" /> My Body Is Like Whoa: June 2006 Archives

Main | July 2006 »

June 19, 2006

Focus on the Crab, Not the Boobs


No. Not my boobs, silly. The crab. Or whatever this thing is. See? I just found it in the sand. I wanna put a pic of it on Flickr so take a good one. Dude, the crab, not the boobs OK! See? The thing in my hands? OK, yes, it is a lot smaller than my boobs but come on, just for a second can you just stop thinking about my boobs? Yes, they're 34D. I've told you that a million fuckin' times so stop asking! The crab, dude. OK, yes, yes. Alright. My Body is Like Whoa but can we get to the fuckin's crab now??? Thanks. Good. Ya wanna have sex now? Wait! Wait! Not right on the beach you idiot. Come on. Let's go back to the hotel.

My Brother Gets Too Excited Over Me


That's my brother in the pic with me and I hate him. I hate him so much. He won't leave me alone and he's always sneaking up on me at him trying to catch me changing or in the shower. Such a dork. I bet he's covering his tiny little hard on with that water jug. Idiot. He just stares at my ass and tits all the time. He saw this website called "My Body Is Like Whoa" and he said you gotta send them your picture because they might put it up.

It's cool if other guys get all freaky when they look at me but my brother? Ew. That's just gross. And he's always jacking off at home and you can hear him from anywhere in the house! It's disgusting. My parents say I should just leave him alone and that it's just normal. Yea, maybe once every couple days but not five times a day! Fucker. He needs to get a girlfriend but he's such a dweeb, no one will go out with him. he begs me to set him up with my girlfriends but they all think he's gross and I'd never do that to them.

Guess what? I wear those little pants and that orange top just to tease him. It makes him get all weird and I love it! We were on a bike trip through school and when we stopped to rest he'd always run into the woods telling us he had to go to the bathroom. I doubt that's all he was doing in there the little perv. It's so totally disgusting to to take a shower after him because his goo is always all over the walls. It makes me sick! i thought I masturbated a lot but this kid is just addicted to it.

My boyfriend says I should give him a break. I mean he does think it's weird but he tells me any guy would get like that around me. and yea, that's kinda true but he's my brother! That's just fucked up.

I'm Not Just A Pair of Boobs


The whole time I was posed like this the photographer kept asking me to move my hand aways from my breasts but I told him no, I wouldn't do it. He knew I was not contracted to do nude but he kept bugging me. Both of us knew my boobs would fall into the pool if I took my hand away but that wasn't stopping him. He's the only photographer I've worked with in a long time that got physically and noticeable excited during the shoot. I mean I know My Body Is Like Whoa but a professional shouldn't get aroused during a shoot. It's just wrong and it made me feel really dirty. I don't do nude and I don't do porn and he should have known that.

Yea, I know my boobs are huge and guys like that...even if they are professional photographer but it just really made me angry. I thought about complaining to my agent but I felt bad for the guy. Even though he was kinda weird about it and way more excited than he should have been, I could understand it I guess. every other guy gets weird around me so I guess it was normal in a weird way for him to get like that.

I just hope guys like the pictures. Sometimes I don't think I'm as nice looking as a lot of other models but my agent keeps calling so I guess there's people out there that like to look at me. I just hope it's not just because of my boobs. They always want the cleavage shot and it seems like that's all they care about but I can't believe guys only care about boobs. They're just a stupid body part. Besides, they can be a pain in the ass a lot of the time too cause they're heavy and they bounce and it's hard to find tops that fit right. I shouldn't complain though. They make me a lot of money! I just did a recent photoshoot here.

Get It All Out Before Your Mom Gets Here


Hey. Come on. I told you not to sneak up on me like that. I have to get ready. Your Mom's coming over in like less than an hour and I need to take a shower. No, I'm not taking my arms down. I don't want any naked pix of me all over the Internet. No, I'm not gonna show you more of my boobs. I can barely cover them anyway so what more do you want to see? No! I said no. No nipples. You can obsess over them later. We have to get ready. Yes, I know you like how huge they are but just imagine what it's like walking around with them sticking out all the time and people staring at them. Yea, I'm sure they like it but I don't.

