Promotions like the Carl's. Jr./Hardee's Spicy Buffalo conjure up major differences between Adrants editors. To start with, Hardee's for Steve is Carl's, Jr. for Angela, who is going, "WTF is Hardee's? Talk about a double-entendre!"
It also brings up the gender issue. While Steve can be sold by the buffalo wings by both the blonde (who knows our names!) and the sandwich, Angela can't help thinking, "I'm tired of sexy girls undressing to sell me shit. What happened to the Chippendale market? Doesn't Kasey Kahne want to sell me something? Jude Law? This guy?"
Come on, Carl's Jr. (or Hardee's, as applicable). The ovarian gender isn't all just eating salad over here. We have needs too. Show us some buffalo.
Hi. It's Steve. Angela, Chippendales? They wear Speedos! G Strings! Eew! Make me puke! I'll take a sexy girl undressing to sell me shit any day of the week thank you very much! And what's with the sexy image in your article here? Huh? Huh? Who's perpetuating the sex sells theme now? :-)
Steve - Speedos and male G-strings are the warrior loincloths of today. What could be hotter than a warrior in meat-slaying battle gear? Yeah, can't think of anything, can you? I rest my case.
And PS. Unconditional purchasing allegiance to the prototype Barbie blonde? So passe. I'd venture to call it Neanderthalic, but even the Geico caveman's too cool for that. >=) *Flips hair*
Oh but Angela. We men pride ourselves on our Neanderthalic simplicity. Why bother with all that overly complex emotional stuff that bogs you ladies down when a simple "Dude, we cool" and a busty blond in a bikini will do it for us every time? Simplicity, baby!
I can't beat the simplicity argument. *long pause* Man, losing to you sucks. I think I'm going to head back to my room, cry and listen to Jagged Edge's cover of "All Out Of Love" on repeat.
It's all good. What would Adrants be with out fair and balanced coverage? Oh wait. Fair and balanced? We don't do that? That wouldn't be any fun. And we like fun so we're just going to keep writing about politically incorrect, thong-clad hotties who hate gun control, love suicide, hate PETA (but love to appear nude in their ads), like sex with midgets, think ads that make men look stupid are cool, like to make fun of fast food workers and think kids who get fat at McDonald's is because of their own stupidity and not that or marketers.
We had high ad hopes for Classmates.com. When they started unrolling the "She married him?!" ads we thought, how cute, they're going to play on cliches. High school is rich with them.
But an otherwise promising direction's lost its luster as Classmates.com failed to give us much more than the same pair of ads and the same cliche, both featuring the bespectacled chick we've come to consider their poster child.
Apparently this darling has stopped bringing in the dosh because Classmates.com is going interactive. Here we find their first effort. In line with the nostalgic yearbook photo theme they bring us ... an image jigsaw.
Unless you're Picasso there are only two moves worth making. If even then you're not clever enough to put the pieces together, just follow the green arrows on each square. Try not to blink; you might miss one.
We seem to have a thing for those fake magazine cover ads and it looks like DDB is using the trick as its last stand for JC Penny before handing over the reigns to Saatch & Saatchi who will give us its "Every Day Matters" love. But, for now, it's still "It's All Inside."
In the March issue of GQ, the cover of another magazine, MANdatory, appears complete with manism headlines such as "There, there. How to tell her what she needs to hear" and "Emotions. Could there be more than two?" It's not terribly creative but it does stand out in a sea of messageless, Dolce & Gabanna-like ads that fill the magazine so we'll give them points for that. It did get us to stop and read it.
Alas, the retailer is due for a squishy Love Marks makeover which, hopefully, doesn't try to make the place more than what it is: a moderately priced department store that sells moderately styled items to moderate people. Everything doesn't need to be high end, ya know.
Aware of the average college student's ongoing state of starvation, Kraft puts together University of St. Arvin, where users can auto-generate depressed letters to parents and otherwise scam their way into some Easy Mac.
Our memories of dorm room subsistence are vivid and not very pleasant. We haven't touched Easy Mac since. But even if processed insta-food is behind us, microwaving stuff that shouldn't be microwaved is not.
We're glad we've been given the opportunity to experience this small pleasure from the safety of our own monitors. What can't a computer do for you today?
