Corona = Jumanji. Bring Big Umbrella, and Bug Spray.

We're trying to decide what we can say about this ad, short of "Corona makes Jumanji." But no, we can't think of anything.

If you drink Corona, you will have Jumanji. Or screaming orgasms. Hopefully not both at the same time.

Smart, Snarky Audi Ads Leave Watchers Feeling Dirty

Based on its last pair of efforts (1, 2) we decided that ad-wise, Audi's getting pretty - and flippant too, a quality that's lost in luxury car ads that get by on status alone.

Venables, Bell & Partners, San Francisco and production company OUTSIDER USA got together to continue the trend with a couple of new spots.

Moments for the Audi TT plays the tease with meaningful moments cut tantalizingly short, smugly signifying that while you can't get much done in .02 seconds, you can at least change gears. Really, really fast.

Parking is a spot for the A4. The action and length betray an unmistakable fuck-you to marks like Lexus, which features parking assistance technology.

In the world of high speed and hot bumpers, Audi's positioned as the innocuous-chick-turned-hot-bitchy-babe, and everyone wants to like her anyway.

Release of Unapproved Ads Get Saatchi Fired

The ongoing uproar over the Saatchi and Saatchi London-created ads for Dr. Martens which showed various rock artists sitting in heaven wearing the brand's steel toed boots has resulted in Dr. Martens parent company AirWair Ltd. firing Saatchi. The ads, which Saatchi claims Dr. Martens approved to run once in the UK's Fact Magazine caused a bit of controversy and complaint. Dr. Martens claims the images in the ads were not approved stating the work is "counter to our current marketing activities based on FREEDM, which is dedicated to nurturing grass roots creativity and supporting emerging talent."

Saatchi says it stands by the work, feels it is not offensive, promises to investigate why the ads were released beyond their intended destination and to "consider the ongoing employment" of the person who may have released the ads to the public. Oh my how things escalate.

UPDATE: Potions of this item have been changed to reflect corrections received from Saatchi & Saatchi UK and Dr. Martens.

Bud.tv Dies, Online Ads Live, Carat Loses, Office Cools

- Cynopsis reports, "The disappointing Bud.tv may "fade away" later this year, admitted Anheuser-Busch CEO August Busch IV in a conference call to analysts" and "Rupert Murdoch's bid to acquire the Dow Jones & Co., which includes The Wall Street Journal, Barrons and the Dow Jones Newswires, isn't looking too promising."

- The Internet Advertising Bureau and PriceWaterhouseCooper report online ad revenue increased 35 percent in 2006 to $16.9 billion.

- Havas' MPG is certainly grinning over its recent $740 million Sear media account win. Unfortunately former media agency, Carat, is grinning an entirely different grin.

- This is just not all that much fun but hey, you have to sell office cooling systems somehow.

Apple Unhappy With iPod As Sex Toy Enabler

It seems the iPod is becoming a very popular sex toy enabler. First, it was Soft Paris which released its Oh My God-inducing OhMiBod iPod plug in that, well, plugs in to a woman to deliver that special Oh My God feeling. Now we have sex toy retailer Ann Summers marketing a similar device, called the iGasm, with posters that look identical to the famed Apple silhouette campaign.

Apparently Apple doesn't want to be associated with female pleasure and have gone all legal on Ann Summers' ass with cease and desist orders. In an effort to lighten things up over at Apple, Ann Summers' Jacqueline Gold said, "Perhaps I can send them an iGasm to put a smile back on their faces!" Indeed.

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Ray Ban Will Do Anything to Keep You Watching

Here we have another Ray Ban video for the Never Hide campaign. Continuing down the path of arbitrary-but-watchable, a couple makes out all over town.

Yeah, that's the whole ad. And before you go, "WTF, dude, why is that watchable?" we have to ask, would you turn away or keep staring if you saw this in real life?

UK Mac vs PC Ads Even Less Palatable than US Variations

Update. We're not too keen on the UK variations on Apple's Mac vs PC campaign, but user comments suggest they're really rather awesome in a UK kind of way.

Guess you have to be there. On this side of the pond, however, the variations really make you appreciate the kind, if condescending, chemistry between Justin Long and that-other-guy.

The ads feature actors Mitchell and Webb of a sitcom called Peepshow, whose vibe can perhaps be most easily compared to Larry David's painfully awkward Curb Your Enthusiasm.

KFC Saves Money, Debuts CGM-Powered Commercial

Here's that new KFC spot that will debut during tonight's American Idol. If you recall, it's the spot that's made up entirely of consumer-generated content found on YouTube and MySpace. Hmm. Way to keep that production budget down, guys.

FedEx Talks Back to 'Net-Surfing Time-Wasters

We were skulking around the Internet when we came across this hourglass-shaped FedEx banner. It turned on its own a few times, then invited us to flip it ourselves. So we did and it said something really snarky like, "You must have a lot of time on your hands."

Oh how we seethed. Then we realized it's been a long time since we've felt anything at all about a banner (have we just been burned too many times before?) so we thought we'd post it.

Nice how it flipped without bringing us anywhere or generating pop-ups.

Virgin Atlantic Airways Does Barf Bags in a Big Way

We were shamefully unaware of Virgin's preoccupation with barf bags until this entry by AdFreak, though one can probably argue it goes hand-in-hand with the drugs > food lifestyle of their other obsession.

Anywho, the barf ... bag ... theme is something they're clearly committed to. With Crispin Porter + Bogusky holding the staple gun, Virgin's proceeded to affix three-foot-tall barf bags onto temporary walls around construction sites and scaffoldings in major cities like New York, San Francisco, Boston, DC and Chicago, the airline's biggest hub cities.

Each bag has a long tome across the front about the retch-worthy penny-pinching going down in the airline business today.

"What better expression of the current state of air travel than an air sickness bag?" a Virgin spokesperson dryly notes.

Under the tsk-tsky tagline "How did air travel become so bloody awful?", expect to see the campaign through mid-July.