Tomorrow Chanel.com debuts Coco Avant Chanel, a 10-minute silent film celebrating the legend of Mademoiselle Coco -- pre-dating her existence as a brand demi-god.
The film was directed by Karl Lagerfeld, the only person alive who can make a safety vest look chic. Leaving us to salivate with nary but film stills and a trailer so pitch-perfect it makes smoking sexy again, Lagerfeld haughtily confided his distaste of movie extras.
"They don't know how to touch the clothes," he whispered coolly before toasting us* -- an action that made chills travel from glass to torso.
Balls! Paint! Play-Doh! Foam! Zoetrope! Zoetrope? Say what? Yes, it's time for another grand scale Sony commercial and it's being shot right now in Northern Italy. The ad will feature Brazilian footballer Kaka and the the world's largest zoetrope as vetted by the Guinness Book of Records. The zoetrope, a device invented in 1834 by William Horner which creates short films out of static images, measures 30 meters in circumference and 10 meters in diameter.
These ads are causing a bit of a stink. Variants -- with titles generously supplied by me -- include The Bullet or the Noose? and Puddles of Inferno!.
Are they really that bad?
According to Meredith Corp., 56% of women worry more about weight than disease, so you know there's enough hate surrounding muffin-tops to happily fuel many millions of sordid calorie suicides.
And come on. Who didn't enjoy the Garbage Pail Kids? Or Sin City? Or, hell, the Road Runner cartoons?
That was pure sadism. And what did you do? Shovel in another mouthful of Froot-Loops, that's what.
Last month we made it pretty clear we weren't keen on wearing bikinis and riding bulls, but Lucky Brand Jeans thought it'd try us anyway.
Introducing the Lucky Buck-Off. After uploading your face onto the body of an elf, use your keyboard to get, well, bucked by a reindeer. (Why is his nose glowing green? Is he sick?)
Get a discount upon completion. Rumour has it the discount rises if your bucking abilities improve. (I faired rottenly! -- and still got 20% off.) Coupons and codes are valid until December 31.
By kirshenbaum bond + partners.
Wieden + Kennedy/Amsterdam reprise the intro to The Pink Panther with this catchy spot for Nike's Mercurial Vapor IV.
"He's a gentleman, a scholar, he's an -- acrobat!"
Cheeky. Wait for the tooth-gleam at :47. Makes me wanna watch soccer while cuddling a plush Ribery doll.
- Wal-Mart's looking to unload its $40 million digital ad account. The shortlist includes Resource, Digitas, MRM, R/GA and Razorfish.
- Digital Mad Men! Watch. Watch. Because Vince Kartheiser talking Caturday is probably the funniest he's been in his short career so far.
- Dell cracks open Design Studio -- where users can pay $75 to get a unique image "permanently tattoed" onto their laptop lids. o_O That's a slightly steeper commitment than the peel-off-friendly GelaSkins.
- Arby's brings hard-ons. I really hope they don't put this on TV.
- MySpace does video streaming on mobile phones. With ad support.
- As of January 1, adult social networks will not be permitted on Ning. (Pretty good) reasons listed in the link.
- YouTube cobbles together digital chamber music orchestra.
by Angela Natividad
, Consumer Created
Titus -- whose luxury mountain bikes can range between $3370 and $7495 -- hopes to appeal to young, budget-taut users with a campaign tagged "It's worth a second job."
Each print piece manages to be slightly humiliating without leaving the kiddie park. A delicate balance. See variants:
o Phone sex operators
o Nude model
Food for thought: with $7495, you could buy three Macbook Pros, 32 iPod touches or 94 white earbuds. (Lisa Simpson would die of envy!)
Or, hell, you could get one of these.
Not that we care where you spend your hard-earned shekels; we're just putting it in perspective.
By TDA ADVERTISING & DESIGN/Boulder.
When this is over, don't look at us and go, "What the hell is Diesel smo-kin'?" because we sure have no idea. (To be fair, smiles cracked when coke, whores and other misfortunes drove Pete the Meat Puppet to eat one of his own legs.)
One ad like this is quirky. But two? It's practically a spree.
For Diesel by FarFar and Legs. Reception's been mixed, but at least one person on YouTube seems to think the company's intentions are heart-healthy and noble.
All-singing, all-dancing meat magic below the drop.
Lowe Roche/Toronto and Psyop have put together a devastatingly charming holiday ad for Stella Artois.
In it, a Geppeto-esque craftsman builds an elaborate paper dove. When night falls, she flies off his desk and descends upon a sleepy paper town -- all to park a snowflake (or is it a star?) at the base of a Stella Artois goblet, glowing like the Christ child.
Make haste and see. Users on StellaArtois.com, where the video serves as an intro, can also send "paper" stars -- glorified beer invites -- to friends. Options for appropriate "tone" include Custom, Poetic, to the Point and Sincere.
I picked Poetic.
This random spot by Heat/SF for Electronic Arts depicts a tragic sk8erboi who can't play Skate It because he has crab claws for hands.
"All my friends play it. They say it's rad. It's just my dad married a ... crab."
Collective awwwww. Sucks to not be able to live the dream. But hey, he'll get over Skate It, and you know what they say about men who like fish.
By Green Dot.