Betty Everett once advised a shoop-happy generation that a man's true feelings lie in his kiss. That may be so. But if social media's taught us anything, it's that you are in no position to decide by yourself.
Thankfully there's De Beers, which gave us the chance to idly pass judgment on the kisses of many, many strangers. Does hubby love you? We'll decide.
For the last two weeks De Beers has been at a New York City Park, baiting apple-cheeked couples with a giant wreath of mistletoe. In exchange for a $5 donation to the Elton John AIDS Foundation, holiday romantics can leap beneath the wreath while 60 (count 'em, 60!) cameras immortalize the smooch from all 360 degrees.
British drink maker Tango is under threat but they aren't going down without a fight. They've launched a Save Tango campaign. From car jacking to underage labor to phone sex to...um...junkyard dancing Tango is screaming, "up yours manufacturers of smoothies and vitamin drinks, you will not squeeze Tango out of the market!"
Complete with a blog, videos, games, a Tangometer and even a petition to the Prime Minister, Tango isn't going to give up easily. Join the resistance. Make the Can Fist.
Created by BBH, the campaign has a good time poking fun at the "namby-pamby PC brigade," otherwise known as all those so-called "healthy" drinks that have become so prevalent.
"You've carried my manhood for too long."
Brentter drew our roving gaze to this amusing ad about the fictional Akira, who runs Tokyo's go-to break-up service: No Sad Big Smile.
Experience a uniquely eventful day in the life -- then, after laughing (or at least smirking) your ass off, hit up NoSadBigSmile.com to check out the Adidas Originals Safety Collection. (Not clear on the logic behind the label ... unless the shirt dude's wearing is bullet-proof.)
Fresh fare by TBWA\London and production company Taiyokikau. Diggin' the song? That's because it's gorgeosity. It's Perro Amor Explota by Bersuit Vergarabat.
Two relics of the old guard try something new in these print ads for Marc Jacobs/Louis Vuitton, featuring Madonna. Variant.
There's a lot going on -- those stringy shoes, chunky witch doctor bangles and a hair skirt, of all bloody things -- but like we said to our friend Jeremy Dante (who passed the ads over), Madonna's career is a defiant chin-jut to an industry that swallows young divas, warps their minds and spits them out as lesser animals.
She's an edgy classic, imperfect, unbridled but timeless -- and that's a niche LV can do something with.
That question is rhetorical.
Brazilian actor Caua Raymond is auctioning off a hunk of chewed Trident that he kept in his mouth, just for the fans, for exactly 15 minutes.
Video below! Hope you speak Portuguese. Diggin' how Raymond has a dude with a tray and a glass receptacle, hanging around for moments like this one.
For reasons I sure don't understand, the vid is the most-viewed on YouTube Brazil today (280,743 views and counting). The "winner" of this spit-saturated dream-pebble gets to meet Raymond in a ceremony, where the money raised from the auction will be donated to charity.
So Trident, I guess that highlarious mastication movie just didn't work out for you...?
Over the years it's taught us how babies are made, why the Holocaust was not very nice and where those sassy red tennis shoes really come from. Most importantly, it helped bring Britney back and has kept Russell Brand knee-deep in pharma specifically for our viewing pleasure.
Given what we owe MTV for this elegant yet candid upbringing, it's only natural that someone try paying a little back. And who better than Amsterdam, baby?!
Tomorrow Chanel.com debuts Coco Avant Chanel, a 10-minute silent film celebrating the legend of Mademoiselle Coco -- pre-dating her existence as a brand demi-god.
The film was directed by Karl Lagerfeld, the only person alive who can make a safety vest look chic. Leaving us to salivate with nary but film stills and a trailer so pitch-perfect it makes smoking sexy again, Lagerfeld haughtily confided his distaste of movie extras.
"They don't know how to touch the clothes," he whispered coolly before toasting us* -- an action that made chills travel from glass to torso.
Balls! Paint! Play-Doh! Foam! Zoetrope! Zoetrope? Say what? Yes, it's time for another grand scale Sony commercial and it's being shot right now in Northern Italy. The ad will feature Brazilian footballer Kaka and the the world's largest zoetrope as vetted by the Guinness Book of Records. The zoetrope, a device invented in 1834 by William Horner which creates short films out of static images, measures 30 meters in circumference and 10 meters in diameter.
These ads are causing a bit of a stink. Variants -- with titles generously supplied by me -- include The Bullet or the Noose? and Puddles of Inferno!.
Are they really that bad?
According to Meredith Corp., 56% of women worry more about weight than disease, so you know there's enough hate surrounding muffin-tops to happily fuel many millions of sordid calorie suicides.
And come on. Who didn't enjoy the Garbage Pail Kids? Or Sin City? Or, hell, the Road Runner cartoons?
That was pure sadism. And what did you do? Shovel in another mouthful of Froot-Loops, that's what.
Last month we made it pretty clear we weren't keen on wearing bikinis and riding bulls, but Lucky Brand Jeans thought it'd try us anyway.
Introducing the Lucky Buck-Off. After uploading your face onto the body of an elf, use your keyboard to get, well, bucked by a reindeer. (Why is his nose glowing green? Is he sick?)
Get a discount upon completion. Rumour has it the discount rises if your bucking abilities improve. (I faired rottenly! -- and still got 20% off.) Coupons and codes are valid until December 31.
By kirshenbaum bond + partners.