Oh stop. Come on. No. Don't. You can't get all hard now right before they come over. You know what happens to you. Yes. I know My Body Is Like Whoa but come on. Stop! Do not take your pants off! Do not...oh fuck...dammit...why do you have to be so huge? Can't you ever contain that thing? Of course you can't. You never can. You're always bustin' outta your pants at even the slightest hint of skin. Someday, you'll actually be able to look at my boobs without exploding out of your pants. OK, fuck...come here. We have to hurry if we're gonna get it all out of you before your parents get here.

OK...just...come here....turn around....OK....I got it. There. Let me just get my hands around...yes, you do like that don't you. Damn. Just how the fuck do you deal with this thing all the time? No wonder your pants are off all the time. It's too fuckin' big to fit in them! I can barely get my hands around it. No wonder we haven't been able to have sex yet. OK. Faster? OK. There. OK. Here we go. Let it out baby. Oh wait, wait. Point to the tub. There...OK...let it go... pretend you're fucking me from behind and your hands are all over my tits. Ah...ok...yup...that did it. Let it...damn, that's a lot. Not so loud. The roommates. Come on...quiet. Damn. Mmm...and even more. Nice, dude. All over the wall...

Yea, I know you're still hard. Yes, I know you still need to shoot. My tits? OK. Here. Just. There. Let me get them around it. OK. There. Ouch! Watch out for my face! OK. OK. Easy. Not so fast. I can't keep up. Just. Oops. There you go again. Oh fuck. Not all in my face, dude. Um. Uh. Yuck. Fuck. Does it stop? Fuck. I guess not. Ew. Come on! There's more? Damn, you fuckin' covered me. I need a shower!

Oh come on! You can't still be hard? Unbelievable. how much cum do you have? You need to cum again? No. No. We don't have time for that. No. It won't fit! We tried. Yea, I know it's gonna work sooner or later but we don't have time before your parents get here! Stop! OK. OK. Wait. Here. get behind me. There. Now stick it between my legs. OK. Now I'll squeeze my legs around it. There. You like that. Ha! I guess you do. Now fuck me. Pretend you are inside me and fucking the shit out of me. Let me jack you too. Ha! It's like I have a dick! Is this what it's like to jack off? Just rubbing with two hands like this? Cool. Let me know when....mmm....let it all out....there...mmm...damn that's a lot. Fuck.

OK, dude, your balls gotta be empty by now. Look at all that shit all over the wall...and my face you freak! Ew...but I love it! So hot. OK, wait. No. Stop. Come one. Don't. You know it's not gonna fit. yea, I know I'm wet but dude, look at the size of that thing! We don't have time. We don't...OH MY FUCKING GOD! Ow, Ouch! Stop! Ow. Ow. Ow. Uh...mmm...oh my god...oh god, oh fuck...ow...so good.... oh god. Shit. OH MY FUCKIN......

June 07, 2006

My Daughter Is So Much Better Than Horny Guys


My brother took this picture of me while I was decorating my daughter's birthday cake. It was for her 3rd birthday and I was so excited for her...and for me...to have made it this far. After I got pregnant when I was 13, Allen's parents didn't want him to have anything to do with me so they gave my parents and bunch of money to help take care of Ally and sent Allen off to some private school. i never saw him after that. For a while I was really sad and wanted to see him but his parents wouldn't tell me where he went and they wouldn't tell my parents anything either.

So my mom and dad helped with Ally so I could keep going to school. They wanted me to finish because they said it would help me be a good mom. I guess Allen's parents gave mu parents a ton of money because after I got pregnant, we moved to this really nice house in this really nice neighborhood and my father said he wanted me to work hard in high school because he was sending me to college.

Taking care of Ally is so much work because school and field hockey and cheerleading keep me really busy but it's all worked out pretty good. I don't get out much but guys ask all the time. When I tell them about Ally, they sort of aren't all that excited about going out with me. It kinda sucks but Ally is all I have now and all I want.

