Will Smith's (Han) Cock Makes London Premiere

When you're up on scaffolding dealing with the details of erecting a billboard, it pays to occasionally step back and view the big picture. In this case, the giant "cock" lording over those attending the Will Smith Hancock movie premiere last night in London's Leicester Square.

Lame-Ass Headline Comes From Sixth-Grade Diary

As only Copyranter can, a new SmartWater billboard featuring Jennifer Aniston gets a well-deserved lashing from Jennifer herself -- as written by Copyranter, of course.

A taste of the venom: "Wait, where did this fucking lame-ass headline come from? Jesus, sounds like an entry from my sixth-grade diary."

Giant Naked Ass Ruins Family Trip Into City

So you're talking a nice drive into the city with your grandparents (or parents, or kids...choose appropriate scenario) to show them where you work and hang out or maybe to go to the park or even to Ground Zero for a visit. As you drive along, you look to your left and...OMG...ASS! A giant, arched ass is staring you in the face and it's all you can do to hope no one else in the car is seeing what you're seeing. Though the size of the ass and the mobile billboard truck its mounted on is far, far too big to go unnoticed. (Yes, I know the picture has palm trees in it and is probably LA but just go with it.)

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Ladies, Wonderbra Wants Your Boobs. But Only If They're Big

To promote its new collection of D to G cup sized bras, Wonderbra is looking for 1,000 women to take part in a photoshoot on June 28 and has created a video to build interest. The video consists of a collection of metaphors for breasts such as watermelons, coconuts, puppies, pillows, knockers, cupcakes and more. The video will be distributed with hopes it will spread like this one's beginning to.

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Giorgio Armani to Unveil David Beckham's Junk

On June 18 at 5PM at Macy's in San Francisco, Giorgio Armani will unleash a giant poster with a David Beckham image from the Emporio Armani Underwear campaign. Shield your eyes little ones as the big one may be too much for you to handle. That or scrawny Victoria who'll, no doubt, be there to make sure her husband's junk remains her own, might smack you with one of her fake boobs.

Billboard Garden Gets Gold, Mama Gets Facebook, Ritz-Carlton Makes Movies

- For client McDonald's, Leo Burnett/Chicago grew a lettuce garden spelling "FRESH SALADS" on a Wrigleyville billboard. Watch the garden grow. The effort won a Gold at New York Festivals' Innovative Advertising Awards. See other winners.

- Ritz-Carlton and AmEx caught the film bug. These three promotional movies "subtly weave exceptional and unique guest experiences into their story lines, demonstrating how The Ritz-Carlton has been able to elevate service to an art form." There's nothing subtle about the movies. But if PR were an art form, that sentence would be the template.

- It's a disappearing car door! Think De Lorean but without the retro wing action.

- Michelina's Mama gets a Facebook. Digging her profile photo. One commenter asks, "What would Mama think of 2 girls 1 cup?" Horrors.

That Car Lot's Alive ... with the Sound of Music!

What ho: an outdoor campaign that (arguably) improves the landscape. The Calcutta School of Music encourages onlookers to "Learn to Appreciate" Mozart, Haydn or Bach on ads attached to posts, which are attached to telephone wires, which were strung up with notes, like sheets of music.

Would have been nice to see some random dude try playing them.

I Could Be Wrong, But I'm Pretty Sure This Would Piss I.M. Pei Off

Apple is set to open its first France-based retail store right underneath the Louvre Pyramid. The store will be two stories high and will sit alongside brands like Sephora, Esprit and Virgin.

The Fortune blog -- linked above -- noted the Louvre Pyramid, which was built by I.M. Pei, would complement Apple's glass-encased Manhattan Fifth Ave. store nicely.

The image at left comes courtesy of Why Travel to France. It isn't likely Apple will totally appropriate the Pyramid -- but hell, Steve Jobs is a really persuasive guy. All he has to do is hold a conference in front of the museum and go, "This is going to be ... insanely great." (For effect, maybe he can whip a lighter, faster Pyramid out of an envelope.)

Who'll argue? Sarkozy? The Wall Street Journal? God? No.

Yawn, Guy Proposes On Billboard. Oh Wait, No. It's A Diamond Ad

In yet another example no new ideas exist in the world of advertising, yet another innocent personal human gesture has been usurped and turned into a a marketing ploy. You've seen the marriage proposal billboard before. It's even been written about here on Adrants but, as several of our readers have pointed out our search feature sucks ass, no previous articles could be found.

So why write about another one? Because this time, it's not innocent. Oh wait, maybe the other ones weren't either. We'll never know since we can't find what's been previously written and our memory is for shit, or as a friend recently said "Wait...what? I remember the body shots...but after that...everything gets a little...fuzzy."

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Tabasco Brings Sizzle, and Possibly Some Confusion, to Antwerp Bus Service

Antwerp residents: if you're wondering why firetrucks are suddenly ubiquitous, slow-moving and sponsored by Tabasco, it's because those aren't firetrucks.

It's just your local buses, dressed like the life-saving vehicles they never grew up to become.

The bus-as-firetruck campaign was put together by Duval Guillaume, which explained -- slowly, so we could understand -- that "Tabasco is so hot that you need a fire truck to cool down your mouth after you've eaten some."

I wonder if that ladder gets hop-ons.