We have a love/hate relationship with Candystand, whom we've reviewed so often we ought to be on their payroll.
We think they know it.
To fully leverage our weakness for time-wasting single-person games and sell us candy at the same time, they've come out with yet another such offering called Orbit Spherez. (Guess what candy they're pushing.) It merits a NSFW rating. Be careful.
Our only big beef: what's up with the laggage? We are not fans of laggage.
Since Jurassic Park we are wary of anything involving labs, dinosaurs and the promise of sex. But for some odd reason Schick sees this as the perfect formula for their latest slew of homepage-worthy marketing schemes.
We're experiencing unpleasant early 90's nostalgia with this Dino Hunters thing they're doing. The promo page assures the uncertain that "Comedy, sex and nasty ol' lizards abound in this free game about hunting dinosaurs" - and we don't know how or why that sells razors (the thought of running one blade, much less four, over gigantor scaly skin makes our stomachs clench) but perhaps it does.
The sex component is a burden mainly carried by the token ditzy blonde Candy. In a perfect world hot cartoon characters would be smart and not vapid because the point of being able to create is to correct the shortcomings of reality, yeah? No.
What's going on in agency land these days? Is it just us or has everyone else noticed the plethora of accounts being through into review? Now it's Johnson & Johnson throwing their $3 billion global media buying and planning behemoth into the ring for agencies to fight over.
We never cease to be perplexed by this running Converse campaign for Chuck Taylors.
"Get Chucked." Isn't chucking slang for spewing the vom? Is this some sort of lame attempt at reappropriating the term? Maybe Converse should talk to the clever societal puppeteers who managed to alter the meanings of "nigga" and "queer."
Eschewing ill-fitting thong bottoms and bikini tops that struggle unsuccessfully to confine over sized, undulating breasts, Heineken has classed up the beer babe in this new Vidal Partnership-created, Resident effected Heineken Hispanic commercial in which models, elegantly dressed in flowing white dresses, lovingly decorate and present the product to the camera. OMG! We can't take it any longer! Give us back the Coors twins! The Miller Lite Cat Fight Babes! Anything. Please. Wake us up from this nightmare. Oh...wait. This commercial, apart from the already done beer babe fantasy, is actually good. Forget everything we just said.
We already know that Wonderbra likes playing with the space between magazine pages, and they've taken that concept outdoors. This scrolling display can't seem to do its job because of all the, uh, baggage on Wonderbra's well-endowed model. Clever. Maybe Viagra or even Aussiebum should start paying attention, considering this isn't the first of the bra company's campaigns that can go both ways.
Do you know what kind of bra ad would really catch our eye? A dramatic expansion, a violent pop, and mass hysteria. Are you paying attention, Wonderbra?
We're completely weirded-out by the T-Scan 2000 for Milwaukee's Best Light.
The TScan scans your tongue to gauge which beer is right for you. Because we're sharp as tacks, we didn't actually put our tongues on the screens, just clicked through the scanning process to the very end. But the system rejected us because it lacked sufficient tongue information. Okay, whatever. So we clicked through again. Again, insufficient tongue information, and could we please add pressure too?
OMGWTF, we said. So, ever so gingerly, we put our tongues on the monitor.
And still yielded no results.
And now our screen is wet.
We feel so douchey.
- Wal-Mart CEO: I'm not a big fan of marketing. Oops, I meant advertising.
- It seems Microsoft might scoop up DoubleClick for a questionable $2 billion.
- More contextual foolishness. In a Herald Sun article about two Sudanese women getting stoned to death, an ad with a man and his son throwing stones appears. Don't you love the intelligence of computers?
- Michael Eisner has hooked up with MySpace which will broadcast his online series Prom Queen beginning April 2. Eighty ninety-second episodes will be released. Check out the teaser here.
- Musician Nathan Bennett has, in one day, written a song and created a video called On MySpace which thanks listeners for finding him on MySpace. He hopes to use it to promote himself.
- Even prostitutes advertise.
Sears wants better "efficiency and effectiveness" in its media buying and, apparently, incumbent MindShare and MEC Interaction aren't delivering. A review for the $780 million piece of business will be opened. Aiming to complete the review by second quarter, the retail giant has not named the consultant that will handle the review nor the names of any considered agencies. At this point, Sears' creative agency Y&R Chicago seems to be on safe ground.
In early March, Hyundai began accepting applications for its Mash and Seek Challenge, a game somewhat similar to a game developed for Budget car rental, which will, on April 30, place 16 finalists in teams of four with a single photograph mashed up with the faces of the team members. The first team to find another will win four 200y Hyundai Elantras. Quizes will be administered every two weeks and those that answer correctly will be given clues to the location of other teams. Check it all out here.