth Through Action.

BuddyFetch: For People that Just Can't Friend Fast Enough

This is sort of weird. Buddy Fetch brings Ask Jeeves to mind, except you're not seeking answers to abstract questions; you're seeking buddies.

The results can be just as amusing, though. We entered "writing, marketing, cats" in the search box. These were our results. But this was probably the top find of the day.

The system scans profiles across social networks, blog sites, Twitter and -- oddly enough -- AIM and Gchat. Results can be skewed by sex, age and webcam/mic access. A short profile of each user is listed, as well as their screen names across different media. (Invasive much?)

At left is a testimonial from the Buddy Fetch homepage that made us burst out laughing. Not sure why. Sometimes soul patches make us do that.

Dashboard Rock Could Excel a Bit Better at Rocking

Dashboard Rock, which represents Mazda's attempt to cash in on the popularity of games like Rock Band and Guitar Hero, vibes like Dance, Dance Revolution for your fingers. You can also download 15 songs as you move through the game.

Now here are all the setbacks.

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Enlarged Ego? Patchy Facial Hair? Plain Awkward? Adrantsarax May Be Right for You

This is awesome!

For client Cedra, Door Number 3/Austin put together Get Your Drug On. It confirms a suspicion we've had for years: that making a drug, or at least the ads for a drug, is as easy as Mad Libs.

Also, gotta love that waiting room music.

Twix Tears One Out of the 'Choose Your Own Adventure' Playbook

Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books that pretty much let you decide whether you'd die two, or twenty, pages into the story? Visit Twix.com for a grown-man version of the game. You won't get to ride any unicorns, but if you're lucky, you might get to ride something else.

The adventure is called "Get the Girl." The protagonist convinces a girl to come home with him by inviting her over to blog about the media. (That gets me every time.) But there are obstacles! Mull your options over with Twix. (Helpful hint: at the very end, pick "Be honest." You'll dig what happens.)

Accompanying spot: "Oh, blogging! I love blogging!"

Bored, Wealthy and Evil? Have We Got the Distraction for You

Here's a campaign that could prove useful if you're ever in the Netherlands with more money than you deserve, you gold-digging footballers'-wives, you.

For Miljonair Magazine, Kong/Amsterdam launched the 2008 Swiss-German Phrasebook for Footballers' Wives. A new phrase will be added each day of Euro Cup 2008.

Paris Hilton might find today's phrase handy. But I plan to use yesterday's -- "Excuse me, I thought this was supposed to be a luxury gym?" -- later this afternoon, when all those horrifying children start pouring into the local gym's rubber mat area. Being a bitch in Dutch strikes me as potentially more satisfying than being a bitch in Queens English. (And by Queens, I mean the one in New York.)

Lotus Toilet Paper Absorbs More than Its Fair Share of Moisture

Check out The Giant by agency Les Ouvriers du Paradis, possibly the most charming bathroom fairy tale ever. You don't have to speak French to infer why Lotus' Just 1 is the toilet paper of choice for mythically large men.

It's so absorbent, you'll only need one sheet! That's the kind of claim that titillates T.P. abusers like me. (I like to yank generously. It's a habit I'm trying to break.)

I want to argue the spot's more logical in the manner of its pitch than Charmin's squeeze-fetish Whipple spots, but that argument fell to pieces when the giant made with the elongated Lotus-fondling.

Starbucks Goes Bananas, Mennen Spiffs, Cusack Talks Dirty Politics, Microsoft Bans 'Gay'

- Can your manly-man hair pass the caress test?

- If a chaste mermaid won't save Starbucks, maybe frozen bananas will. (Ugh, dude.)

- Some celebrities educate the public on the Burma situation; John Cusack tallies similarities between McCain and Bush. MoveOn, as usual, is helping raise money to get the ad on air.

- Apparently the Copyright Nazis are after more than just pirates these days. In the UK, you can be prosecuted for playing music too loud or playing it for callers on hold without a license. From now on, let's just keep all music secret and see how the record industry fares.

- Baseball and the Tour de France aren't the only sports to disillusion one-time fans; almost half of Advertising Age readers believe the NBA rigs its games. I fondly await the day Canadians lose faith in hockey. Oh wait, many - already - have.

- A Microsoft Xbox Live group banned a player because he used "gay" in his gamer tag, "RichardGaywood." Upon discovering that was the guy's name, they BANNED IT ANYWAY. Microsoft, you charmers, you.