Oh how we just wanted to let this one go. Really, we did. And we thought it would just go away like every other occasional unveiling of an agency's always-embarrassing internal workings.
As idiotic, far-fetched and plain absurd as the Arnell Group Pepsi document is, anyone who's ever worked in the industry knows this brand blatherific crap is the norm when it comes to a renaming/rebranding/logo project. It's. Just. The. Way. It. Is.
We're not defending the document's overblown inanity but pick up any creative brief or major rebranding document you've ever written and read it. Then multiply the idiocy you just read by about 100 and it makes perfect sense, given the size of the Pepsi account, the Arnell/Pepsi document is as hilariously verbose and mind-boggling as it is.
- George Parker is out with his new book; The Ubiquitous Persuaders. Buy it now!
- Moo Tags. Yea, me too.
- Here are five must-have ingredients for any Steven Segal movie. It promotes the recent release of one of his DVDs. He still makes movies?
- Here's a parody of The New York Times Weekender commercial featuring Paul Rudd.
- And yes, like everyone else, we have to air Arnell Groups dirty laundry in the form of their hyper-pretentious, buzz word-happy, brand blather-filled brief for the work it did on the new Pepsi logo. Please Arnell, tell us the whole thing was a joke and you're all laughing at us now. Please?
What's an agency head do when the agency expands, builds retail space and adds a spiral staircase? He christens it by...well, watch the video.
Oh no! Say it ain't so! Even Uber-agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky is facing tough times and has had to reduce its staff of 900 by 60. Katie Kempner, VP of communications sent us this statement.
"In response to the current economic climate, advertising budgets are being reduced in virtually every industry. On a comparative basis, CP+B's business is doing well but we are not immune to the constriction of the economy. Our two main responsibilities are to our clients and to our employees. And in order to most prudently manage our business, we have
take the difficult step of reducing our staff by 60 of our 900+ employees. We do not anticipate any further staff reductions. These are extraordinary times and we hope that we will not have to do this again."
Well, there you have it. Best wishes to all. Getting laid off sucks and there's no other way to put it.
You haven't had Valentine's Day until you've trawled this year's array of hawt Red Tettemer singles. After picking one you like, open up Outlook and reel that booty in. RT doesn't even charge a contact fee.
Don't email the two-for-one special though; he's ours.
- Mountain Dew brings the DEWmocracy slogan back for its new flavor, Voltage, which sadly brings to mind the vintage Volt, a green carbonated drink with a funny aftertaste. (It appeared, then disappeared, in the late '90s.) Subsite by Tribal DDB.
- On how Kaplan and Carnival open minds.
- Word on the street is MySpace wanted Facebook way back in '05. All ended much like a more recent unrequited love. Karma bites, bitch!
- Uh-oh: Publicis tries cobbling together some Enfatico-type thing for Carrefour. Squeeze your sphincters! This turd's been turned before.
- On Circuit City and its approaching demise.
Apparently word isn't getting out that Y&R San Francisco is having a portfolio review night January 28th nor is anyone watching the several videos created to promote the event so they decided to send them to us. With the tagline, "Maybe we should meet at our place," the videos riff on the many embarrassing, inappropriate and awkward things that can happen at home.
From a pissed off boyfriend to an underwear wearing roommate to couch sex, all manner of awkwardness is endured by Y&R's creative director. The fact no creative director from any agency could be bothered to make a house call just to review a student portfolio apparently wasn't addressed in the concepting session for this campiagn
If you arrived at work in the morning to find your computer monitor scribbled all over with crayon would you:
A.) Call HR and tell them Alev Biuky has gone insane and is roaming the hallways of random ad agencies at night?
B.) Call IT and tell them Photoshop had an orgasm last night and left the remains all over the screen?
C.) Call maintenance and tell them some kind of technicolor worm crawled all over your monitor?
D.) Bring your kid to work cuz, ya know, the crayon's not really on your computer, it's on an acetate created to promote Bring Your Kids to Work Day. At BBDO New York?
Hmm. Leo Burnett must have been taking Motrin when they created their latest Future Trends in Advertising video. As soon as Ben starts talking, WHAM, block type assault you with what Leo Burnett believes will "define 2009."
Something about a New Realism, Human Reassessment, Hyper Reality, Eco Austerity, Thread Marketing and other postulations ensue.
The video is best watched with your eyes closed. Or, better yet, just read the text on YouTube. Even better, run it through Babelizer and maybe, just maybe, something even remotely understandable will be produced.
So you're an agency executive on your way to make a presentation to your client. A big client. A really big client. You land. You get off the plane. You head to your destination. You launch Twitter and write, "True confession but I'm in one of those towns where I scratch my head and say 'I would die if I had to live here!'"
Then, an employee at the client company sees the tweet, gets upset and fires off an email expressing offense to the tweet...and cc's agency and client management.
The agency executive? Ketchum VP James Andrews.
The client? FedEx...based in Memphis.
Oops. Big oops.
Ah, the never ending dangers of a 140 character tweet.