Cisco's trained us to expect a campy pitch for the ASR 9000 to accompany almost all holidays where we have to demonstrate undying loyalty with cash.
Father's Day is no exception. After giving Dad a pass on every cheap brag and unlikely childhood triumph he's ever told, Cisco poses profound questions like this one:
"...And In what freaking universe would argyle socks be more appealing than six times the mobile backhaul capacity?!!"
Not this one, I guess. That reference to Dad being "burly and barrel-chested" was kind of creepy though, but in keeping with that slightly-violating oddvertising vibe that we're all crazy about right now.
Share the awesomeness! at techedgeweekly.com.
To strengthen the US Postal Service's online chops -- and give augmented reality technology some bonafide useful marketing implementation -- AKQA/DC developed the virtual box simulator.
Here's how it works: you print a little eagle off the website. (This is so the system knows how big your item is, relative to something else.) Switch on your web cam and launch the Virtual Box Simulator. Hold the eagle up to the camera until a virtual box appears, then toggle the size to best suit whatever item you plan to ship.
30Rock's Jane Krakowski appears in this tacky ravaging of Gone with the Wind for Breyer's ice cream.
And while we can appreciate the seamless integration of a contemporary (if hardly worthy) Scarlett O'Hara, it disgusts us to no end when she puts on the Southern simper and weds her crappy girls-night-out-fantasy dialogue to Rhett's timeless hot/cold leading man ditties.
Make sure you sniff some glue before watching this Sub Rosa-created video or Diesel's fragrance, Only the Brave. Or smoke some weed. Or, better yet, heroin. No, we're not advocating drug use. It's just that the trippiness of this whacked creation would likely be be far more enjoyable under the influence of something.
What do Dean Cain, Bobcat Goldthwait, and a rotund man in a silver unitard all have in common? They are all part of Microsoft's latest Internet Explorer 8 campaign developed by Indiana-based advertising agency, Bradley and Montgomery.
If that pitch made you as almost-curious as it made us, check out browserforthebetter.com. Hopefully you'll have better luck than we did: the site demanded that we install Silverlight before divulging anything, and even after that, it still wouldn't relinquish its secrets.
So we had to hit up Ads of the World, where we found out the campaign is coloured by a series of PSA-style "Special Internet Service Announcements" targeted to people with internet afflictions.
So it's kinda like that HANDTOSS shit all over again. Microsoft, how one-trick-pony are you?
When Lenovo told us about its laptop theft preventative, the SMS Kill Switch, we didn't think they actually meant "kill the thieves dead."
That's the vibe we got when we saw "Laptop Theft Goes with a Bang," a video promoting the new feature, seeded by The 7th Chamber.
But if it's any consolation, even as the street crook spontaneously combusts, you can rest assured your laptop remains both safe and scratch-free.
The SMS Kill Switch now comes stock in new Lenovo ThinkPads. Actual WCDs (weapons of crook destruction) probably need to be modded in -- but hey, if iPhones can open car doors, that can't be hard.
Wawa's pushing its yearly Hoagiefest new media-style: with the requisite Facebook, and online video, etc. etc. But like last year, the campaign's big deal-breaker is a song commissioned by Parry Gripp.
Witness the magic at hoagiefest.com.
The animation, unabashedly high-pitched music and the prospect of a fresh hoagie lights up our innards like psychedelic pot. For Steve it conjures up Woodstock "with maybe a little Up With People thrown into the mix" -- for me it's totally Beatles circa Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.
This year, fans can join in the fun by making their own songs or videos, then voting for each other's. Winning entrants could win a year's worth or hoagies -- or hell, their own Hoagiefest. (What would you do with such a thing?)
We're just waiting for the spoofs on "Break the Monotony," a campaign for SPAM -- yes, the meat whose identity you can never quite peg -- put together by LAIKA.
See "Bored Room," which depicts bread slices in a meeting, falling gradually into comas, until SPAM leaps in, Kool-Aid Man-style, and crashes the party.
Tim Gunn knows a thing or two about fashion. By association, he knows a thing or two about laundry detergent. Strike that. He only knows what Tide pays him to know. In a recent Tide Total Care commercial, Tim touts the anti-fading qualities of the product.
Taking Tim's Tide claims to task is Consumer Report's Theresa Panetta who examines the commercial's claim Tide won't fade clothing after 30 washes. After testing the claim against two other detergents, Consumer Reports found Tide Total Care faded a test dress "just a little bit" compared to All Small and Mighty.
But the big insight was discovering the third detergent, Tide 2X Ultra Coldwater, did just as well as the other Tide detergent, Total Care, at half the price.
So while Tide's commercial claim is technically true, they'd rather us not know they make another product that does just as ell but costs half as much. Greedy bastards.
Fresh out the Harry Potter franchise, Emma Watson returns to earth on behalf of Burberry, which managed to score her in full postpubescent splendour.
She's clearly not the geeky kid witch we all took her for -- although this Mary Poppins-esque carpet bag leaves us with the sense she may have a few tricks yet. Or maybe she's just hiding an oversized umbrella that conjures the east wind when she needs to make life-changing nanny trips.
Brought to us by the incomparable Jeremy Dante.