I haven't had sex since before Ally but guys ask all the time. They tell me My Body Is Like Whoa but when I tell them about Ally, it's like my boobs disappear and I become totally unattractive. I mean what's up with that? I don't understand why having a beautiful daughter would be so scary to a guy. I just don't get it. My parents just say it's because guys that young just aren't ready for all the work. And I know it's a ton of work so I guess I can't blame them. Like Allen, it seems all every guy wants is sex and that's all they can talk about when they are with me. They are like, "You are so fucking hot!" and other crap like that. I mean my body is really curvy...especially after breastfeeding Ally....my boobs got huge! But I don't get why guys can't love Ally as much as I do. It makes no sense.

Anyway, none of that matters because the person I love most in the world is my daughter Ally and nothing is ever going to change that.

Shelly's Boyfriend Eric Is Huge


My boyfriend Mark would so like to be standing where I am right now. Julie took this picture of us and you gotta admit, Shelly looks damn fine here. I'm not les or anything but her Body Is so Like Whoa. Her boyfriend Eric can't keep himself off her ass. She's always wearing thongs and mini. Like at the beach, her ass is all out and Eric has like this huge hard on the whole time. I wish Mark was as big as Eric. Fuck, it's so huge, it's pulls his shorts right off him!

Shelly tells me fucking really hurts unless he goes really slow but it definitely doesn't sound like he's going very slow when they are fucking in her room next to mine. He is fucking loud! And they go for like ever. Shelly tells me he can cum like 5-6 times in a row and still stay hard. Fuckin Mark rolls over and falls asleep after just one time:-( I would so like to fuck Eric...even just one time.

When Shelly was drunk one time and Eric was really wanting to have sex, I said he should just take it out. He did, and oh my FUCKIN GOD! It was so thick and it stuck up way , way above his belly button. Up to like the bottom of his chest. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to sit on him right there but Shelly would be so upset so I told him to jack it for me. He did and holy fuckin shit I couldn't believe how much juice shot out of his dick. It was freakish!! It just wouldn't stop....and he did it like four times. Totally got all over me too. Kinda gross but kinda cool too.

I never did tell Shelly about that but I think she knows. She tells me he's always jacking off. If they aren't having sex, that's all he's doing. Something about it really hurting if he doesn't. i still want that thing inside of me.

I'm Getting Way Too Big For My Bra


Yesterday, my Mom told me I had to get a new bikini because too much of my boobs are showing. Looking now, I guess she might be right. I mean, DAMN, they got huge! They were so tiny last year and now they are so big. No wonder guys are like staring at me all the time and telling me My Body Is Like Whoa. Yea, I guess it is. They're like 32DD now and still growing. I like that they are big but if they get any bigger, it's gonna start to suck.

My older sister is huge. I mean really, really huge. She wears a 36G bra but her boobs are like bulging all out of it cause they're still growing. I so don't want my boobs to be that big. She can't run and guys like just talk to her boobs. Well, they do that with me too but I still kinda like it. My sis hates it and gets really pissed off when I guy won't look her in the eyes. I just tease the guys. It's more fun to watch them get all like awkward looking and stuff. When Randy was over the other day with a bunch of my other friends he was acting weird and holding his coat over his legs. The he said he had to go to the bathroom and ran really quick to get there. I don't know if he was actually going to the bathroom because he was kinda making a lot of noise after he was in there for a few minutes. I bet know what he was doing!

Anyway, I'm gonna go bra shopping and look for a new bikini tomorrow. I hope I can find ones that fit cause last time I just couldn't fit into most of the ones I tried. They were all way too small and my boobs were spilling out the sides. My sister says there's a special place she goes so maybe I'll try that. Later.

A Little Patience Gets You My Whole Body


Sometimes when I look in the mirror and I see that my boobs are getting too big for my tops, I always wonder if that makes me look sexy or slutty. I guess it must be kinda slutty to not be properly covered but then I think, My Body Is Like Whoa, and I figure, fuck it, I'm gonna just show it off. That works fine until all those fuckin' 14 year old boys at the beach start pointing and laughing and getting red in the face and stickin' all out under their shorts while they yell to each other, "Oh fuck, she is so hot!" It's just annoying. I mean shit. Don't they have anything better to do that stare at me? I fuckin' hate it!

And what is it with boys anyway? They get with me on a date or something and they're like a fucking jack hammer that runs out of power after like two seconds! I mean I can't even lay down before they've messed themselves all over. It's gross! I mean, hello??!! I kinda wanna cum too you shit! Just cause I'm hot doesn't mean you can just get your dick off all over me. A little control, dude! Fuck.

