Welcome to the brave new world of ready-to-wear advertising. Cuckoo Campaigns enables small credit unions to compete against major banks with its stock marketing service.
Basic packages start at $4,500. You just pick a campaign that you like and a Cuckoo rep will deliver a fully-produced campaign within a month.
The only other things you really need are a ready-made swatch of suits, in campaign colors, and a peppy personality to match the shiny new veneer. We doubt Cuckoo helps with those but we're sure there's another firm out there that will.
Dallas-based Moroch Partners was just crowned Agency of Record by the National Osteoporosis Foundation. Interestingly, Moroch is responsible for quirky McDonalds fare (predating their "we're healthy we swear to God!" phase) like the excuse generator and the dolphin v. man face-off.
How best to respond to the designation? Moroch Partners considers. Then, in trademark style, it releases a gossipy Joan Rivers PSA where she examines the bones of red carpet stars. Rivers is also the National Osteoporosis Foundation spokeswoman.
The PSA could have been funnier but at least it wasn't a dolphin v. man or excuse generator revisit. Anything involving Joan Rivers triggers a reflexive wince, a little like preparing for a mental and emotional pummeling.
We're welcome to being wrong, and maybe it's the X-ray effect, but for the first time in our short lives we wondered if she's smarter than she looks. Maybe we grow more sympathetic as the likelihood of getting osteoporosis increases.
- Apparently, Lord Maurice Saatchi is an idiot. Yup, he is.
- Adland has re-designed and we like it a lot.
- Part name-change announcement, part just-fun-to-do, the Chicago office of Zig has created a silent auction to remind their old Hadrian's Wall email list of their new name. They're auctioning off various Hadrian's Wall paraphernalia on eBay.
- Landor Associates has unveiled the new identity and rebranding work it did for The Museum of Television & Radio which is now dubbed The Paley Center for Media. Hmm, even posthumously, media types have an ego the size of a museum complex.
In a desperate attempt to re-spin the London Olympic 2012 logo fiasco into something more positive, the agency behind the log has huddled around the office to see how they can turn the ship around. This captioned photo tells the true inside story of an agency under fire.
Dear Wieden + Kennedy (and most other ad agencies too),
Please repeat on the conference room white board 100 times: A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film. A commercial is not a film.
Or at least stop your PR people from referring to :30's and :60's over and over again as films. They're commercials. They're ads. No matter how beautiful or creatively fueled they are (and your latest work for Nike certainly is, indeed , beautiful), they're ads. They're just ads. Sorry. No amount of creative puffery can change that. Most movies aren't even films let alone :30 and :60 bits of creativity that sell stuff.
So, please, can we lay off the inflated sense of ego and just realize all we do in this business is sell stuff? We can glamorize it all we want. We can give it fancy names. We can even go to Cannes a week after "real" filmmakers do to make ourselves feel as though we are they're equals. We are not. They make entertainment. We sell stuff.
The Pompous Assholes From Adrants
(who, at heart, are really, really nice people who totally understand the business of the press release which, for better or worse, must follow a format that is far removed from how normal human beings speak but, for better or worse, we are stuck with and make fun of from time to time which then causes unrest because of that fun-making which, in turn, causes us to profusely apologize to the very nice human whose job it was to write the standardized information delivery transferal, all of which, for better or worse, rightly earns us the the title Pompous Assholes)
- Massachusetts, as has been discussed for some time, is considering a proposal that would create commercial free zones within public schools.
- Dunkin' Donuts and Mapquest have partnered for offer MyIcedCoffee, a site that helps travelers plan trips while making sure a Dunkin' Donuts is close by.
- George Parker meets advertising's New Kids on the Block at the PSFK London Conference and realizes there's hope for the business.
- Though not to the extent of the full on female bodybuilder freak show, Boddington Beer seemingly wants us to believe its beer gives women bulbous curves where we don't usually expect them.
- Ad spending in gay and lesbian publications in 2006 reached a record $223.3 million, an increase of 5.2 percent over 2005 and an increase of 205 percent since 1996, according to the 2006 edition of the Gay Press Report, the annual survey produced by advertising agency Prime Access Inc. and gay media representative firm Rivendell Media.
Leo Burnett Spain was just awarded the Grand Prix at the San Sebastian Advertising Festival for a campaign that ran last fall for Turner Classic Movies which involved outdoor elements that chided people for not having watched classic movies. Taglines such as "This guy still hasn't seen 'Rear Window'" and "This guy still hasn't seen 'The Apartment'" were emblazoned on parked cars as well as on scaffolding. You can view a video of the campaign here.
The tipsters have spoken. First to George Parker. Now to Adrants. It seem the idiots over at CareerBuilder who fired Cramer-Krasselt apparently because its Super Bowl ad didn't place the the wholly unscientific USA Today Super Bowl ad poll have awarded their account to Wieden + Kennedy. Good luck guys. Hopefully, you'll convince the intelligence-challenged CareerBuilder folks there's far more reliable studies out there to determine ad effectiveness.
Boston area marketer Kevin Glennon, in response to an article he wrote about Ford's marketing which received hundreds of responses but none from Ford, has launched Helping Hank, an effort to convince Ford to make an actual Bold Move: hire him as its Chief Marketing Officer. More than a ploy for employment - which Kevin doesn't need having launched his own successful business years ago - Kevin has written a letter to Bill Ford calling his attention to the article he wrote in which he urges Ford to think differently and offers up such suggestions as partnering with Lowe's and/or Home Depot to provide a Zipcar-like rental service.
Whether it's crazy or brilliant, you can decide for yourselves as Kevin has set up a full blown online campaign and weblog to support and continue his efforts towards improving Ford's marketing efforts. If we didn't know Kevin, we'd figure this was some sort of elaborate stunt blog marketing efforts so favored by some ill informed brands a few years ago but it's not. It's an honest effort by a smart guy who thinks he can improve a companies marketing. Only you and Bill Ford can decide if the effort is worthy.
An Adrants reader writes, "Tom Ajello, and several of his favorite 'creatives' from the ship he sunk, Agency.com, will be starting up an interactive division of MotherNY called PokeNewYork. The official announcement is rumored to be on June 5th. Currently the only thing on the site of pokenewyork.com is a picture of Tom's baby. Expect to see lots of 'upload your face' banner ads and a sharp drop in Mother's coolness!"
Poke New York? That has to be a joke? Who'd name an agency Poke? Oh yea:-)