"First time playin'? First time...?" and "Oh, avalanches, yeah!" are the only two lines Shaun White has in this objectively weak ad for Target's Limited Edition Shaun White Snowboarding game.
If Ozzy Osbourne is ad land's favourite over-the-hill bad boy, Shaun White is its slacker of choice. Prior to this spot, the snowboarding pro starred in a couple of pointless HP ads that, like classic teen movies, are intended solely to make middle-aged men miss college.
Last year Canon ran a series of ads where tennis pro Maria Sharapova follows her dog Dolce around, snapping an endless string of doting pics the way pet owners like to do.
This year, we see the fruits her labors reaped: this new spot depicts PowerShot-toting fans racing over to the tennis star -- and taking pictures of Dolce instead of her.
Maria's not happy about that. But on the cheery up, Dolce's apparently lost the ability to think out loud in a Spanish accent.
For every cloud, a silver lining.
In "Set," Crown Royal tells the tale of an old jazz cat who passes opportunity to a young, wise-eyed trumpet player on the street. It's our favourite kind of trope: one about rebirth, and how the American dream can pass from one hand to the next.
And while Crown Royal is only seen briefly in the spot -- moving across the frame on a waiter's tray -- it ends with an elegant kick-back to the label: "For every king, an heir. For every king, a crown. Crown Royal."
I quite liked it, but a hoodied kid peering over my shoulder walked by and went, "Ugh, is that a liquor ad? What do they gotta use jazz for? That makes no sense at all."
This ad for Target makes the commercialization of the holidays look downright cuddly.
It's like a glimpse into mirror world: parents' pupils dilate as kids spout retail propaganda in iambic pentameter. Scrooge is loved for exactly who he is. And nobody's pretending it ain't about the presents.
If only my childhood Christmas plays had been this relevant to the longings of our souls. Think about it: does Baby Jesus help you save on everything from Isaac Mizrahi ankle socks to vintage poster art deco? Is he as generous about parking spaces? And does he own exclusive rights to Christina Aguilera's greatest hits?
...No? That's what I thought.
I was watching Heroes on Hulu last night when I caught these two utterly-bananas PSAs by Americans for the Arts.
Each ad spoofs prototypical cereal and junkfood ads in a fresh, over-the-top way. And they are hilarious, even after 80 watches (which you'll inevitably endure if you're watching any streaming TV on a network-owned site).
In "Raisin Brahms," Johannes Brahms bursts into a family's breakfast nook, Kool-Aid Man-style, and offers the kids Raisin Brahms -- "fortified with increased test scores and creative problem-solving skills!"
Pan to Dad. "Bobby? Susie?!" he whispers, aghast, when Brahmsy beards appear on his kids' faces.
"Don't worry, that's just the POWER of the ARTS!" Brahms explodes.
Disturbed by the perks he's being freely given since TD Bank's absorption of Commerce, Regis Philbin gets some pop therapy from his TD Bank representative.
This ad precedes a more recent spot that takes place in a therapist's lounge and depicts Regis and Kelly as puppets. Aside from some slight tweakage, the ads repeat the same jokes (Regis TALKING in the THIRD PERSON! Har!!!), drive the same points home (two banks now one, and friendlier than ever!) and are equally forgettable.
Okay, that's not entirely true. The primal scream therapy spot sticks a little. And I guess there are few things "not to like!" about a bank rep that prescribes breathing exercises for you.
By Tierney Communications.
Got a distracting case of Cartoon Lovebirds Syndrome (CLS)? What you need is Treo, a handy tube of "fast-acting headache effervescent tablets."
"Headache effervescent tablets" my ass. I know bleached Dip when I see it!
Fun, fancy-free work by Garbergs/Stockholm, with assistance from St. Paul Film and Fido.
And who's she going after? Mom.
In its latest "Wanna Play?" ad, Mattel shelves hot pink outfits and snazzy accessories in favor of mothers -- colored by neutral almond light, flanked by nostalgic music -- reminiscing about their first Barbies as their spawn brandish new ones at their feet. The piece ends with a small, excited voice shouting, "Hey mommy! Wanna play Barbie?"
The Wanna Play? subsite features old-school dolls (pre-dating the Bratz-inspired DSL trend) and solicits moms for favourite Barbie memories.
Diggin' these new ads for Sony's PSP.* Each unfolds from the perspective of a dude zombified by games like Socom, Motorstorm and Resistance 2, even as bright lights, big cities and poppin' soundtracks beguile him with distractions.
Experience sensory overload in Chicago, LA and New York (embedded below). This two-page spread features stills from all three. The unified, but starkly different, enviros tie nicely into the tagline: "Everywhere just got better."
Sassy stuff by Deutsch/LA.
- A whiff of Hugo Boss Femme may put you in a self-adulating, decidedly Diddy state of mind.
- Twitter marketing toolbox. *twirls finger*
- Contemplating facial hair? Upload your likeness here. For Schick -- which may actually lose customers that may have otherwise grown mustaches out before realizing they looked like Super Mario. (And not in an awesome, sliding-through-the-magic-pipe kinda way.)
- Bob Knorpp contemplates the legal saga of the Bratz. Complete with at least three hooker jokes.
- This HP Mini 1000 is brought to you by Vivienne Tam. We find them semi-sassy.
- Hey Facebook, "your dreams of avarice are fucked."
- Just another world record-breaking stunt.
- Cab driver advertises MBA credentials to customers. One good thing you can say about this economy: it makes everyone a marketer.