That Cocaine energy drink that's been getting heat is finally dropping off the face of the earth. Redux Beverages has agreed to change the name of the drink, which they claim they originally chose to assuage cocaine use, not encourage it.
We originally thought pushing a drink called Cocaine was stupid but have since changed our minds after tasting it during a frenzied all-nighter.
Cocaine tastes good. And it's got this really awesome vivid pink colour that practically glows in the dark. Our only qualm? It burns the crap out of your throat. Really. Like, two cans in and you don't have a voice box.
We became particularly attached to Cut Cocaine, the, uh, less intense alternative of the alternative. It's supposed to make the burn less potent. (It does, but a burn remains.)
It probably goes without saying that Cocaine's marketing was courting trouble. In any event, we wanted to take this time to say good-bye to our brief but pleasant Cocaine binge. You walked us through some hard times and kept us alert when nothing else would.
We doubt we'll see you again, under this name or otherwise, because come on - if Enron changed its name, it'd still be Enron.
Back to that other expensive habit: gratuitous espresso abuse.
How much do you love your carbonated sperm-killing cola of choice?
Enough to turn it into body art? Mountain Dew and agency Seed Gives Life hope so.
By implication, anyway. A new campaign called Green Label Art is promoting a series of limited-edition Mountain Dew bottles, inspired by tat culture. See video.
Rumour has it a local burger joint whose name escapes us conducted a campaign in which people were invited to tattoo their logo somewhere on their bodies in exchange for free food for life. In just a few months so many people called the bluff that the campaign had to end.
Sucks for those who didn't cash in. Well, a memory's worth a thousand ice-breaking conversations, isn't it?
Meet HI NRG, a vodka-based energy drink whose campaign site Dance Responsibly features three videos that have captured violations of our sensory rights.
Inspired by the self-policing "drink responsibly" sash alcohol brands are so fond of wearing, HI NRG claims to give you so much energy that it too must be had responsibly. Lest you diverge, the stern dance police will (you hope, we're sure) whip you back into shape.
And because it wouldn't be a legit marketing strategy without one, the site also features a CGM campaign for $3,000, almost a third lower than the going bedroom-dancing rate of $10,000, a figure that seems to fall out of CGM coffers like candy out of a big fat pinata.
Because neither the pleather-porting sex kitten cops nor the dance-themed campaign were enough of a back-decade rip-off, the drink had to call itself HI NRG too.
The campaign was put together by Kojo Interactive. We really can't think of a more devastating attempt to manifest the 90s. Wait, Alicia Silverstone just turned the corner.
We really dig this effort for PCA by Saatchi and Saatchi, Sydney, meant to discourage drunk driving by encouraging pre-meal meditations on jail.
Text reads, "Prison food doesn't taste this good." We don't know if the earnest forks prevented drunk driving but we're pretty sure they yielded a bit of implicit jail-rape humour, which make for handy ice-breakers for when dinner talk starts to wear thin.
What better way to demonstrate your affections by giving somebody you love an opportunity to eat you?
Sweet Irina's Chocolography provides just that chance with chocolate photo frames and edible ink.
"We print photos, logos, ads, brands and illustrations on chocolate for promotional items, advertising specialties, business cards, you name it," says Irina Movsisyan, the company founder. "And we print them on gourmet Belgian chocolate - either milk, dark or white."
Suddenly a thousand words seem a little much for a picture. We can think of a less verbose way to show appreciation for a portrait on dark chocolate.
This isn't the first time chocolate's been used to add cavity-inducing sweetness to something that conventionally isn't eaten (which doesn't mean it shouldn't be).
OMG OMG. We are so on board Catholic Mobile. There's no hold queue for prayer, is there?
Merci to Bill at Make the Logo Bigger. "Make your phone ... 100% Catholic too." It really doesn't get any better than that.
Give us a rosary with built-in white earbuds and we'll be set. Set.
If you can find a character and a compelling story to endears your brand to the target audience, more power to you. The soul of Ronald McDonald smiles down.
Apparently Dave the Slave was a slave potter from the 1800s who learned to read and write in secret. You can get some of his signed -- or in some lucky cases, poetry-inscribed -- pottery at Mud Sweat and Tears.
What a way to brand. If he actually existed, he doubtless took up the catchy moniker to make himself more marketable to Web 2.0-savvy internet consumers who flock to cutesy names like Twitter and Joost. Or if we're talking icons, Ronald McDonald and Geico Gecko.
We could use a heart-rending illustration, though. What's a brand representative without a face?
We love it when people take an old standby and try dabbling in some trend-setting necromancy.
Macaroni and cheese, which only devolved into Easy Mac as time went on, is now Supermac for Chelsea inhabitants in the know. Alongside plain-jane mac and cheese you can get French Onion, Lobster Thermidor or Mykanos-style mac.
And of course you have the option of partaking with or without breadcrumbs and whole-wheat pasta.
What we've got here is a burgeoning industry where a killing can be made transforming old-school foods with natural oils, whole wheat and occasionally seaweed (use your best judgment). Somebody needs to get to work on Top Ramen.
Adhurl brings our attention to Ruby, The Body Shop's attempt to cash in on the real beauty hype. In addition to the pear-shaped doll, the website purveys tips on self-esteem and being an all-around better person instead of just a skinnier one. Because we all know where that path leads.
We dig the idea of perpetuating an equal-opportunity beauty myth. We just don't think chubbier dolls are the answer. When we were kids, this isn't stuff we thought about.
We played with dolls because dolls were awesome. We didn't care if they were Amazonian like the short-lived Maxi or small as Polly Pocket. We didn't even care that most were blonde; once we hit a certain age we cut all the hair off anyway. And forget Barbie for a minute - is anybody checking up on the psychological repurcussions of Glo Worms or Teletubbies?
In much the same way they've set out to revolutionize TV, HBO turned a portion of their New York lobby into an uber gift shop of cinematic proportions. With the help of Gensler and Imaginary Forces the aim is not merely for the consumer to buy shit but to immerse the consumer in a magical mystical sitcom universe. Check out the storefront, and a sliver of the Sopranos, Sex and the City and Rome sections.
That stuff's all nice but we'd really like to see a special space for Oz. Come on, HBO. We can have Italian mobsters and neurotic 40-somethings any day. Where's our prison universe?