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December 6, 2007: Hey kids! Guess what? If you study hard and get good grades, guess what you'll get? No, not a college scholarship, sillys. That would be too boring. No, if you get good grades on your report card, you'll get a Happy Meal coupon on the card that you can use to get fat...uh...have a free lunch.
Yea, people, you read that right. In-school advertising's idiocy has spread to report cards. Yes, report cards. For covering the paltry $1,600 printing cost of Seminole County Florida's 2007-2008 report cards, McDonald's was able to place the coupon on the report cards of kids who received all A's and B's. Yes, you also read that right. Only smart kids are allowed to get fat.
Philips -- the guys that probably sold you your first affordable TV and DVD player -- have entered the sex toy market with Intimate Massagers.
"For couples to explore and enhance their most intimate relationship together," the website says, in that way where they want you to think "dirty experimental sex!" while pretending to actually be referring to something you and your husband might have considered after deep thought and four intensive marital counseling sessions.
The ad at left (via) features two people in the throes of said responsible counseling activity. They appear to be composed of waves and heat. A banner on the website uses parts of this wave/heat illustration to describe how the ergy, rock-shaped massager will fill you with "feel-good" chemicals and boost your immune system.
Variations come in "intimate," "warm intimate" and "intimate dual" -- two massagers sitting inside an oyster shell. Looks like Lelo finally has a rival!
"The Fly in the Eye" follows in the tradition of old-school psychological horror cinema. Created by Cisma/Sao Paulo, it's the story of a man who, in his efforts to get rid of a fly, bends the constraints of reality and for some reason ends up with two irises in one socket.
Weird shit. The video concludes with "Always expect the unexpected!", followed by a link to BlackThinking.com.
Because they're spraying on their pantyhose.
But wait! -- don't stop at aerosol hosiery. Think bigger. Think self-adhering panties. Introducing the NYCE G strapless G-string, part of a life-changing liaison between Nyce Legs -- the spray-on pantyhose people -- and Shibue Couture. Helping you look your sexy best.
Thanks to MTLB for the find.
I know two things about Martha's Vineyard: 1) It's remote, and 2) it's where WASPs flock to decompress, especially since cohabitating co-eds have completely overrun the Hamptons.
But sometimes even plush places need sponsorship. The Martha's Vineyard Airport commission -- which does brisk business, since the island is only accessible by boat or plane -- is contemplating selling ad space inside and around the airport. Luxury Media Partners presented it with a 16-page handout earlier this month, outlining an upscale print and video ad package that covers indoor, outdoor and landing strip displays.
"Ok, so this picture is a metaphor of-sorts," began Rachel Hulin in her last post for PhotoShelter. "You see, those are beautiful balloons. And we had a wonderful New Year's. But eventually the balloons floated to the floor. And then the cats ate them.
"And it's with this bit of knowledge that I sadly depart as stewardess of Shoot! the Blog."
Check out the "new face of divorce." FirstWivesWorld.com aspires to be the go-to social network for divorcees -- or women that expect to be divorced soon.
The site is chock-full of social media distraction, like blogs and videos from other casualties of wedlock. And like jilted partners trying with vigor to keep their outlooks sunny-side-up, desperately gleeful headlines shout, "A Single, Liberating Act: Reclaiming My Maiden Name" and "Divorce is the Best Thing Ever, Says Kate Hudson"!
But there are also practical lessons, like an old-fashioned schooling on the meaning of "honeytrap" and -- finally! -- a near-solid response to that irresistible question: do men have an infidelity gene? (Apparently some do.)
It's like the '50s! 2.0. With the most crucial difference being that while you drink alone, your charmingly redecorated home will ring with the slightly-delayed warmth and pixellated cheer of spankin' new digital chums.
Still perplexed? See video tutorial on why First Wives World exists.
When you were little, did you ever make a time capsule with your friends and promise to come back to look at it in five years? Ten years? 15 years? No? Neither did I but millionaire, founder of NCSoft and creator of the game Tabula Rasa Richard Garriott is spending $30 million to be the sixth private citizen to fly into space and leave a digital time capsule behind. On his trip to the Space Station, he will take a flash drive full of information submitted by anyone who chooses to enter the Operation Immortality contest.
Acting quickly following the trade of the Red Sox' Manny Ramirez to the Los Angeles Ddgers, last Thursday, ESPN agency Ground Zero, by noon Friday, had plastered laundromats around LA county with lost socks affixed to a tag which read, "Lose a sock, Boston? ESPN joins Los Angeles in welcoming Manny Ramirez." Quick thinking and wit works just about every time. Nice work.
I recently got to sit down with Rhea Scott, Ridley Scott's daughter-in-law. (A breathy PR guy related that trivia to me about four times, which is why I mention it in the VERY. FIRST. SENTENCE.)
Rhea once headed the music video department at Propaganda. 10 years ago she started Little Minx, a production company focused on turning ad directors into filmmakers. From what I gathered in the film reels, directors are encouraged to treat each ad like a miniature manifesto. (It probably also helps to be a surrealist art fan.)
Little Minx is able to provide the necessary creative resources -- read: king-sized budget, the ideal artist's sponsorship -- through parent company RSA.
Rhea says the company was named for her second daughter, "the ultimate little minx" and the child actress in "Come Wander with Me," part of a promotional project called Exquisite Corpse.