No, not three-prong vibrators and gag balls. Actual toys. Like, to show off to your friends and/or prop up on the mantlepiece beside your as-yet-unwrapped collection of first edition Star Wars action figures.
Because being a toy-loving adult doesn't mean you've got sex on the brain 24/7. Some grownies are just gung-ho, copiously-tatted dorks that enjoy stylish mythological creatures. And flannel.
By BooneOakley/Charlotte for Niche, whose online store we visited out of curiosity.
Half its product categories (including TOYS!) have nothing in them. Bad e-tailer, bad!
More specifically, it wants its couches and desks and bedroom sets and carpets and oblong dishware inside the White House. (See concept design for the Oval Office, which doesn't so much say "President" as it does "patriotic single mom with puppy and kindergartener.")
And by adopting the "Change" message that worked so well for Obama, it hopes you'll help achieve its goal. Witness and wince while it slathers Washington, DC's Union Station with bright yellow propaganda:
o "The time for domestic reform is NOW!" (At left.)
o "Fiscally responsible home furnishings FOR ALL!"
o "Change Begins AT HOME!"
As demonstrated in Marie Antoinette, Sofia Coppola is really good at making pretty productions, unfettered by complicated narratives. It's this quality that makes her such a fetching fashion advertiser.
We give you the Coppola director's cut of Miss Dior Cherie, an ad for Christian Dior's bopper-honing fragrance.
Fortified by Brigitte Bardot's beachy Moi Je Joue -- and by model Maryna Linchuk's Lolita-like coquettishness -- it's sublime, frothy and fun: the perfect cocktail for girls that haven't yet graduated to Chanel No. 5.
See prints here.
Ever on the lookout for sensory violations, Brentter's brought us Angry Whopper ads for the UK and Germany.
In case you need refreshing, Burger King recently announced the availability of its Angry Whopper in the US with this bizarre ad, where a farmer physically abuses an onion during its crucial growing stage.
As a result, the onion leaves the earth hotter than Satan's feet. Added to a jalapeno-infused Whopper, it spanks the mouth of any office cog who dares order it.
It turns out the Angry Whopper's been on the market in Europe since May, with ads obviously tailored to each culture. The UK spot is pretty tame -- an anger management teacher, who thinks she can "handle" her rage, doesn't handle it very well after taking a bite.
As for the German one? Well, it's Germany. Add a fetish, slip it in leather and give it a whip.
@tim_nolan introduced us to The Fist of Oblivion, a bizarre web series directed by Roman Coppola for Scion Broadband.
Scion Broadband, a lifestyle content network targeted to young, thrifty and image-conscious drivers, launched in 2006. We didn't realize it was still kicking.
And while it's hard to go wrong with muppets, kung-fu and mobsters, we're glad there's a place where Scion's ad folk can potentially still express its creativity.
Microsoft channels Dr. Horrible with this scary new ad for Songsmith. Not since Vista's Rockin' Our Sales music video has Bill Gates' baby so deftly tapped the Twitter rubbernecking reflex.
Five-time Olympic medalist Nastia Liukin invades fashion rags for BCBG Max Azria. The limber gymnast brings physical abandon and sugar-plum-fairy guilelessness to a medium dominated by sullen, overposed divas.
Just another treasure from the haute coffers of Jeremy Dante.
Visa first captured Liukin's porcelain ballerina quality in this ad for its "Go World" campaign, which aired during the Summer Olympics. Shortly after the Games, honey was deluged by spokesmodel opps. Clamoring suitors included Cover Girl, Vanilla Star and Wheaties.
In a yet to be published (we are told) letter to Advertising Age in response to its publication of the Top Ten Ad Songs of the Year, The Apollo Project's Paul Horn makes the convincing argument the songs are nothing more than a representative playlist one might find on a Brooklyn-based hipster music blog.
"Purple is the new black," proclaims a PR guy in an emailed preamble about his love of grape juice, which has been "much maligned as a sugary kids' drink that can't be natural (what could possibly be that purple, right?)."
In that manic light, Welch's, whose purple is 100% au naturelle, enlisted "food scientist" Alton Brown of the Food Network's Good Eats program.
Behold as he vindicates Welch's time-tested, suspiciously picturesque juice production practices. ("At Welch's, squeezing CON-cord grapes into natch'rel juice releases TONS of anti-awx-idants called ... po-lee-fee-nols.") He even takes time out of his day to teach us the Latin name for the Concord grape. (Veetis Labrewsca, baby.)
Boy does that ad work up a thirst. As well as a curious craving for Eucharist bread. "Uh-maaaay-zing little fruit." Thanks for your endorsement, Alton Brown!
In '07, Scion seduced us with dark wit and gothic charm. Then, in '08, the company took an unexpected sharp turn down Lackluster Lane, barraging us with "limited edition" cars and other cheesy gimmicks.
(By way of explanation, a company rep said Scion's Little Deviants effort -- where "sheeple" are violently attacked by imps in custom cars -- upset a few crucial people.)