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Newsflash! Enfatico Launches Dell Campaign! Seriously Oh look! There's a mouse! A server! A laptop! People! And a stupid headline, "I Choose to Take my Own Path." Must be a B to B ad campaign. Yup, it is. An Indian one. From Dell. By Enfatico. Why does all IT advertising have to suck? Hmm, maybe it's just practice. You know, for when, 18 months from now, Enfatico finally gets around to launching a consumer campaign. JFC. make it stop. Please. Because if Mom's Not Voting Like You Would, She's Doing it Wrong I'm sure a handful of wily degenerates have fantasized about rigging this year's election results in their favour. Or voting 30 times instead of once. Given that you can't do either of those things without great risk, consider making your mom vote for your candidate of choice. She gave birth to you; we're sure she'd do it just to keep you from hitting her up for money this month. RTCRM Wrings Sweat Out of Agency Creatives Creatives hitting the vending machines at RTCRM might be accosted with a smorgasbord of aluminum signs, each with a military-style message demanding, in some short shouty way, that they beat their own bodies into a pulp and do a great deal of sweating. This is part of RTCRM's six-week "extreme exercise" boot camp. Creatives meet at 7am, twice a week, to groan and sweat with fellow languid-limbed chums. Must be interesting for morale. You never quite look at someone the same way once you've seen where their sweat glands are most active. And an approach like this is infinitely kinder than firing people for smoking. Draft/FCB Shake Up Coming, DirecTV Gets Ideas, Enfatico'd Ethics - George Parker's spies have informed him there may be a "major shake up" coming soon to a Draft/FCB office near you. - You've seen all those DirecTV ads, right? The ones that play off the scenes of various movies? The current one pays homage to Poltergeist. Tirico Suave has plenty of suggestions for more. - With Guns 'N Roses releasing its Chinese Democracy album soon, Dr. Pepper, who claimed they couldn't get it done this year (and if they did, would give a free bottle of Dr. Pepper to everyone in America) must now live up to its promise. - Audi asks you to Meet the Beckers. - If you want to hear a bunch of experts on the topic of the internet benefiting small businesses, sign up for the Solution Stars Video Conference. Apparently, I'm an expert because I'm one of the speakers. But, you'll have to watch and decide. Creative Director Finds Lost Ring, Agency Dutifully Issues Press Release OK. Everyone in unison now. "Awwwww...how sweet." Isn't that how you'd react to Mullen Associate Creative Director Bob Pirrmann getting his wedding ring back after losing it three month earlier in the four story, 200,000 gallon New England Aquarium tank? No? Right. Neither did we but it's still an interesting story. Back in July, Pirrmann, a certified diver, was at one of the Aquarium's public dives where the agency wsas celebrating the launch of Sharks & Rays, an exhibit for which the agency created a campaign. Thinking the ring was lost forever, Pirrmann gave up hope of ever seeing it again until this past Sunday when he received a call from the Aquarium informing him part time Aquarium diver Mike Whyte had found the ring nestled among, yes, finger corals at the bottom of the tank. Today, Pirrmann returned to the Aquarium for a dive with Whyte who showed Pirrmann just where his ring had been hiding for the last three months. A mini media frenzy ensued. All parties went home happy. The media got its story. The agency got some press. Pirrmann got his ring back. And Pirrmann's wife got her man back having reattached Bob's balls which she'd been holding ransom since the ring was lost. Lisa P. Maxwell Exposes Agency Members to Outside Interference Nodding to the transparency craze, last March Modernista created the most transparent website imaginable. Instead of telling people about itself, it used public websites -- over which the agency had little or no control -- to relate the story instead. For its own redesign, agency Lisa P. Maxwell tackled "transparency" from a different angle. Visit the site for unfettered access to all its creatives. There they are, live on streaming webcams, waiting for a chat buddy who hopefully won't shriek "SHOW BOOB." Weeeeird. Could the Zeitgeist (that's us!) be the "Big Brother" George Orwell so feared? I smell a dissertation! Pair the Agency Ego to His Celebrity Doppelganger! Vote for the most uncanny likeness between men in advertising/media and men in Hollywood. Because if we can't be somebody who matters, it's sorta comforting to look like someone who does. This effort's among several other irresistible list-candy posts that Glam is using to promote Brash.com, the men's network it launched last week. Other lip-smackin' slices of data pornography include the Brash Hall of Fame (50 legendary men!) and the Brash 100 (men still changing the game). Ogilvy Athens Causes David to Roll Over in Grave On par with the embarrassingly horrid Bank of America internal ballad, Ogilvy Athens has unleashed its own horror show in the form of an ode to the agency's founder. Thankfully, the beginning of the video comes with the warning, "CAUTION: The following video clip is an amateur effort. It was produced and edited by the staff of Bold Ogilvy Athens." Heaven help Ogilvy Athens when the agency's clients see this and begin running for the door, screaming, "OMFG! Those people are producing and editing our work?" So, Like, I Heard BBDO Only Hires D-Cups. Hey, Why Don't You Go Check? To promote the Li Yue Long Men Young Creatives Competition, BBDO/Shanghai is using this :45 video to spread the weirdest rumour: that all its female staff members are D-cups. Finding three young D-cups in all of Asia is a feat, which alone made the video worth watching. I also like the effect the cheesy music had on this slow exploration of the Shanghai office. It made all that leering look less ... leery. Brand Value Missing, Razorfish Returns, CMOs Angry - The majority of senior marketers - 55 percent - lack a quantitative understanding of brand value at their respective organizations, according to the results of a new Association of National Advertisers Interbrand survey, announced over the weekend at the ANA Annual "Masters of Marketing" Conference in Orlando, Florida. - Now that Avenue A/Razorfish has rebranded as, simply, Razorfish, the required new agency website is up and running. - Cadbury Gorilla gets yet another spoof. - Hmm. Old client Akamai is getting into the ad business with the launch of Advertising Decisions Solutions, a behavioral targeting solution. - Yawn. CMOs are angry with agencies and ad networks. This is a new sentiment? 
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