It's like I have to masturbate all the time because these fucks don't know how to take care of me. It's not that hard. I mean some fingers sliding up and down my waist might be nice. Some kisses on my neck. And my lips. Dude, I have lips! Hello?? A little kissing would be nice before you dry fuck me in your pants and roll off like some fat shit that eats Doritos all day. Oh, and I have breasts too! You've heard of them, right? They're these big soft things hanging from my chest. A little attention there might be nice. Maybe your tongue sliding gently around the nipples. I mean don't you read about this stuff all the time? Have you heard of foreplay??

And then there's my legs. Yea, girls have legs, They aren't just a hole for you to squirt into, ya know! I like to be touch edon my inner thighs. I like a guy to slide his fingers up until he's almost there and them slide them back. Do that a few times and I will be ready to explode for you! I swear. It doesn't take much. Just control your dick for a few minutes and then you will so appreciate my body that is so like whoa.

June 05, 2006

Yellow Stickies Got Me A Job In Advertising


When my friend Tim told me he just got a job in advertising and, like, everything about it had to do with sex, I thought this is perfect! I was out of college for just a couple months and all I was doing was clubbing, drinking and fighting off guys who only wanted me for sex. It's not like I had a sign on me that said, "Free orgasm. Insert here." I mean, my body IS like whoa but still. That doesn't mean any guy can just climb on top of me, groan like an animal for 60 seconds and unleash a torrent all up inside me whenever he feels like it. I mean come one. I have a college degree! I'm not just a repository for a guy's pent up urgencies whenever his need arises.

So when Tim told me about his job and that there was an opening at the company, I begged him to see if he could set up an interview for me. I'm not sure he was listening to me when I was talking to him because all he was doing was staring at my boobs but I guess he must have heard something because I did get the interview. This dude, Felix, called and said he could see me Tuesday morning so I started to think about what I was going to do to prepare, what I was going to say and what I was going to wear. Since Tim did tell me advertising was all about sex, I figured it would be smart and give me an advantage if I dressed the part. So, I went through my closet and tried on a bunch of my little skirts and tops, even this kinda see through top I have that's got a push up bra built in to it but it all just seemed really lame.

I needed a hook. Something to get me noticed. Something that was kinda professional but kinda sexy too. Then I was like damn, yellow stickies! They must use yellow stickies in advertising so I ran out and bought a whole bunch and brought them back to my apartment. I took all my clothes off and started to stick the stickies all over me trying to make some kind of hot outfit that Felix would also think was kinda cool since I was dressing like all those hot girls in the ads. I asked Tim to come over and tell me what looked good and how I should place the stickies but, just like a typical guy. all he did was get hard. i didn't feel like having sex at that moment so I told him to go to the bathroom and jack off, which, of course, he did in like two seconds.

Anyway, on Tuesday morning, I headed over to meet with Felix. I didn't think the rest of the word would understand why all I was wearing was stickies so I put a big sweater on until I was waiting outside Felix's office where I took it off. Everyone in the office was staring at me and whispering. I mean I guess I looked pretty weird but I thought this would be normal to them because all they do everyday is create ads with sex in them. I thought I'd be nothing special. But, by the look of the guys, I guess I was having some sort of affect on them.

After a few minutes, Felix came out of his office to get me and he looked as shocked as all the other guys. I was hoping this was a good thing because Tim kept telling me it was all about sex and I was trying to be as sexy as I could be so Felix would think highly of me. Actually, he did get pretty high in his pants so I guess that was a good sign the interview was going swell. We talked for a few minutes and Felix asked if he could take a few pictures. He told me it made it easier for him to remember the people he interviewed so I said sure and stood up for him. I even took a few stickies off to make me look even better:-)

As Felix took the pictures, I could tell he was extremely aroused which I thought was really odd. If advertising is about sex all the time, you think these guys would be able to control themselves. It made me kinda nervous but I didn't say anything because I just wanted him to like me and give me the job. I guess my stunt worked because Felix asked me back for a second interview. Oddly, he asked me to wear a lot more clothes to the next interview. Oh well, I guess I'm way sexier than I thought. After all, my body is like whoa. He hired me after the second interview!