We've spent 15 minutes digging through the filth and sludge of the 'net to try finding a copy of Paris' latest ad, where she crawls around naked and covered in gold as if she OD'ed on these. If you find it someplace, pass it over. (In the meantime, we found this glorious piece of work.)
The golden Paris ad is for a canned wine drink called Bubbly Blonde by Rich Prosecco -- which, as far as brands go, is pretty fond of the Hiltons' black sheep. (She even sings on their homepage!)
Packaging description: "The perfect 'starter drink' for your night or a special pleasure as a reward at the end of the day." We're guessing nobody read that out loud to check for "flow."
The "wine" comes in passionfruit, strawberry and original (uh, grape?) flavor. It launches in Berlin, Germany this week. Expect to see it Stateside in '08.
Nude Paris a la gold paint. We'd smack our lips and go "GRRR!", but that's Steve's thing.
LOL. To help big, stodgy Microsoft reinvent itself for the creative kiddies, Wexley presents Hey Genius.
Hey Genius includes a jobcuzzi (for steamy interview de-stressing), a genius transporter, and brain massage stations for geniuses suffering from finals week.
If only these attempts to make Microsoft cool actually coincided with one another. (See Zune and Vista efforts.) And if only Apple didn't already have a Genius training program.
And how much do you want to bet that even if Microsoft did draw young, sexy (bedraggled?) talent away from Google or Facebook, those same kids would still feel a little jipped upon walking into Corporate? Uh, it ain't exactly Californication in the Pacific Northwest.
"You can't domesticate a server!" snarls one critic in this corny but clever ad for Windows Home Servers.
Adding uncharacteristic, and shyly controversial, color to a mundane office tool, Microsoft -- with (lots of!!!) help from Creature -- repositions the server as a domesticated animal.
The idea is that a stay-at-home server better assists remote knowledge workers in a more productive environment -- at home (a truly revolutionary idea, yada yada). The campaign also draws parallels between servers and stay-at-home dads. This side-snicker take on real-life issues reminds us a little of early Vista efforts.
See microsite. Promotional material also includes a book entitled Mommy, Why is There a Server in the House?, for sale on Amazon.
Check out this video of a pair of projected "billboards" that flirt, giggle and throw stuff at each other. They were put together by BOS, Toronto for Fido, a wireless provider up thither.
Since everybody likes a shiny object that moves, the attention-getting spots will be projected on different buildings throughout downtown Toronto between December 6th and 29th.
The charmed projectionists are Media Merchants, based in BC. They are using "high-power light projectors," which we're guessing aren't the same as the ones that so tortured us in social studies class.
We can't help but notice Dell is using its XPS model to (ever so innocuously) try repositioning its brand as a whole.
For this decidedly complicated gig, it enlisted Mother, NY, which in August demanded that we reconcile a passel of mod devotchkas to our mental image of Dell. It was a brave and interesting effort, but an ultimately unconvincing one.
For the XPS One, Dell and Mother are pushing harder still.
Looking to sip a pop while engaging in island frivolity? Look no further than CC Metro, an entertainment-filled virtual isle on There.com, courtesy of Coca-Cola.
The island will be Coke bottle-shaped and features music, games and other piped-in stuff that execs think will draw hipsters to the flame. Better yet, they've come up with a new buzzword (because "virtual island" is so passe): "realistic environment."
That sounds almost like something that wants to be confused for real life, except it can't be, because it isn't.
There's a new one for the bullshit dictionary.
Hey kids! Guess what? If you study hard and get good grades, guess what you'll get? No, not a college scholarship, sillys. That would be too boring. No, if you get good grades on your report card, you'll get a Happy Meal coupon on the card that you can use to get fat...uh...have a free lunch.
Yea, people, you read that right. In-school advertising's idiocy has spread to report cards. Yes, report cards. For covering the paltry $1,600 printing cost of Seminole County Florida's 2007-2008 report cards, McDonald's was able to place the coupon on the report cards of kids who received all A's and B's. Yes, you also read that right. Only smart kids are allowed to get fat.
Here are a couple of ads (Grip and Voyage) that promote the grips on Coke bottles. They involve a friendly green octopus that adds grip to the bottles with help from its handy-dandy suction cups.
Any campaign that improves the reputation of octopuses to children is a great campaign in our opinion, because we think they're a grossly underrated sea creature. (And to think -- every re-airing of The Little Mermaid will undo all this fine work.)
On the other hand, these might just freak people out and get them all sketchy about touching textured Coke bottles.
Finally a Zune ad we like. It is fun to watch, slightly nostalgic, and smacks a little of springtime (something we need right now because winter is sucking out our souls).
This spot is called Intergalactic Swap Meet. Think Sony Bravia with a dash of Little Deviants (because it's a bit dark, not all pop and Technicolor).
That whole "sharing is caring" thread is present as in the previous spots, but it's not sickening or otherwise objectively lame like in previous efforts (observe hither and yon).
Here's a Vodafone ad by BBH, London. The premise is that Vodafone can turn our accumulated in-between time into something truly meaningful.
We're pleased to say the ad itself surprised us. Not in that ostentatious way where you're like, "Hey, I thought there was sex involved but it was just somebody getting tattooed!" or "Hey, I never would have guessed that sex scene was going to devolve into slapstick comedy about sensitive teeth!"