College of Notre Dame Straps Students to Space Ships!

The College of Notre Dame takes lessons from the surrealists to draw students to its desks -- or, well, "rockets."

Some things are better left to the imagination. Can you imagine how crappy it would have been if Magritte had elaborated on his "not a pipe" concept? "This is not a pipe. It's a funnel! A schoolbus! A sneak-peek into your soul!"

Because Isn't It Time that Gorilla Was Knocked Off Its High Horse?

You may feel finished with 2007, but that doesn't mean you've seen the last of its advertising. (Far from it, actually.)

Visit OneShow.TV to vote for one of the top 100 TV spots of 2007. We've seen most of them (remember Skittles Touch and Levi's Dangerous Liaisons?), and probably trashed a lot of them, but hey, it isn't ultimately us that ends up doling out the One Show People's Choice Award.

The Cadbury gorilla ad by Fallon -- the one with that catchy Phil Collins song -- is currently leading the audience sentiment race.

The People's Choice Award winner will be announced this Wednesday on May 7 at One Show.

And Microsoft is Like, 'You Know What? Forget It'

Talk about an emotional roller coaster. Discussions between heads of Microsoft and Yahoo on Saturday concluded with the two companies deciding they don't mesh well after all.

After company insiders divulged Microsoft and Yahoo were in decidedly harmonious merger talks, Steve Ballmer has formally withdrawn his bid. There will be no board ousting and no bid to meet Yahoo's lofty expectations of $37 per share.

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Microsoft Gets the Girl After All

And by "the girl" I mean that sassy vixen Yahoo, which has been towing it mercilessly by the nose for the last three months.

All it cost was a few more dollars of dignity. Was that so hard, Big Spender?

My guess is, the indiscriminate flirting drove Steve Ballmer mad with lust.

Why Would Anyone Jump Through Hoops to 'Experience' Your Ad?

Check out this Jack Daniel's racing effort at your own risk. It'll appropriate your screen with its king-sized pop-up, deluge you with laggage and in some cases make you download software you don't want. And you STILL have to enter your birthdate.

All this to learn more about Jack Daniel's sticker-strewn Impala SS? No-bloody-thank-you.

You need either big balls or a life-changing message to force somebody through all this nonsense. And frankly, my life feels roughly the same.

MarketingSherpa Releases New Online Advertising Handbook

MarketingSherpa has released its 2008 Online Advertising Handbook + Benchmarks report. They sent a copy for us to take a look and it is without doubt the most complete, concise and fact filled piece of hefty online data goodness out there. It's all about planning, designing, executing, and measuring online ad campaigns and has research from a survey with 577 online advertisers.

Dayparting, frequency capping, demographics, online media consumption patterns, spending levels, clickthrough myths, designing the perfect online ad, ad recall, average clickthrough rates, conversion rates, landing page design, online video, gaming, rich media, targeting strategies, contextual and behavioral advertising, online media buying tips. Everything. It's all in there.

The Handbook also includes an advertising eye tracking study conducted with MarketingSherpa's partner, Eyetools which reveals how important online ad placement (position) can be to a campaign's ROI. Get smart. Buy it here. (And, yes, that's an affiliate link and yes we do get a cut of the purchase price.)

Type UFO in Google Earth to Find, if Not the Colonel, The New York Times

Some YTMND.com ("You're the man now, dawg!") user made a subsite titled "Type UFO in on Google Earth to Find This" to show people that, when they type "UFO" into Google Earth, they'll see the face of the KFC Colonel at 1 Old Mill St. in Nevada.

I always thought there was something funky about that chicken. All those legs in a bucket just never seemed natural.

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Will Ferrell Rolls the Cause Dice for Burma

Whether you're an air traffic controller or some random kid in Toledo, Burma could use your help tackling that slippery "human rights" concept.

Seriously. There's some screwed-up stuff happening there, including ethnic cleansing and the imprisonment of a Nobel Peace Prize winner, and Will Ferrell took time out of his busy Funny or Die schedule just to tell you so.

In the next 30 days, other celebs will lend their earnest faces and awkward jokes to Burma: It Can't Wait, orchestrated by Fanista and Digital Influence Group. Up to bat tomorrow: Jennifer Aniston and Woody Harrelson. Sure it's an odd pairing (Natural Born Killers meets Friends?), but crisis has a way of making unlikely bedfellows.

Loving how the site cuts right to the chase with that big red DONATE button.

Chatterous Gets You Laid, Spoken Word Promotes Healthcare, Starbucks Points Fingers, Acura Sucks Up

- There's something about spoken word poetry that makes us clench our glutes. You know, like someone about to suffer something unavoidably bad. This spoken word PSA by "MIKE-E" for the American Cancer Society wasn't terrible, but we winced all through it anyway.

- Google Maps, meet GTA IV.

- So Twitter went down for just exactly too long, and in that time frame Jolie O'Dell discovered Chatterous (now in alpha!). It will get you laid.

- New Google killer on the loose. You know what's fun? Googling "Google killer".

- Starbuck's profits fell 28 percent compared to this time last year. Bummer. CEO Schultz says the crappy numbers "reflect the sharp weakening US consumer environment."

- Acura's TSX hopes to endear itself to Millennials by pointing out how we don't sleep. EVER. Printwork by RPA.

'Projectile Dysfunction' Rampant Among Young Male Gamers

As AdFreak Tim Nudd correctly surmises, this fake medical condition approach from DDB LA which promotes Activision's Enemy Territory: Quake War will resonate perfectly with young boys who, if they aren't thinking about gaming, are thinking about sex. So, an "ailment" such as "projectile dysfuntion" is sure to get a laugh. There's a video and there's a site. Now go have a giggle because yes, even at your age, you still think this stuff is funny.