We all have to deal with vermin from time to time, but rarely do we have to fight them for our fried chicken, dolphin v. man-style. This is what patrons of a KFC in Greenwich Village had to do when a deluge of vermin ran a rampage across tables, chairs and trays.
Graham and Jamie fill us in on the story and include a clever little comic where PR guys (of course) save the day. Because in the end, tons of rats generate tons of press for KFC and "Customer Mania!" parent company Yum! as a whole. You just have to know how to spin it. No advertising is bad advertising ... right?
- Now here's an ad that really reaches out and touches you.
- Oh God. All we need is another meaningless marketing buzzword that capitalizes on yet another new trend.
- Just in time to comment of CareerBuilder's idiotic "firing" of its agency comes this Forrester report which claims marketers love to place blame on agencies but can't back it up with any sort of "failure metrics."
- Heineken has $70 million to spend but it's unclear who they'll spend it with.
- Starbucks' CEO laments some of the streamlining changes he's made and ponders its affect on the brand.
- What? Again? Starcom nabs Advertsing Age's Media Agency of the Year nod.
- Joe Jaffe is finishing his follow-up to "Life after the 30-second spot", titled "Join the Conversation: How to engage marketing-weary consumers with the power of community, dialogue and partnership and he needs your input for a survey he's doing on Conversational Marketing that will be a topic in the upcoming book. He's looking for brand marketers to complete the survey. Lend him a hand.
- Furniture retailer Levitz has signed on as a major sponsor of HomeTeam, the nationally syndicated weekly TV show that helps people become homeowners.
It seems $50 million dollar marketing decisions can now be made on the basis of winning or losing a newspaper's ad popularity contest. Yes, that's right. CareerBuilder has placed its account in review because its ads did not make a top ten appearance in USA Today's Super Bowl ad poll, a tiny survey based on just a few hundred people with absolutely nothing to do with whether or not an ad affected sales.
Cramer-Krasselt President Peter Krikovich is pissed. Livid. Dumfounded. And steaming mad and tells Advertising Age he responded to CareeBuilder's opening a review based on the poll by asking, "You have to be fucking kidding me, right?" The agency has resigned the account and will not participate in the review.
For Dov Charney, who's bowing out of American Apparel in pursuit of his own manifest destiny, office life has been a source of both business and pleasure.
Short of being a lumberjack or Chuck Norris, Dov Charney is a king among men. Dov Charney:
* Masturbates regularly in front of reporters
* Gets freaky with colleagues (thanks, Jewlicious)
* Pushes American Apparel's squeaky clean clothes with skanky adverts
* Still manages to position American Apparel as an ethical business that pays good wages and poses no harm to overseas workers
While Julie Roehm fights for footstools over in Pariah-ville, she must be shaking her fist at what Dov got away with over the course of his career, also behind the guise of a similarly apple pie all-American style company.
Granted, American Apparel ain't all sex, and it isn't the first brand to use R-rated tactics to pull in a fickle demo.
Are we looking at a double standard? And double standards aside, is America just too uptight about this sex stuff?
It was only a matter of time before Wrigley's Candystand, whose candy-tagged games get progressively better, would start testing waters in real gamer territory.
Candystand and Wii just joined forces in a bizarre cross-branding where Wii web games are peddled on Candystand and Candystand is totally accessible through the Wii browser.
The relationship isn't exactly low-key - within 24 hours of launching on Wii's Internet Channel, Wii.Candystand.com drew 6000 visitors and a ton of positive reviews. That is, according to Scott Tannen, Wrigley's director of global digital marketing.
This is the first branded site to link to the Wii browser, which will definitely get competitors sniffing at the door to be next in line. Candystand's content offerings are also formatted for television instead of computer monitors.
Kudos to Wrigley for creating a series of branded offerings that seem able to stand alone in gaming world. It hasn't been an easy trek, considering Candystand was first introduced in '97 - building this kind of recognition takes time. Just ask Target.
We still harbor doubts that our Socom buddies would be deeply impressed to hear we destroy the competition on Altoids Sheep, though.
We thought the Microsoft Butterfly was kind of nifty. The guy in the BlackBerry suit? Not so much. Giant plush costumes are so deceptive in their frozen state of cheer and rarely work outside Chuck E Cheese and college football fields, where they can be ridiculed at leisure by their own peers.
The requisite BlackBerry Mascot MySpace, as if we care.